Did you live with your husband/wife before marriage?

Buzzybee90

onlyroz wrote: »

I think you'll have to explain in more detail how that works. Are you taking about telepathy, or something?

It's quite simple really, you have discussed marriage. But have other deciding factors in the way, I dunno like money, or age, or education.

I don't believe anyone to be engaged until they've officially asked or been asked. Surely lots of people have conversations about marriage early on in relationships.

bamgbost

we actually kinda did it the old fashioned way.

We stay over @ each others. But didn't fully move in til after marriage.
This was probably partly more to do with cultural and religious reasons tho!

we were definitely 'odd' for doing it our way. But hey-ho!

missbiggles1

bamgbost wrote: »

we actually kinda did it the old fashioned way.

We stay over @ each others. But didn't fully move in til after marriage.
This was probably partly more to do with cultural and religious reasons tho!

we were definitely 'odd' for doing it our way. But hey-ho!

Not that old fashioned!

onlyroz

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I don't believe anyone to be engaged until they've officially asked or been asked. Surely lots of people have conversations about marriage early on in relationships.

Of course you're not engaged until you have formally agreed to marry, and half-hearted discussions along the line of "shall we marry one day?" don't count.

But some people here are suggesting that you can get married without ever having gone through the engagement phase. Even if that phase only lasts for the few weeks required to arrange a wedding you're still classed as being "engaged" during this period, and it's just a bit silly to suggest otherwise.

Buzzybee90

onlyroz wrote: »

Of course you're not engaged until you have formally agreed to marry, and half-hearted discussions along the line of "shall we marry one day?" don't count.

But some people here are suggesting that you can get married without ever having gone through the engagement phase. Even if that phase only lasts for the few weeks required to arrange a wedding you're still classed as being "engaged" during this period, and it's just a bit silly to suggest otherwise.

But that's exactly what TQ is saying (part 1). I know many couples that have plans to marry when they graduate, or as soon as they've bought a house, or *insert other reason*, but none of them are engaged formally.

Georgiegirl256

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

But that's exactly what TQ is saying (part 1). I know many couples that have plans to marry when they graduate, or as soon as they've bought a house, or *insert other reason*, but none of them are engaged formally.

That's because they're not. I don't get your point? :huh:

Buzzybee90

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

That's because they're not. I don't get your point? :huh:

The whole point is TQ was saying if someone has plans to marry then they are engaged, even if they're not 'formally engaged'.

Torry_Quine

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

But that's exactly what TQ is saying (part 1). I know many couples that have plans to marry when they graduate, or as soon as they've bought a house, or *insert other reason*, but none of them are engaged formally.

There is no such thing as being engaged formally though, it is an agreement between two people.

Georgiegirl256

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

The whole point is TQ was saying if someone has plans to marry then they are engaged, even if they're not 'formally engaged'.

They are technically. To some it means something, to others it's just terminology. Your examples are totally different though. If a couple have decided to marry and book their wedding, then technically they are engaged. They might not want to call it that, as there's little point if the wedding is shortly after, and some might not even have an engagement ring, so I can see BarryBlues point about not calling themselves engaged because in a way, they are virtually skipping that stage.

Your example though is of two people saying "yeah, we'll probably get married one day", but with no real plans in place. In that example, no, they are not engaged.

Gloomendoom

Torry_Quine wrote: »

There is no such thing as being engaged formally though, it is an agreement between two people.

That depends on your background.

Have you ever heard of the Rites of Betrothal?