Middle child as an adult, choosing a maid of honour

onlyroz

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I've never heard of a Maid of Honour role. AFAIK, bridesmaids are supposed to be unmarried and a married bridesmaid is Matron of Honour.

Just goes to show what I know about traditional weddings...

missbiggles1

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Oh yeah, of course! I guess I'm just that used to being in weddings or going to weddings where the majority of the bridesmaids are married.

And it's been many a long year since bridesmaids have been "maids " in the really traditional sense.;)

missbiggles1

onlyroz wrote: »

Just goes to show what I know about traditional weddings...

Or what I know about modern ones.....

Torry_Quine

I've never heard of a maid of honour only a matron of honour which means someone who is married as bridesmaids were traditionally unmarrried.

It's up to you entirely who and how many people you have but if it's a small wedding don't have too many.

Really pleased though to hear that things are going well, it seems no time at all since you were waiting on the transplant list. :A

GobbledyGook

I honestly would just have both your sisters and your friend. Is it really worth the fall out and risk of your nieces and nephews not being there to make a point?

Also letting your older sister being MOH would give her nothing to be annoying about, she can have a different dress to the others so she can't even be difficult about that without looking ridiculous and since the Disney wedding planner (which you now have, even if there isn't one....) is sorting *everything* she will be a MOH with no duties other than to turn up and smile just because that's the way Disney do weddings...

Plus in many ways it'll probably completely wrong foot her as she might be expecting you to say no...

I guess it depends what you want more - nieces and nephews there or sister not as MOH/BM. it's not a fair choice, but it's the one you have.

Savvy_Sue

It is possible to get married without any bridesmaids, best men, flower girls, page boys, maids or matrons of honour.

Bride, groom, ring, officiant, witnesses. Guests are optional.

My mother thought I was very unkind not to have even my little sis as a bridesmaid, "because she's never been one." Well neither had I, but tough. And I didn't throw a hissy fit when she didn't ask me to be her matron of honour when she did marry.

PuzzledDave

My own wedding was very modest, so many of these titles are somewhat of a mystery to me in their importance. Perhaps the problem could be solved by just inventing new titles and spreading them far and wide?

Maid of Delicious Alcohol
Maid of Tasty Treats
Chairperson of Outstanding Fashion
High priestess of Swing

Feel free to add other double entendres or old in-joke titles. Someone doesn't like their title ? Make up a new one with them.

Might just be my ignorance in these affairs but it seems you are being beaten up over something you have full control over and can be bent and reshaped to whatever fits your own circumstance.

onomatopoeia99

OP, I think you should elope and avoid all the drama entirely. Then send out an email introducing yourself as "Mrs <whatever his name is>" and announcing a big post-wedding party.

The reason I say I'll never marry is not because I wouldn't want to be married to the right person, it's because I don't want A Wedding (deliberate capitals), and what you describe sounds like A Wedding. Even 40 guests would still be way too many, for me at least.

Anyway, it's your wedding, pick who you want and if anyone complains, remind them who is getting married.

duchy

Your family sound like mine (I'm Jewish on one side and Catholic on the other -everyone is very opinionated )

Disney do fab small weddings but as you are having a small wedding you can say MOH isn't needed and have both sisters as bridesmaids and neither of them have "seniority".

You are already breaking with tradition - so break a few more traditions. A parent on each side can sign the register (actually in the US I'm not even sure anyone else signs anyway).

Your small overseas wedding gives you every excuse to change the rules - so break the ones you want to !

Out,_Vile_Jelly

One of the best weddings I've been to was small and fuss-free. No bridesmaids or flower girls. Minimal speeches. No disco, just booze and chatting at the tables. The bride had been married before with a big fat in yoru face wedding and had obviously realised how little of that was actually important the second time around. I'm an old friend of the groom and signed the register; that definitely didn't make me a Maid of Honour!

I honestly don't think you should start pandering to a grown woman who is making such a fuss about this. Even if you do make her MoH she will find a reason to complain ie the dress is deliberately unflattering, she's not in enough photos etc. Bridesmaids are supposed to be helpful and supportive, not making your day more stressful.