Getting husband to move out

mumof4littleguys

RAS wrote: »

He may well push for full custody but if you describe to the court the life you are currently leading and explain that your depression was a response to the difficulties there, it will count as nought.

Im worried as I have no proof of anything though. It wwould be his word against mine. He is so much smarter than me. More articulate. Im dumb and get my words mixed up and tongue tied.

Mojisola

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

Also, I think he will push for full custody. He has said in the past he would and he would use my depression against me. Im so scared. My boys are my life.

He's bluffing. You said before that the children have told you that when you go to work, he falls asleep on the couch and leaves the children to their own devices.

Is he really going to want to be a single parent with all the work that entails?

charlishae

Seriously move to Norfolk. You can go anywhere you want and you have family there. Its not a million miles away from London anyway and you can still arrange for him to have the boys of course. Fact is you wont be able to afford to live in London anyway.
You really need to look into private renting that accept dss, have you had a search online? You will need a deposit though usually 1 and a half times the monthly rent. Is there anyone who can lend you the money? Do you have access to any money

double_mummy

why not give the local council in norfolk a call and see if they can help at all

be careful with the deposit schemes there is one here but none of the lettings agencies accept them and i dont know of any private landlords who do either

there is nothing that he can do to stop you moving the children as long as you are not leaving the country with them

you are raising boys - do you really want their role model of how to be a man this? do you really want them to grow up thinking this is how you are supposed to treat women? do you want your boys to see that this is an acceptable way to treat their mother? this is not just about how he treats yo tis is also about what you are teaching your little guys by accepting this

kelpie35

I am sorry, but if things are as bad as you say, I am sure that your parents would make room for you at short notice.

Once you are there then go to the local housing department and apply for a house. I am sure it would not take too long to get one if your parents house is so overcrowded.

Your children will not blame you for giving them a happy and secure home.

I know it might sound frightening to you to take this step, but if you carry on as you are doing, then you will not be well enough to look after your children and what will happen to them then?

You are managing to tell us on your posts how you feel, so you have the ability to change this right away.

Again, i will say, pack a few clothes to do you and the kiddies for a few days, lock the door, and get on a bus or train to your parents house. They will keep you and the children safe and you will be surprised how soon you will feel so much better.

Guest101

Without scaring the OP.

1: Atleast wait until the holidays. its never going to look good taking the kids out of school like this
2: if he takes the kids back to london, there's nothing stopping him keeping them there
3: its almost alwasy better to have atleast some agreement.

kelpie35

Guest101 wrote: »

Without scaring the OP.

1: Atleast wait until the holidays. its never going to look good taking the kids out of school like this
2: if he takes the kids back to london, there's nothing stopping him keeping them there
3: its almost alwasy better to have atleast some agreement.

How is that possible if he will not communicate with her.

She is in desperate need of family support and the only way she can achieve this, at the moment , is to go to her parents.

Guest101

kelpie35 wrote: »

How is that possible if he will not communicate with her.

She is in desperate need of family support and the only way she can achieve this, at the moment , is to go to her parents.

But, in fairness, he's saying no. He is communicating, it's just not what the OP wants to hear.

I understand the OP and sympathise. But as much as she has rights, so does he.

I think the OP needs to accept that no matter what, he will be upset. But the level of that i really the key.

mumof4littleguys

I spoke with him tonight and as expected he has refused to leave the house. He now is saying he wants the kids to live with him full time and is going to see a solicitor.
I shouldn't have done this. I should have kept my mouth shut. I would have been free eventually one day. Now I might lose my kids and end up with nothing.
I feel sick and panicky and am crying my eyes out. I never wanted this. I wanted a happy family unit but I couldn't fight anymore. I should have tried harder. I dont know what to do.

HappyMJ

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

I spoke with him tonight and as expected he has refused to leave the house. He now is saying he wants the kids to live with him full time and is going to see a solicitor.
I shouldn't have done this. I should have kept my mouth shut. I would have been free eventually one day. Now I might lose my kids and end up with nothing.
I feel sick and panicky and am crying my eyes out. I never wanted this. I wanted a happy family unit but I couldn't fight anymore. I should have tried harder. I dont know what to do.

You won't lose your kids. You get yourself a solicitor too and let them negotiate the settlement for you. There's very little chance he will get to keep them with him as long as you remain co-operative with social services and tell the truth you should in more than 90% of cases keep them. Think about it he works full time...you don't. He can't look after them and work full time.

As I said before you do not ask someone who is controlling what they think the best course of action is of course they'll say the kids should remain with them. You need to do what's best for you and your children. He is far too controlling...and I'm by the way I am a male myself.