Your partner doesn't drive, does it bother you?

LandyAndy

leeparsons wrote: »

I am sorry to say this, but your comment is offensive!

What a shallow person you are. Perhaps there is a reason they dont drive, like medical conditions. That has nothing to do with drive or ambition. You sound like a gold digger chav! I hope guys realize what you really are!

Somehow, I don't think DKLS will care much what other guys think of him.

Lily-Rose_3

OnceTwiceThreeLotsOfSB wrote: »

Of course, it would be beyond the realms of possibility for your friends/family and yourself to agree to get a coach/minibus to your chosen destination.

I'm not sure why non-drivers get stick for supposedly being dependent burdens due to their lack of skill yet drivers don't seem to get criticism for refusing to consider any form of transport but the car. Non-drivers should feel obliged to do something they may not want to do but that doesn't apply to drivers. Sounds fair.

I don't drive and if transport was an issue for a relationship of mine, I'd expect us both to compromise. Something along the lines of her picking me up every other week, with me paying for my own train/bus tickets in the weeks in between. I certainly wouldn't feel guilty with that set-up.

Why do you think?!

It's because people who don't drive, expect to be/have to be driven around by people who can drive, and can never return the favour. But people who CAN drive, don't expect to be driven around by others, and don't HAVE to be driven around by others. It's not hard to figure out!

How on earth is a driver a 'burden' to a non-driver? :huh:

As a non driver, you have no idea how stressful and tiring driving is, and when you are the only one doing it. So yes, to have a non-driving partner; especially one who expects to be driven around is a flippin' pain! Even more so if they refuse to learn. I would say 'fine, you don't bother learning then, but you are getting public transport everywhere matey! :cool:

System

Neither of my long distance exes drove, so we relied on public transport. Which for one of them i know he hated travelling (but at the time he lived at home and i had my own place so he preferred to come to mine), and current bf doesn't drive. But it doesn't bother me. I mean yes it would be nice to be able to spontaneously go somewhere like a day trip without planning and public transport but its not a big deal. I can;t drive for medical reasons so persoanlly i'm used to public transport and i have a bus pass, so with the bf i don;t mind being the one to travel to see him (in 6 months he's never been to mine-but i live in a houseshare so only have my room-and theres nothing to do here) and i i prefer his house as there's more to do and we mostly have the house to ourselves. He does want to learn when he's put some money aside, but tbh there's no real rush. Personally even if he did drive i'd still prefer to get the bus i wouldn't want to rely on him for lifts, especially as for the forseeable future i can;t reciprocate

barbarawright

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Why do you think?!

It's because people who don't drive, expect to be/have to be driven around by people who can drive, and can never return the favour. But people who CAN drive, don't expect to be driven around by others, and don't HAVE to be driven around by others. It's not hard to figure out!

How on earth is a driver a 'burden' to a non-driver? :huh:

As a non driver, you have no idea how stressful and tiring driving is, and when you are the only one doing it. So yes, to have a non-driving partner; especially one who expects to be driven around is a flippin' pain! Even more so if they refuse to learn. I would say 'fine, you don't bother learning then, but you are getting public transport everywhere matey! :cool:

In the 30 odd years since I left home I can literally count on my fingers the number of times I've asked someone to go out of their way to give my a lift. Often I would have preferred a train journey but have felt obliged to carshare in a endless motorway journey. Don't assume that everyone dislikes public transport as much as the average petrolhead. It serves my needs quite adequately

And yes, a driver can be a burden - I've arranged walks where it would have been much more convenient to go from one station to another but dedicated drivers have insisted on bringing their cars. They aren't *always* more convenient.

Indie_Kid

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Why do you think?!

It's because people who don't drive, expect to be/have to be driven around by people who can drive, and can never return the favour.

Do we? I go to my parents of a weekend. I get the bus there and get dropped home again. I only get a lift to somewhere I go on a Wednesday because there's no public transport there and back.

Izadora

Lily-Rose wrote: »

It's because people who don't drive, expect to be/have to be driven around by people who can drive

I never expect to be driven around but, as mentioned above, have been made to sit in traffic on motorways for hours by people insisting that we take their car, even when I've pointed out that the train is quicker and cheaper...

BoJangles_2

Its only ever bothered me when the reason for not learning to drive is to avoid having to drive to events where drinking is involved.

Jagraf

I'm in my forties and everyone I knew couldn't wait to learn to drive. All my friends had passed their tests by 18 (it was all a lot cheaper then). My husband also learnt straight away but he lived in an area where people tended to use public transport.

Unless for medical or financial reasons, I would find it unusual for someone not to drive. But that's just the experience I have had and actually very often the train is quicker.

marleyboy

Lily-Rose wrote: »

It's because people who don't drive, expect to be/have to be driven around by people who can drive, and can never return the favour. But people who CAN drive, don't expect to be driven around by others, and don't HAVE to be driven around by others. It's not hard to figure out!

Sorry, but that isn't even NEARLY true. Except for in your personal opinion.

Lily-Rose_3

marleyboy wrote: »

Sorry, but that isn't even NEARLY true.

Yes it is.

For some people anyway. Obviously all the non-drivers in this thread don't ever ask for or expect lifts from ANYone, EVER, (apparently!) But many non-drivers DO expect lifts and DO expect to be driven around, and that is why many drivers get sick of them.


That is what the whole thread is about is it not?!

The whole point was someone was trying to say drivers are as much of a burden as non drivers because they refuse to use anything but a car for public transport, which didn't even make sense! I was pointing out the reasons why a non driver would be more of a burden than a driver, because they cannot drive, so do *sometimes* tend to be a burden if you are having to do all the driving!

You have obviously had no experience of this! Lucky you!