Your partner doesn't drive, does it bother you?

GaleSF63

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Why do you think?!

But people who CAN drive, don't expect to be driven around by others, and don't HAVE to be driven around by others. It's not hard to figure out!

Plenty of people who can drive expect to be driven round by others in particular people who want to drink when they are out. What about lifts to airports, (I've done that - a lot; taking them there, fetching them back, 35 mile round trip each time with no word of paying for petrol) hospital appointments - I'm sure there are loads of other examples. With some of them it will just be rare occasions but for others...

In my experience those that expect to be driven about - whether they can drive themselves or not - probably are the ones expect people to run round doing things for them in other ways as well.

(I'm no longer on speaking terms with the one I took to the airport, but thinking back I think they were more of a taker than a giver.)

coolcait

GaleSF63 wrote: »

...

In my experience those that expect to be driven about - whether they can drive themselves or not - probably are the ones expect people to run round doing things for them in other ways as well.

...

And that is probably the nub of the issue. It's about those who take v those who give.


You (general) will find that there are drivers and non-drivers in each category.

missbiggles1

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Why do you think?!

It's because people who don't drive, expect to be/have to be driven around by people who can drive, and can never return the favour. But people who CAN drive, don't expect to be driven around by others, and don't HAVE to be driven around by others. It's not hard to figure out!

How on earth is a driver a 'burden' to a non-driver? :huh:

As a non driver, you have no idea how stressful and tiring driving is, and when you are the only one doing it. So yes, to have a non-driving partner; especially one who expects to be driven around is a flippin' pain! Even more so if they refuse to learn. I would say 'fine, you don't bother learning then, but you are getting public transport everywhere matey! :cool:

In my experience from being a non driver, drivers never offer them lifts (no reason why they should) but if another driver's car is off the road, everybody rallies round.

I also think that long term non drivers rarely need lifts as they organise their lives around the availability of public transport and use the money they save from not running a car to use taxis.

Jagraf

I have to say my inlaws never learned to drive as they said they needed the money to buy a house in the old days. They then spent their whole lives expecting lifts from their kids, who paid for their own driving lessons by working long hours while studying.

It was only when FIL died that MIL started getting taxis so that she could get out more.

Never really thought about it until this thread, but they certainly would never 'waste' their money on a taxi.

System

I never relied on my parents for a lift in my teens, i just walked everywhere or used public transport, i pretty much feel the same now. Even if people do drive, they might still have limitations. My mum refuses to drive long distance or out of town, she's not a confident driver. Dad on the other hand commutes daily and drives overseas for his job. So my dad has to drive my mum on long journeys. So drivers can be reliant on others too!

Indie_Kid

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I also think that long term non drivers rarely need lifts as they organise their lives around the availability of public transport and use the money they save from not running a car to use taxis.

I am one of these people. I can't drive for medical reasons and this has always been the case. With the exception of a few places, I do organise myself so that I can get to places via public transport. I am lucky now that I live right on the edge of town. This means that many places are either within a short walk or there's a bus that will go there.

I do remember whinging about flight times on Facebook (it would have meant an overnight stay) and my sister replies with "I could drop you up there. We'll discuss this when I'm back". I was not going to ask, knowing it's an 80 mile round trip.

garfield33

I drive, my partner doesn't (he had a few lessons, years ago, and says he *can* drive, it's just the technicalities of actually passing the tests and getting the licence...), anyway. As we live in a city, most of our short trips are done by bus anyway - cheaper and less stressful. Generally I don't mind doing the driving. There have been a couple of occasions where we've been on holiday, say the Lake District, and I would have liked to be the one gawping out the window instead of concentrating on the roads. And on very long drives it would be nice to swap around and have a break. But he's very good, he has only ever asked for about three lifts and that's when he's had a lot to carry. I do offer lifts but he usually turns them down and gets the train or bus - but again, living in a city we have these options, not everyone does.

On the other hand, I have a friend ("friend") who didn't drive until very recently. The rest of us were happy to pick her up even though she lived out of the way, but there were times when she could quite easily have got a train or bus to meet us, but refused. She would even kick up a stink if we used a park-and-ride as she didn't see why she should have to get a bus when we were in a car that could take us all the way (for more stress and expense...). She recently passed her test and we haven't heard a word from her since - almost as if she doesn't need our services any more... it is no loss to me.