I don't want children - Am I selfish?

dirty_magic

Why does everyone assume that older people without children are lonely? Having children isn't a guarantee that you won't be lonely. I know so many people who have moved away from their parents and very rarely see them.

I know older people who did have children that now don't see much of them for one reason or another and they're not lonely. I think if you find yourself alone when you're getting older you tend to have a busier social life.

Jagraf

Catapa wrote: »

We live in a free society, it is your choice and if you don't like children it is probably better for them not to be raised by you.

Hope you'll not rely on other people's children to care for you and fund your old age benefits.

Fund your old age benefits? There won't be any by the time all the child benefit has been dished out. And what about hen all those children get old?

Old_Git

WorkFromHome wrote: »

I'm 30 nearly 31 and I've never wanted kids, I have no feelings towards babies, I don't coo over them. I don't want to be a mother. I think that women who adore children are the ones who should be having them. So why don't women respect my choice when I say I don't want children? I've discussed it with my OH and although he initially wanted kids he has said he would rather be with me and childless than with another woman which I appreciate. If he had desperatly wanted kids I would have asked him to move on without me as it wouldn't have been fair on him. We both love animals and hope to have a dog one day when we have the time and can afford to care for one.

Am I alone here?

if your mother thought like you, well you wouldn't be here

Jagraf

dirty_magic wrote: »

Why does everyone assume that older people without children are lonely? Having children isn't a guarantee that you won't be lonely. I know so many people who have moved away from their parents and very rarely see them.

I know older people who did have children that now don't see much of them for one reason or another and they're not lonely. I think if you find yourself alone when you're getting older you tend to have a busier social life.

agreed. In fact I know of people who happily dump their friends to assist their kids. Then their kids move abroad.

Jagraf

Old_Git wrote: »

if your mother thought like you, well you wouldn't be here

Crickey you don't miss a trick

WorkFromHome

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Has she actually said that she doesn't like children?

Thanks that's another one of those childless cliches - if I don't want children it must mean I hate them. I think some are adorable and others a pain in the !!!!. I'm sure if I had children I would love them dearly but motherhood is just not for me. I've always known this, it's hard to explain to some people x

System

I don't want children - Am I selfish?

No more than having children because you want them.

dirty_magic

WorkFromHome wrote: »

Thanks that's another one of those childless cliches - if I don't want children it must mean I hate them. I think some are adorable and others a pain in the !!!!. I'm sure if I had children I would love them dearly but motherhood is just not for me. I've always known this, it's hard to explain to some people x

It's the taking over your whole life part that really puts me off and the need for constant attention. I love going to see my nephews and my friend's kids, but it really does completely take over your life and I don't think I'd have the patience to play with my own kids constantly and answer 200 questions per hour!

I don't understand why people would choose to have kids so they don't have to work, it has to be harder to bring up kids than work 9-5!

fairy_lights

Catapa wrote: »

We live in a free society, it is your choice and if you don't like children it is probably better for them not to be raised by you.

Not wanting children and not liking children are completely separate things you know.
Some people love kids but don't want any of their own, and some people don't really like children in general but still want and love their own.

fierystormcloud

Hell to the no! It's not selfish to not want kids, and I think it's becoming more socially acceptable now.

I know some people who don't want them (like me) but still like them (I LOVE my nieces and nephews, ) but some people just don't want them themselves. I am early 30s, maybe I'll change my mind, not sure.

I disagree with the poster who said people who remain single and childless are the happiest though. How do you explain the multiple millions of people who are desperately seeking partners on various contact sites? I have spent several years single, and hated it to be honest.

Although I do agree with the person who said that just because you have children, that doesn't mean necessarily that you will not be lonely. HOWEVER, most of the older people I know who had kids (and now have grandkids) are much less lonely than the older people who never had them.

If I never have them, I do have my 4 sisters and all my nieces and nephews. (And all THEIR kids!)