Middle child as an adult, choosing a maid of honour

meritaten

its YOUR wedding and you have who YOU want!

Pollycat

Lordy! Lordy!
Your wedding, your choice.
Surely?

Not only do we have bridezillas & groomzillas on this board, we have maid-of-honour-zillas. :rotfl:

balletshoes

I would go with having both your sisters as bridesmaids if its a big wedding, and your best friend as your MOH, saves you having to choose between your sisters and should help keep the peace among your family.

If you really don't mind it all blowing up, do what you want and don't have your older sister in your wedding at all, and your younger sister as your MOH.

I thought weddings abroad were supposed to alleviate this kind of stuff, clearly not!

bagpussbear

I'm a bit confused as to what you want OP, sorry!

You say "At my wedding I want her to look after her own kids so don't want to give her any responsibilities at all" but then say "I don't want her in my wedding at all".

Equally "My big sisters kids are a handful" but then "I can see my sister throwing a huge strop and not allowing her kids to come to my wedding even though they mean the world to me".

What is it that you want - for your sister to attend, with kids, but not have any role? Or prefer not to invite her at all?

Sorry if I am misunderstanding anything!

GlasweJen

I'd like her to come and look after her kids, who will have a role in the wedding.

Sorry for the misunderstanding it's my 2 sisters who had big weddings (200+ guests). I'm getting married abroad and we are only planning a maximum 40 guests as our families are so imbalanced.

bagpussbear

GlasweJen wrote: »

I'd like her to come and look after her kids, who will have a role in the wedding.

Sorry for the misunderstanding it's my 2 sisters who had big weddings (200+ guests). I'm getting married abroad and we are only planning a maximum 40 guests as our families are so imbalanced.

Thanks for clarifying

I think she won't be happy if you don't have her as Maid of Honour - however this is your wedding, your special day, and it shouldn't be about keeping her happy.

Do what you want, not what you feel you should do to please others. Just say you want to keep things smaller and simpler, and hope she doesn't kick off too much and lets her kids have the role you'd like them to play.

Tropez

Personally, I'd just go with younger sister, since you actually like her.

But since it does seem more complicated than that, and since I'm in a generous mood, I'll don a wig and a frock and be the Maid of Honour for you, then neither of them can be Maid of Honour, and will presumably take it out on each other, rather than you, when the world's worst drag act rocks up. It'd be a bit like that Bible story, without the infanticide aspect.

I will expect my expenses for travelling to your wedding to be catered for.

And if for some strange reason this doesn't sound like a good idea, for fifty quid (plus expenses) I am happy to be appointed independent Maid-of-Honour-pickerer and choose the Maid of Honour through a fair and impartial process (just write on a piece of paper the one you want and slip it to me when no one is looking).

As none of you have met me before, nobody can argue. The first option is clearly better though.

silvercar

I think you have to invite your sister.

As you are getting married abroad, is there a chance that your older sister won't be able or willing to pay for flights and accommodation for her family?

themull1

I thought that if they are married it is matron of honour, that aside, dont have any, if its a small wedding have one bridesmaid - a friend maybe and leave it at that.

Nicki

Could she do something as part of the service which would be hard if she were a MOH or bridesmaid but wouldn't mean she had responsibilities for the rest of the day. Sing or do a reading? Or be one of the witnesses to signing the register.