Guys - why did you really leave?

Guest101

justme111 wrote: »

I did not say that. I said "many men specially young ones ". So not sure who are you so passionately and not politely (using words like "ludicrous, silly etc) arguing with.
I did not say the poster I referred to was bad a sex with that woman. I said that would been a reasonable most straightforward guess. I did not say my statement ("many men are bad at sex specially young") was truth either. I just pointed out that generalisations are not necessarily not truth.

I did not imply sex life would have been the posters' responsibility only either. As you rightly say it takes two to tango. I just pointed a very likely reason of her withdrawal to a man. Your reaction illustrates perfectly why most women keep quiet if something does not go that well - disagreeing , using derogatory adjectives, offensive remarks (shagged every man on the planet ) , blaming a woman back referring ro her in derogatory manner ( laying like a slab ) etc.

What a strange post.

On behalf of all men, I'm sorry the examples you've experienced have failed to shake your pillars.

Might I suggest you tell any future challengers what you want, as often it's not crap, just not what you want.

[Deleted User]

[QUOTE=zagfles;68614074 I know some men who I'm convinced have left their young families because they simply weren't ready for becoming a father, and the massive change in life that brings. They either don't think about or understand the consequences of having children, or were nagged into it by their wife/partner and gave in. Rather than making a positive decision for themselves.
[/QUOTE]



Well that seems to be my experience, but looking back now after nearly 3 years, decisions he has made since then have been more about what suits him rather than what is best for the children.


Some men really want kids and want to be a father and part of a family.
Some don't and prefer to have their own lives and decisions.


The problems start when these two lines start to blur.

SanguineSteve

catkins wrote: »

I've known a few men who have not been keen to have children or have been undecided but their partner has become pregnant (often supposedly accidentally) and I think in almost every case the guy ended the marriage/relationship.

I will counter that with all the chaps i know who have been in that boat have done the decent thing and committed. But, as this thread testifies, how long that lasts is anyone's guess.

System

My biological dad left, well because my mum had an affair. She admits this was the wrong thing to do, but she knew if she tried to divorce him on the terms of his unreasonable behaviour he would have denied it and dragged it out, and she didn't want to go through 5 years or however long it is of waiting. She did it to get out of a very very unhappy marriage and felt it was the only option.

Now whilst I find cheating abhorrant, knowing my dad I 100% understand why she did it and I'm glad she did. My earliest mEmory, from about age 2, is of my parents arguing. If they'd stayed together it would have been a million times worse for me.

I actually found out about the affair when I was about 13 and my nan on his side told me my mother was a !!!!! and had cheated on my dad. I remember feeling. Upset and talking to my mum and she explained what had happened, looking back im angry at my nan for forcingy m to explain to a 13 year old stuff that I really didn't need to know.

As it happens I now have nothing to do with my bio dad, ive not seen or spoke to him in over 10 years. When he and my first step mum divorced (on grounds of HIS unreasonable behaviour) I remmber being in ten room with my dad, aunty and grandparents and them all slagging off my step mum, I realised then that this is exactly what my mum would have had to have gone through if she didn't do what she did. And then of course they started slagging off my mum for good measure.

Basically he was a nasty piece of work, but he left cos in the end my mum kind of forced the situation. I'm better off without him in my life.

puregeordie

Honestly, here's the just of it..

We had kids at a young age, got married as I thought it was the right and next thing to do. We were married at a young age as well at 19.

over the five years I realised that I wasn't really happy just about life in general, as we never had time to ourselves.

One day I went out with my mates and met a woman and basically fell in love. You just know when it happens. I never had this feeling with my wife as I hadn't experienced this feeling before.

One thing led to another and an affair began.

Then one day I went home said I'm not happy, took my computer and some bin bags full of clothes and left.

I found it easy and didn't seems to care about my wife and kids and just thought about myself.

Sounds wicked and awful I know but love is weird and does strange things to your head.

So bottom line is I fell in love with what I thought was the right person.

then after 5 years of dicking about I am now settled and never looked back after 16 years.;)
good luck peeps..

NICHOLAS_2

Well i left because she had stretch marks and they were mingin, but she was good in bed, better than her cousin was.

justme111

Guest101 wrote: »

What a strange post.

On behalf of all men, I'm sorry the examples you've experienced have failed to shake your pillars.

Might I suggest you tell any future challengers what you want, as often it's not crap, just not what you want.

thank you for your concern . Not sure how we went from me making a remark that if gonzo's wife did not want sex she probably did not like it and statement that many are not good at it to advices on my own sexual life and commiserations.

FBaby

2. I thought I was happy, but I realised just how controlling she was. I had a list of orders every day and if I didn't do things exactly the way she demanded, she'd shout at me, run off upstairs and slam the door in my face. I was just there for her to set someone up to fail so she could make them feel bad.

I think this one sums up what was posted earlier. I have seen a number of girlfriends loving to treat her new boyfriend, preparing lovely meals, buying little present, re-sorting his flat, ironing his shirts etc... to turn into the woman discribed above once she'd won him!

I did not say the poster I referred to was bad a sex with that woman. I said that would been a reasonable most straightforward guess.

Even if that was the case, if she was committed to the marriage and respectful to her husband, she would have suggested they found ways to work together to make it better for her. The fact that during all these years and her husband desperate cries for help to do something about it, she kept quiet and just ignored the issue. This was never going to have a positive outcome.

FreddieFrugal

puregeordie wrote: »

I found it easy and didn't seems to care about my wife and kids and just thought about myself.


then after 5 years of dicking about I am now settled and never looked back after 16 years.;)

Do you see your children from that first marriage?

justme111

FBaby wrote: »

Even if that was the case, if she was committed to the marriage and respectful to her husband, she would have suggested they found ways to work together to make it better for her. The fact that during all these years and her husband desperate cries for help to do something about it, she kept quiet and just ignored the issue. This was never going to have a positive outcome.

I am not talking about what should she had done. I am just pointing out a likely reason for what has happened.