Just need a little rant - gonna hit the fan this week with in laws from hell

Errata

His mum is a top clinical consultant

Where was that stated?

flossy_splodge

I understand we CAN only go on the information we have, but inciting further anger is not helpful.
All these accusations are just that, accusations and again just on the OP's say so.
It's amazing what can come out if tempers are held back and a genuine wish to meet the other halfway.
Life is rarely black and white in my opinion.

gettingtheresometime

j.e.j. wrote: »

Thankfully no-one I know works in the NHS, or at least not in the NHS in my area. I don't know what I'd do if a friend or relative worked in a doctors surgery or hospital and had access to my medical records. It would be very concerning, to say the least.

They could have a nosey at your records and not admit to having done that. You'd never be able to prove anything..

Yes they could look at your records but hopefully they would respect you and your privacy not to - even if they wanted to run the risk of losing their jobs.

I once was a student in a hospital and a girl I lived with was going in for some intimate tests in the examination room that I was in at the time. Whilst she was in there I excused myself and later, when I could have had the chance to look at her notes it didn't even cross my mind to have a peak.

ecgirl07

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

Just a quick one, Fivetide while my DH was still well enough before he was cath'd he told her to leave the room. The hospital themselves have admitted there would've been police involvement if it had been a father and daughter not mother and son. When DH became incapacitated I had to think how I would want him to be with my dad and there's no bloody way that I would expect my dad to stay in the room while I was nude. Xxx

Thats a hell of an insinuation to be making.....

Errata

j.e.j. wrote: »

They could have a nosey at your records and not admit to having done that. You'd never be able to prove anything..

Health IT systems go off like the noonday gun when someone not authorised to look at medical records does so, and their feet won't touch the ground as with most, if not all, primary/seconday/tertiary, it's instant suspension until a full investigation is completed - then it's the sack.

Andypandyboy

I am unclear if the MIL is medically qualified but the implication is there.

Regardless, I think that if any mother was caring for her son part f that may be personal care. I don't see anything intrinsically inappropriate there. I think that the suggestion by the OP that there is quite worrying. Also, that she has communicated that to her OP and he has reassured her that "nothing untoward" happened is again worrying.

I am not sure why social services or the police were involved the OP hasn't elaborated.

All in all. this seems like a power struggle with the OP's husband - a very sick young man stuck in the middle.

FBaby

Where was that stated?

I guess I deducted from the two quotes below:

I think if her job was less specialised (only nhs centre in uk to utilise the service she specialises in) she would be gone

Her excuses were "I'm a clinician"

Georgiegirl256

ecgirl07 wrote: »

Thats a hell of an insinuation to be making.....

Yes, and not a very nice one at that.

The OP's insistence of making a big deal of the mother trying to help with the personal care side of things makes for uncomfortable reading tbh.

I know the husband is and has been very sick, but surely he has a voice of his own? The way I'm reading it seems that as well as the MIL taking over, the OP is too....it is not a competition. Does the husband want a relationship with his parents?

AnnieO1234

Sorry guys again I don't have time right now, planning on responding later on. She is over-archingly a clinical scientist with a specialism. She's by no means a consultant and doesn't have basic medical training. She started in the labs and graduated to a more patient forward role but her main job involves planning treatment. I don't really want to elaborate further as if I did it would become very obvious who she is to anyone who knew her. Hope that makes sense.

No insinuation at all - the patient safeguarding protocols at the Trust are clear in what they would've had to do. Social Services became involved (and toddled off on their merry way happy I might add) because of malicious accusations made by MIL and FIL. Police were involved after FIL threatened bodily harm.

DH is not well enough to be alone with either MIL or FIL, the trip to the park was to take the children and it was merely a by-product to ask her along. We planned to visit the park's animal farm which is about ten minutes from her home. It seemed obvious to invite her along, but not obvious to be abused in this way. It was never about meeting her specifically on that day, but rather we are planning on doing this this week and, if we can, we'll try and meet you at the same time.

Back later. xxx

j.e.j.

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Yes they could look at your records but hopefully they would respect you and your privacy not to - even if they wanted to run the risk of losing their jobs.

I once was a student in a hospital and a girl I lived with was going in for some intimate tests in the examination room that I was in at the time. Whilst she was in there I excused myself and later, when I could have had the chance to look at her notes it didn't even cross my mind to have a peak.

Yes, it's the hopefully bit that concerns me.

Hopefully most people would be like you and respect the patient's privacy.