Here we can all be heard for a little while

Flybaby

big squish Calley - I know the feeling well.
Blood related family members are supposed to love and care for you and enhance your life, as you enhance theirs - not patronise, diminish, insult and pick on you - there are plenty of rude strangers in the world who can do that for you.
If you don't call him - what effect will that have on your life? Will you miss him? Will you miss his input? Will he call you? What would happen to your relationship with him? Might be worth thinking about.

calleyw

Flybaby wrote: »

big squish Calley - I know the feeling well.
Blood related family members are supposed to love and care for you and enhance your life, as you enhance theirs - not patronise, diminish, insult and pick on you - there are plenty of rude strangers in the world who can do that for you.
If you don't call him - what effect will that have on your life? Will you miss him? Will you miss his input? Will he call you? What would happen to your relationship with him? Might be worth thinking about.

I called to talk to my mum but he answered the phone.

I can go weeks with out talking to them. And they don't seem concerned about it. He Only seem to call me when he want something.

I rarely ask for help from him as he can never seem to give me the time of day. And he will go off and do stuff for other people. And I get left to struggle and that does hurt.

Yours

Calley

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, Calley I'm sorry that happened. He does sound rather insensitive to you. Frankly he is missing out on really knowing a very loving and caring person, it is his loss because we all can see here what a lovely person you are. Have a hug.

Flybaby

Do you get on ok with your mum or is there similar problem there as well?

calleyw

Flybaby wrote: »

Do you get on ok with your mum or is there similar problem there as well?

I get on with my mum. But she never goes on about me being fat or anything.

But if I don't call its rare to hear from them.


Yours

Calley

Flybaby

ok, well I strongly believe that you should have a separate relationship with each parent. I come from divorced parents, so that is what I am used to, but I think it is difficult for those whose parents have always been together to see it that way. Put your efforts, time and energy into your relationship with your mum. Arrange to do something with her, not both of them. Change the dynamic by changing the approach you take to your mum and your dad - separate entities, not "parental" unit. Maybe they will respond differently if you take a different approach?

whitewing

Saw this and thought of you Greggs people on the thread:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jul/24/love-letter-greggs-jake-gyllenhaal

calleyw

Flybaby wrote: »

ok, well I strongly believe that you should have a separate relationship with each parent. I come from divorced parents, so that is what I am used to, but I think it is difficult for those whose parents have always been together to see it that way. Put your efforts, time and energy into your relationship with your mum. Arrange to do something with her, not both of them. Change the dynamic by changing the approach you take to your mum and your dad - separate entities, not "parental" unit. Maybe they will respond differently if you take a different approach?

My dad is very like his own dad. When I go out with my mum its often just to go and look around the shops.

And he will make a sarky remark about that. Oh why do you want to do that. He forgets that my mum spends most of her days at home. Before my older brother moved back home she would spend most of the day on her own. While he is off here there and every where.

Mind you I know he said he never liked any of my boyfriends. And that included my husband. Oh well I married him LOL!!!

My mum does not drive so had to rely on buses or him taking her to appointments and places. And its like she has to ask permission to go and do stuff.

And he says stuff like I keep a roof over your head etc and makes out like its a joke. And she has cooked him meals, cleaned and brought me and 2 brothers up for him for the last 48 yrs. So he can be a farmer and she stayed at home.

That probably why I rebelled at not marrying a farmer and not having someone who tries to control me.

Yours

Calley

Pyxis

Talking of Greggs' people, where is MessedUp?

I know she's been very worried and feeling carp.


It's been ages since she last posted. I hope she's ok and that her worries have come to naught.

If you're hovering, MessedUp, we're rooting for you. Pop into the fort for a bit.

Here's a (((((((((((hug))))))))))) to be going on with, and our new
~~~~~~squish~~~~~~ technique, courtesy of Flybaby!





Also, LostInRates, how are you doing? And the menagerie?
((((((((((LIR)))))))))))

Or,you might prefer a ~~~~~squish~~~~~~

calleyw

Pyxis wrote: »

Talking of Greggs' people, where is MessedUp?

I know she's been very worried and feeling carp.

I did think that straight away too.

I have been thinking about her. And miss her as she is such a lovely person and she is mad on hello kitty which makes me smile.

I do hope she is ok. She does have her BF who seems like a rock.

So even if you are not ready to post MU we are thinking about you.

Ready with hugs, handshakes, squishes and a duvet fort.

Yours

Calley