Are we being mean ?

Errata

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

btw is having a family meal beforehand the next bloody americanism that people are going to insist upon?

Wouldn't work for my lot, they like to go down the pub and get tanked. Although some of the weirder ones might insist on crisps and pork scratchings

gettingtheresometime

j.e.j. wrote: »

Never heard of this myself. Sounds like The Last Supper :rotfl:

Is it what they call a rehearsal dinner?

fairy_lights

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Is it what they call a rehearsal dinner?

I've never really understood why people have wedding rehearsals - you're getting married not putting on a play! (Although it would be pretty entertaining if the couple getting hitched put on a two man production of hamlet instead of traditional vows)

liney

Your BIL is taking the micky - price per person, but you might not all get a bed?!


I'd probably drive for the first night as i have 'an appointment' to keep first thing in the morning, then get a taxi home because 'there probably won't be any rooms left for me for just Saturday... Oh just one room? Not enough space for us four then, never mind...'

sidefx

Mrs_Optimist wrote: »

I can only relay what bil said - he has hired the whole venue for the weekend as he wanted everyone to stay. If you stayed fri night you would get priority for sat night. The cost was worked out by dividing it by number of rooms and then number of guests so per person, per night. Whether venue is aware of this I don't know. We are aware that family rooms were limited because they were larger and bridal party needed to extra space so we may have to cram into a double room.

It is impossible to add every bit of detail to an op as it's impossible to know what some people deem to be relevant or not - so the conspiracy theorists are way off the mark and are adding nothing of interest to the discussion and are simply trying to sidetrack my thread.


My bil is not a bad person, neither are we - I am happy after posting my initial op that dh & I are not being unreasonable - we will be there to celebrate all day, do not plan to leave until the end and our presence will only be absent once people are in bed !

Stick to your guns OP.

You have every right and are totally justified in coming to the decision you have.

Enjoy the wedding:)

Tigsteroonie

Mrs_Optimist wrote: »

The cost was worked out by dividing it by number of rooms and then number of guests so per person, per night.

Bit of a presumption there that you would all agree to stay :rotfl:

melanzana

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

When we had to travel north for the wedding of OH's cousin we stayed in a cheaper hotel the night before and then checked into the hotel where the ceremony was on the day.

Nobody minded or said anything.

btw is having a family meal beforehand the next bloody americanism that people are going to insist upon?

Re the staying in the Wedding Hotel, well nowadays because there is often a pre Wedding Dinner for family, and then the Wedding, the hotels sometimes insist on a minimum two night stay for the wedding party anyway.

I actually like the idea of a pre wedding dinner for close family. Often the family don't really get to see much of each other on the day itself.

But you are correct, it is an American thing.

I was at a US wedding a few years ago. It was posh, in the Hamptons in NY.

Big dinner the night before. Mucho alco too. It was better than the flippin Wedding if you ask me.

No one dressed up much for the wedding though. We did, and felt like idiots. Not for long though, because... Free drinks reception before the meal. Everyone was soxxled. Then the dinner. The good thing was that the speeches were made before the dinner. Then the dancing started, my god, it was out of here. Dancing dancing dancing.

And then it was over. 10.30pm. Go!

Cost a few bob, but we got to NY aswell for a few days, which we had planned to do that year anyway. Great to see life in the Hamptons too. That is something I won't get back ever!

Randomjargon

Luckily oven ever cared what my family thinks. We do what we want

sidefx

JIL wrote: »

My bil is also getting married about 20 miles away from where we live and he is also expecting us to stay two nights and I'm not at all looking forward to it. I think I would rather run the London marathon backwards.
I don't drink so I can easily drive us home, it really won't bother me. But its not just the pressure from the bil, the in-laws just expect us to also stay.
Really don't think we will get out of it without causing big family arguments so will make the best of it.
.

Then you should go home.

I can not understand why anyone would enforce such demands on family. Surely that you are there for the wedding etc is enough. I know my immediate family would just accept that fact and be glad I was there for the 'important' bits.

Sorry but more fool you if you feel obliged to do what they ask. That isn't what family is about. Respect, care and love for each other is far more important than spending money you don't have in order 'not to rock the boat'!

onlyroz

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

btw is having a family meal beforehand the next bloody americanism that people are going to insist upon?

What happened to the whole tradition of not seeing each other the day before the wedding?