Middle child as an adult, choosing a maid of honour

balletshoes

GlasweJen wrote: »

USA, Paris is too close lol!

Both sisters would be invited but I can't justify having 3 bridesmaids - it's a small wedding! My big sister is married with 3 children, on the wrong side of 35 and really should be over this whole "being in a wedding" thingby now. In addition to not actually asking me to be in her wedding (and complaining that I was) and then converting my nieces to a strange religion just to get them into a school and not even inviting me. I literally found out the week before by which point I couldn't get time off work. I don't feel like a big part of her life, we see each other when summoned to my mums at the same time.

so don't have any bridesmaids/attendants, just invite your nearest and dearest 40 to the wedding, have your parents witness, done. Less stress, less arguments, and the guests (and you) can have a more informal fun time.

happyandcontented

Why can't you justify having 3 bridesmaids? It is just a case of another dress....Much ado about nothing, seems like you have an axe to grind and are exacting your revenge.

Your call, but down the line you may just wish you had gone with the flow, bought another dress, and had everyone happy. I bet your mum wishes you would just sort it.

GlasweJen

I like this idea.

I did suggest a compromise at the wedding where one could witness the issuing of the marriage licence and the other could witness the marriage but big sister turned her nose up at this.

I think I'm just going to say to mum that I tried to meet her half way and she didn't want any of it so she's getting nothing. If she does throw a strop I'm sure my mum will bring the kids over.

happyandcontented

GlasweJen wrote: »

I like this idea.

I did suggest a compromise at the wedding where one could witness the issuing of the marriage licence and the other could witness the marriage but big sister turned her nose up at this.

I think I'm just going to say to mum that I tried to meet her half way and she didn't want any of it so she's getting nothing. If she does throw a strop I'm sure my mum will bring the kids over.

Your sister may not allow it. Honestly, why would you not just compromise?

missbiggles1

onlyroz wrote: »

Not that I know much about wedding traditions, but isn't the Maid of Honour meant to be unmarried?

If it was me I wouldn't go in for any of this nonsense. Why say "Person X is the Maid of Honor" and "Persons Y and Z are bridesmaids". Why not just say "My wedding will be at location A, please come along". No need to give anybody a specific job at all. As for witnesses to sign the register, pick your best mate, and your partner picks his best mate. Simples.

I've never heard of a Maid of Honour role. AFAIK, bridesmaids are supposed to be unmarried and a married bridesmaid is Matron of Honour.

Georgiegirl256

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I've never heard of a Maid of Honour role. AFAIK, bridesmaids are supposed to be unmarried and a married bridesmaid is Matron of Honour.

Maid of honour is just a chief bridesmaid, like a matron of honour but unmarried. I've never heard about bridesmaids supposed to be unmarried though. I guess it really doesn't matter nowadays and anything goes.

Georgiegirl256

It seems like you've really got an axe to grind with your sister OP, and are making a big do about nothing. You say she is stubborn, it seems from reading the above that you are just as bad and are trying to prove a point. How hard would it be just to have one extra bridesmaid. Surely it would be simpler instead of causing unneccessary agro?

Buzzybee90

I do think you're being quite harsh to her seeings as she's willing to take herself and her family half way around the world for you.

3 is a standard number of bridesmaids.

missbiggles1

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Maid of honour is just a chief bridesmaid, like a matron of honour but unmarried. I've never heard about bridesmaids supposed to be unmarried though. I guess it really doesn't matter nowadays and anything goes.

I'm sure it doesn't matter these days but the clue is in the word "maid" from a traditional perspective.

Georgiegirl256

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm sure it doesn't matter these days but the clue is in the word "maid" from a traditional perspective.

Oh yeah, of course! I guess I'm just that used to being in weddings or going to weddings where the majority of the bridesmaids are married.