Getting husband to move out

mumof4littleguys

I was on here a while back asking whether my husband was hiding money from me. Some might remember. I was extremely fragile and some of the comments frightened me off. Pathetic I know for a grown woman!
Anyway there was some sound advice that really helped me and I wondered if I could ask for advice again please?
Things haven't improved in my relationship and after an argument a few nights ago, my husband is now giving me the silent treatment and making life unbearable. He does this regularly until I go to him and apologise and beg for forgiveness. Usually because my anxiety has made me so ill and I want my kids happy so I am prepared to do anything.
But not this time. I have a small fire in my belly. I realise I cannot live like this anymore. Especially when I know I haven't done anything wrong and I dont deserve this.
MY husband and I are joint council tenants. He has aalways said if we break up he wont be leaving. I feel terribly guilty and I would never try to stop him seeingour cchildren but we cant live together.
What can I do? I cant afford to move out and privately rent and have no friends or family to help out. I feel im stuck in this life forever. Please help if you can xx

HappyMJ

The only way you'll get him out is if you hand in your notice on the tenancy. You can't kick him out. It's just as much his tenancy as it is yours but either party on a joint tenancy can terminate the tenancy. You both then leave and start new lives. If you call the council/housing association you may be able to start a new tenancy with just yourself on it maybe even in the same property without you ever actually physically leaving. You would need to speak with the landlord to find out the best way to go forward. They might be able to do a swap with you with another property nearby and not have him on that tenancy.

Guest101

It's a council tenancy. If the OP ends it, she would be intentionally homeless and the council would be unlikely to rehouse.

OP - you guys need mediation.

HappyMJ

Guest101 wrote: »

It's a council tenancy. If the OP ends it, she would be intentionally homeless and the council would be unlikely to rehouse.

OP - you guys need mediation.

I think the OP's given up on that based on the last thread and the time that has passed since. In an abuse case without violence it's the only way to get the abusive partner that refuses to leave the house. He has every right to stay whilst he's on the tenancy. The OP needs to talk to the council/housing association before handing in notice and find the best way forward. They should be able to move her and her children to a new property and re-let this one. It doesn't make any difference to council they are gaining a property and losing a property at the same time.

missbiggles1

From what I remember of the other thread, it sounded as if it would be better for the children to live with their father and stay in their home with him.

mumof4littleguys

missbiggles1 wrote: »

From what I remember of the other thread, it sounded as if it would be better for the children to live with their father and stay in their home with him.

I think you may have me mixed up with someone else. I am confident my children are better off living with me. I do absolutely everything for them. I do all the cooking and cleaning, all the washing, brushing the little ones teeth and dressing them, bath time etc. He only moves on the few evenings I work and he begrudges that and is annoyed I decided to go to work in the first place!
Anyway, the council said he would have to remove himself willingly from the tenancy so looks like I have no options. I will have to stay living like this.
Thankyou anyway to everyone for your help. xx

Pricivius

Did you ask the Council about applying for a separate property in your name? Is this not an option?

HappyMJ

Pricivius wrote: »

Did you ask the Council about applying for a separate property in your name? Is this not an option?

Stupidly...no it isn't an option the OP and children are housed already in sufficient accommodation. They could rehouse the husband in a 1 bedroom flat but he has to want to do it willingly. He's saying he won't move so and they can't force just him out.

mumof4littleguys

Pricivius wrote: »

Did you ask the Council about applying for a separate property in your name? Is this not an option?

Yes but she said they have no other properties and would have no obligation to rehouse me. I really dont know what to do :-(

rebeccatom

Might be worth giving Shelter a call, I am sure they come across this situation frequently and would be able to give you advice on your options.

Pixie5740

If things are really that awful and you have exhausted all other avenues such as relationship counselling through Relate would you consider renting privately?

I know that giving up a secure tenancy isn't an easy decision but if it's the lesser of two evils it is worth exploring. You'd probably need to find a landlord willing to take on a tenant claiming HB (no mean feat) and use the Turn2Us website to figure out how much income you would have if you left.

Alternatively, you could investigate getting an Occupation Order which could prevent your husband from entering the property.