Age gaps

calleyw

onlyroz wrote: »

I do worry about health problems in the future, or perhaps spending my "best" years as a carer, but ultimately you can't help who you fall in love with.

My ex husband is 10 yrs older and than me.

And he had a stroke at 44. So I become a carer and 34. It was not something I was expecting until I was well in to my late 50's or early 60's.

You never know what life will throw at you at what ever age.

Yours

Calley

j.e.j.

AubreyMac wrote: »

So, do you think age gaps matter? and what to you is a big gap?

They do matter. Of course I wouldn't dictate what someone else should and shouldn't do but I'd say for me the cut off would be about 8 to 10 years either way, older or younger.

purpleshoes wrote: »

Has this topic not already been done to death on here?

I started a thread a while ago when I was invited to a wedding where the couple looked like father and daughter :eek: Turns out the age gap was 30 years, not 25 as I thought at the time. Ridiculous, really.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4718307

Jagraf

My grandad was twenty years older than my nan, and he outlived her by a good few years., and they both died over thirty years ago.

How many people in love would consider leaving each other because of an age gap?

Others might think it, what, maybe socially unacceptable (can't see why it would be an issue otherwise for anyone else). But if you don't care what others think, then I can't see a problem.

I would just call people lucky to have found each other, compared to those who have a particular set of standards and miss out big time.

Callie22

My OH is eleven years older than me and I can't say it's ever been a problem. I do tell him that technically that makes him my sugar daddy and so he should be keeping me in the style to which I've become accustomed (which to be fair, isn't going to cost him much lol) but it's had no effect so far ...

nearlyrich

My DH is 22 years older and he has been retired for over 12 years whilst I have had a busy job with a lot of travel. When we met I was 28 but I had already decided I would retire at 55 and I was doing the sums to make sure I would be able to live off my pension and savings. The only downside of the age gap is that we probably won't get to grow old together so we plan to make to most of the time we are both fit ad well to travel together to the rest of the places we want to visit without the restriction of my limited holiday allowance.
He has children older than me and some close to my age it isn't an issue we get on well and the wider family get on well. When we got together I had a young family and his were grown up, he has been a great dad to my two so much so that he is the one walking my DD down the aisle later this year and he was the person invited to graduations etc. I was only two years younger than my ex but that didn't work out as we had different outlooks on life.

maman

AubreyMac wrote: »

Her mum is enjoying her new found freedom and is becoming more outgoing whereas her dad has been retired for a few year isn't so bothered and wants to stay in all the time.

I think that can happen at any age. People sometimes have different ideas of what to do in retirement/spare time.

Peter333 wrote: »

.

I mean, a woman of 44 with a 19 year old male? What do they do together? Go skateboarding? Or stay in and play Grand theft auto?

That's what would matter to me. Although I understand that the chances of ill health and infirmity increase what would really matter to me is maturity and shared interests.

onomatopoeia99

Peter333 wrote: »

I mean, a woman of 44 with a 19 year old male? What do they do together? Go skateboarding? Or stay in and play Grand theft auto?

One of my friends is 47 and spends a lot of her free time playing computer games. In fact it's how we met over a decade ago, playing the same MMORPG.

Should she have given up playing computer games at some specific point, to fit in with some preconceptions about how women in their 40s are supposed to act? :eek:

Indie_Kid

I briefly dated someone who was 14 years older than me when I was 24. I couldn't see it going anywhere. I was only 7 years or so older than his eldest child.

mllgnc

My father was 27 years older than my mum, it didn't seem to cause them any problems and my sister and I never thought of him as an "older" dad. They were together over 30 years until he died at the age of 78.

My DH is 10 years older than me, which to me is nothing at all, probably because of the gap my parents had

j.e.j.

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

One of my friends is 47 and spends a lot of her free time playing computer games. In fact it's how we met over a decade ago, playing the same MMORPG.

Should she have given up playing computer games at some specific point, to fit in with some preconceptions about how women in their 40s are supposed to act? :eek:

Each to their own.

It is relatively unusual not to have grown out of computer games by the time you're in your 40s, but if it's what she likes, then why not..