Did you live with your husband/wife before marriage?

Brighton_belle

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I suppose it could also be used do demonstrate that somebody is "taken". Like an occupied toilet cubical.

LOL, beautiful analogy.

Marisco

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Being engaged is the technical term for the bit between deciding to get married and getting married - in our case, 10 weeks. It isn't really intended (IMO) to be some strung out length of time with some unspecified end and a status in its own right.


Something I can never understand is when a couple plan to 'get engaged' on 'x' date, not realising if they have therefore definitely decide to marry each other, they already are.

In that case then, I was "engaged" for 16 days! That was the time we had to leave between going to first see the registrar, and actually getting married. Once we decided there was no point hanging about, we'd lived happily together for 20 years, it was purely about the legalities for us.

onlyroz

I think that some people (mainly men) think that if they agree to an engagement then their partner will stay off their backs for a while, and never intend to follow through with the actual marriage. I never understood this myself - you either want to get married or you don't, and what's the point in dragging it out if you do.

System

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I suppose it could also be used do demonstrate that somebody is "taken". Like an occupied toilet cubical.

I have to admit that's how i've always thought of it :rotfl:

esmy

We met in 1982, now in our mid 50s, and still 'live together', although that doesn't adequately describe our relationship at all. Never had any plans to marry and can't envisage what would make us do so, but neither of us regard our relationship as any less committed because of that.

missbiggles1

onlyroz wrote: »

I think that some people (mainly men) think that if they agree to an engagement then their partner will stay off their backs for a while, and never intend to follow through with the actual marriage. I never understood this myself - you either want to get married or you don't, and what's the point in dragging it out if you do.

Got it in one!

BarryBlue

Torry_Quine wrote: »

What makes me :mad: is when someone says marriage and living together aren't equivalent they are told that of course they are but you yourself has said that it isn't always the same.

Of course you were engaged as soon as you decided to marry, even if you never used those words. What else does being engaged mean?

I have never judged you or said I'm better than you.

I still don't see why other people's private business would make you mad. Unless, of course, you are among those who would like to tell other people how they should live their lives. You do like to suggest that somehow being married is "superior" to living together. This is nonsense. As I have said, you can be committed or uncommitted in either situation.


I repeat, engagement is not an official status and we never considered the idea. It means nothing. Again, it smacks of telling other people what they should do. Even when we had been to the register office and booked the date, we did not consider our status to be engaged. You are not in a position to tell us otherwise.

BarryBlue

Marisco wrote: »

In that case then, I was "engaged" for 16 days! That was the time we had to leave between going to first see the registrar, and actually getting married. Once we decided there was no point hanging about, we'd lived happily together for 20 years, it was purely about the legalities for us.

It seems that, like us, you didn't bother with the engagement bit. It is, in my view, more for younger people so they can have a party and parade a ring around to their friends. Engagement has no legal status whatsoever since breach of promise ceased to be relevant in law. So if you don't wish to declare yourselves "engaged" then so be it. It is just a word some choose to use.

onlyroz

BarryBlue wrote: »

So if you don't wish to declare yourselves "engaged" then so be it. It is just a word some choose to use.

It's a word that means you have formally agreed to marry. You can be in this state for a few weeks, or in some cases years, and the parties, rings etc are entirely optional. What other words effectively describe this state, if you don't want to use "engaged"?

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/engaged

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engagement

tara747

Torry_Quine wrote: »

When we bought our first flat I lived in it on my own at first and he moved in when we married. I can still remember my neighbours watching for him leaving as they wouldn't believe he visited but never stayed overnight. :rotfl::rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: