Getting husband to move out

Mojisola

j.e.j. wrote: »

Women's Aid say all manner of things...

"Women's Aid uses the Home Office definition of domestic violence which is:" - it's not WA's definition.

I haven't followed OP's previous threads, but from this thread it looks like he's stubborn and childish. Which is unpleasant, but not abuse!

He is also controlling and keeps the OP short of money and blames her for any problems and generally undermines her confidence.

mumof4littleguys

HappyMJ wrote: »

After reading a bit more. I'd legally separate whilst living under the same roof so you can get benefits for yourself and your children...then I'd save every penny of those benefits until you have the first months rent, the deposit equal to one months rent plus £100 and enough to cover those pesky fees (mine were £432). You'll need more to cover moving costs. I'd apply for credit so you have even more resources available to you....yeah you got to pay it back but we can worry about that later.

You would get housing benefit for your share of the rent...but I would be just as nasty as he is and keep it myself without paying your share. You are jointly and severally liable for the rent. If he fails to pay the rent you can be evicted and he won't want that as the tenancy is too valuable so he will pay it.

I actually looked into this today but im in London and it would take many many years for me to save this kind of money.
I pay the full rent at the moment and am scared to lose my tenancy and have my children homeless.

mumof4littleguys

Mojisola wrote: »

He is also controlling and keeps the OP short of money and blames her for any problems and generally undermines her confidence.

This is true. I can see this now. Finally I can see it.

Guest101

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

I am prepared to do this but unsure where to go. Obviously if I move out, my children will be coming with me. Not to be spiteful but I am certain they are better off with me.

I know you want to do this, obviously and understandably.

If if you are able to, financially etc.

Mojisola

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

I pay the full rent at the moment and am scared to lose my tenancy and have my children homeless.

The children surely take priority for housing. It doesn't really matter what the parents want - the children's needs come first. You are the main carer so the children will be staying with you - there must be some way to secure the property for you and them.

Talk to Shelter or WA or both for advice.

j.e.j.

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

I actually looked into this today but im in London and it would take many many years for me to save this kind of money.
I pay the full rent at the moment and am scared to lose my tenancy and have my children homeless.

London.

Where a flat the size of a rabbit-hutch in even the most run-down area would set you back about a grand a month

HappyMJ

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

I actually looked into this today but im in London and it would take many many years for me to save this kind of money.
I pay the full rent at the moment and am scared to lose my tenancy and have my children homeless.

You said earlier you have no friends or family to help out so how about leaving the city and moving away into a town. Where I am the LHA rent for a 3 bedroom house is £535 a month. There's quite a few properties at £550 a month and even more at £600 a month. with child benefits and tax credit for 4 children you should have more than enough to meet the shortfall. You'd need £600 plus £600+£100 plus £400 for fees (£1,700) to be able to rent it. You'd have to show a well written budget to prove you can pay the rent going forward. The council can help by guaranteeing the deposit if you can't afford to pay that bit up front. There are a few landlords willing to take on cases such as yours but you've got to present yourself and your family in the best possible light.

Guest101

Mojisola wrote: »

The children surely take priority for housing. It doesn't really matter what the parents want - the children's needs come first. You are the main carer so the children will be staying with you - there must be some way to secure the property for you and them.

Talk to Shelter or WA or both for advice.

You're right. But secured tenancies are really sought after, for the exact reason that they are virtually impossible to end.

Guest101

HappyMJ wrote: »

You said earlier you have no friends or family to help out so how about leaving the city and moving away into a town. Where I am the LHA rent for a 3 bedroom house is £535 a month. There's quite a few properties at £550 a month and even more at £600 a month. with child benefits and tax credit for 4 children you should have more than enough to meet the shortfall. You'd need £600 plus £600+£100 plus £400 for fees (£1,700) to be able to rent it. You'd have to show a well written budget to prove you can pay the rent going forward. The council can help by guaranteeing the deposit if you can't afford to pay that bit up front. There are a few landlords willing to take on cases such as yours but you've got to present yourself and your family in the best possible light.

The problem will be gatekeeping. Another council will suggest she is intentionally homeless. The kids would be brought back.
The new council would not consider her to have links to the area.

Fees can be as low as £70, depends on the area.

mumof4littleguys

HappyMJ wrote: »

You said earlier you have no friends or family to help out so how about leaving the city and moving away into a town. Where I am the LHA rent for a 3 bedroom house is £535 a month. There's quite a few properties at £550 a month and even more at £600 a month. with child benefits and tax credit for 4 children you should have more than enough to meet the shortfall. You'd need £600 plus £600+£100 plus £400 for fees (£1,700) to be able to rent it. You'd have to show a well written budget to prove you can pay the rent going forward. The council can help by guaranteeing the deposit if you can't afford to pay that bit up front. There are a few landlords willing to take on cases such as yours but you've got to present yourself and your family in the best possible light.

I desperately want to move to Norfolk whete my family are. I miss them so much and would have so much support up there.
My husband would never allow it though. And it wouldn't really be nice to take the children so far from him.