I don't want children - Am I selfish?

Catapa

We live in a free society, it is your choice and if you don't like children it is probably better for them not to be raised by you.

Hope you'll not rely on other people's children to care for you and fund your old age benefits.

-taff

Piggywiggy wrote: »

I don't even have children you have taken my comment the wrong way, what I am trying to say is that when people have children they expect everyone else to want them to and struggle to understand you might not want them yourself hence the 'when are you having one?' Question which I myself have been experiencing all too often lately.

Ahhh.........

amistupid

WorkFromHome wrote: »

It seems to me that you were jealous of your sibling for many years because of his choices and are assuming that now he is older and childless he will be unhappy because you are happy. That's a little bit unfair on him is it not?

I've admitted early envy

When my kids were at school, I was quite envious of my brother and his wife; because they had no children, they seemed to have a lot more freedom and much more disposable income.

and

I'm sure my brother and his wife are still happy with the decision they made but I can't help feeling that old age will be a little more lonely for them.

I haven't inferred he'll be less happy only that he may be more lonely.

WorkFromHome wrote: »

Also don't assume that because I want a dog and not a child that I will treat her/him as human. If I don't want a child then why would I want a substitute?

I feel my assumption was fair as you mentioned getting a dog in the same post as you mentioned your wish to be childless.

-taff

Catapa wrote: »

Hope you'll not rely on other people's children to care for you and fund your old age benefits.

Stupid argument.
I could equally say I want my taxes not to pay for your child benefit?

cottyh24

I could have written your post. I'm 38 and I've never wanted kids or been anything close to maternal. My husband would have had kids but said the same as yours, he'd rather be with me and not have kids. It worried me for a long time that he'd resent me for making him choose but he's happy with his choice. His sister has a child so he has the best of both worlds, he can spend time with them as the cool uncle but can come home to a nice quiet house. I don't think you're selfish at all. It's more selfish to have a child you don't want, and may resent, just because other people expect you to.

suki1964

I never ever ever wanted children

When I met my to be husband I told him out right I think at the time he didn't believe me but he's stood by my decision.

25 years down the line we do sometimes talk about what could have been. He says I'd have been a great mum, and I agree to a certain extent

But we both agree I'm a great grandmother ( his kids) and a brill aunt. Plus neither of us have had to compromise

Be glad that you know for sure. We aren't all cut out to be mums. My life is no less because I was never a mum

Gloomendoom

Catapa wrote: »

We live in a free society, it is your choice and if you don't like children it is probably better for them not to be raised by you.

Has she actually said that she doesn't like children?

Hope you'll not rely on other people's children to care for you and fund your old age benefits.

Why shouldn't she? She's paying to fund today's pensioners' benefits.

Gloomendoom

amistupid wrote: »

I haven't inferred he'll be less happy only that he may be more lonely.

I don't think I've ever met anybody who is happy to be lonely.

amistupid

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I don't think I've ever met anybody who is happy to be lonely.

There are people who chose to be childless and live without a partner, they're probably the happiest of all.

chiefie

My first wife didn't want children and that led to us divorcing, amicably. She loved her hols, cars and freedom and I respect that. She never did have kids with her second hubby and that works for her. Nothing selfish in it, in fact being open and honest is the absolute best thing in a relationship. Enjoy, it's your life and you only get one go at it :-)