Age gaps

bylromarha

Gavin83 wrote: »

I'm nearly 30 and still a massive kid. I still play computer games and even buy lego sets, I find the building therapeutic. I am a bit of a geek but proud of it!

Have you heard that adult colouring on the rise? Big form of therapy. A friend spends most evenings colouring

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Adult-Colouring-Books-Paper-Crafts/b?ie=UTF8&node=266870

AubreyMac

My father is 7 years older than my mum. In their culture and at the time it was considered a big gap.

I hadn't realised this before (honestly) but my friend pointed out that the guys I've been with have often been older (a decade or there abouts).

I was the youngest in my family, siblings were teens when I was born so by the time I was old enough to know anything they were adults. Therefore I was always surrounded by grown ups and that's made me mature faster than my peers of the same age. I couldn't imagine being compatible with someone the same age as me.

As for gaming (I do love playing call of duty by the way), I went to a japanese culture event last year as I was judging sushi (my favourite food) and the amount of adults who turned up dressed as game characters or anime was astounding. Now that really is sad.

AubreyMac

bylromarha wrote: »

Thanks.

If you go by the general consensus of the thread though, they were happy & very much in love before dad's death 11 years into their marriage. Dad had a young outlook, mum had had to grow up quickly at a young age. They eloped in the 60s to get wed as grandad greatly disapproved. The 30 year age gap worked for them as they were in love.

My point is, just because it worked for them, it sucked for my sister and I. You're much more likely to lose a father young when he is 58 years old when you're conceived. Not rocket science.

I'm sure that must have been hard for you and your sis. (((hug)))

My dad was 40 when I was born. Although now it's considered normal to be a parent to a young child at that age, back then I had the oldest dad in school and that caused huge embarassment.

My sister and brother in law has had their first child. My brother in law is 51 (sis is 40). The good thing is that they're both really comfortable and able to provide well for my nephew. Being settled at their age enabled my sis to give up work completely.

If it's any consolation, I would much rather have 3 years with my father knowing he really wanted me than him just having kids because it's the 'done thing to do', as was the case with my parents.

Gloomendoom

AubreyMac wrote: »

As for gaming (I do love playing call of duty by the way), I went to a japanese culture event last year as I was judging sushi (my favourite food) and the amount of adults who turned up dressed as game characters or anime was astounding. Now that really is sad.

It's not really any worse than grown men dressing up in footballer costumes though.

southoftheriver

maman wrote: »

That's interesting.


There have been times when my DH has been out with our grown up DD and people have made assumptions that they're an item. He's always said that he couldn't imagine not being 'fatherly' towards a woman young enough to be his daughter.


But then maybe that's what some look for in a relationship. I certainly know many women (no appreciable age gap) who treat their partners as if they were their sons (making packed lunch, putting out clean clothes, buying clothes, packing for holidays etc.)!:rotfl:

Yes I guess some people like that? Definitely didn't do it for me. Despite our age gap we had quite similar personalities (a blessing and a curse!)

onlyroz wrote: »

Something I've read about age gap relationships when the woman is younger. A young woman might be looking for security in her older man, but as she matures she becomes more independent and less needy - this shift in dynamic can be a relationship-breaker in some cases, when the man still wants a woman he can "look after" but his partner no longer needs that.

Or to flip that, a man assumes that a woman is looking for security but she isn't. And sometimes he can't deal with the fact that she is independent. I can remember us having an argument once because a friend of his joked that I might be looking for a sugar daddy. When I pointed out to both of them that I earned more money than the pair of them put together and that I had no intention of giving up my career it did not go down well.

I already had a pretty set career goal and qualifications when I met him. So I didn't start seeing him as a naive teenager and then grow wings. That was part of the reason that we met in the first place (during a postgraduate degree). But when he had been my age the women in his life were nothing like me, and he definitely struggled with that.

My fiance now is only 4 years older than me, and he loves looking after me! And I let him because I do the same for him. But he is under no illusion that I'm going to settle down and become a housewife. Unless we both decide its what we want!

AubreyMac

Gloomendoom wrote: »

It's not really any worse than grown men dressing up in footballer costumes though.

Putting on a footie kit is one thing, but to go out and out to make (and not always very good) swords, shields, helmets and the full on make up is really something else.

onlyroz

AubreyMac wrote: »

Putting on a footie kit is one thing, but to go out and out to make (and not always very good) swords, shields, helmets and the full on make up is really something else.

Sounds like great fun to me

onomatopoeia99

AubreyMac wrote: »

Putting on a footie kit is one thing, but to go out and out to make (and not always very good) swords, shields, helmets and the full on make up is really something else.

It is something else, but not in the sense you seem to mean it. Some of the cosplay outfits people make are awesome.

Women do this as well, btw.

bugslet

In brief as I've said before, Mr Bugs was 23 year older than me, we started going out just after I turned 21 and a couple of months before he turned 44. We were together for 28 years, good bits, bad bits. Until dementia kicked in a couple of years before he died, we still went out and did stuff together - I always had an old head on my shoulders, he had a young head, so maybe that's why it worked.

He also preferred independent women and he certainly got one with me, so definitely no sugar daddy!

Soleil_lune

Re people mocking people who like sci fi and video games...

It's always been the same! It seems to be OK for men to be obsessed with football and spend half their waking hours watching it or talking about it, or for men to spend half their waking hours fishing, or playing golf. But God forbid a man enjoys playing video games, or participating in science fiction and 'cult tv' events: he gets mocked and laughed at.

My OH and my brother have always been big on sci-fi and computer games, (although they don't participate regularly in any clubs with other people, they just go to conventions once or twice a year,) and they have always had blokes at work ribbing them and taking the pee. But it's OK somehow for THEM to be obsessed with football. One man even called my brother a freak for not liking football a few years ago. Why is my brother a freak for having bit of an obsession with Star Wars, but this bloke isn't a freak for having an obsession with Chelsea football club and all the players? :huh:

In my experience, adults are into video games, as much as - if not more - than children. No idea why people take the pee. It's simply a hobby. My husband and brother don't take the pee out of their mates who sit by the river for 10 hours on a Sunday hoping to catch one fish, nor do they take the pee out of people spending all their surplus income and most of their spare time watching football/going to matches. So I don't understand why they think it's OK to mock them (and men like them.)

Pretty narrow-minded people IMO.