How much to give as wedding present?

sooty&sweep

Hi
I'd personally prefer to give cash / vouchers rather than buy stuff they don't really need & will get recycled or stuck in a cupboard.
However I'm obviously tight as I'd probably give £50 but depends how flush you're feeling & how close you are to them.
Jen

jaylee3

There is something altogether backward about all this. They are paying for a wedding (possibly costing many 1000s) and yet they want money for their bloomin' honeymoon!

Makes no sense.

If you're so broke that you can't afford a honeymoon, then why have a wedding with (possibly) 100s of people at possibly £35 to £50 a head? Just save the money, and have a much smaller wedding (with just a dozen or so people, and a pub lunch for the reception!) THEN you will be able to afford your honeymoon without asking for money off people!

It's not rocket science is it?

And frankly I think it's a cheek to ask for money.

If you have everything you need for your house, and don't NEED anything, then send your invitations out with 'no presents required.' To get married and ask for money is really rude and cheeky and presumptious IMO.

Georgiegirl256

I too think it's rude to ask for money in your invitations, and those cutesy little poems drive me mad! They're so overdone now.

I think if your close family, ie parents, grandparents, siblings etc ask if there's anything in particular you would like, and some money for spends on your honeymoon would come in handy, then it's ok to mention money would be preferable in that instance. But to ask your guests for it is a big no no IMO.

I think it possibly puts people under unnecessary pressure to contribute more than they otherwise might feel comfortable with for fear of looking stingy.

persa

Well, you haven't said how much you actually earn, so it's hard to tell what's affordable. For some people, a tenner is a card is a big ask. For others, over £100 is an appropriate amount.

I would think about how much money I would normally give to a couple getting married, up it for the plus one and up it again for the plus child who's actually part of the wedding party. It's not a gift from you, it's effectively a gift from three people.

If you can't afford to give as much as you would like in cash, don't give the couple some tatty present they didn't ask for. Sometimes nothing at all and a thoughtfully written card is better than another damn photo frame...

Never been married or come close, but as a guest, giving money doesn't offend me. I hate being asked to give vouchers because they limit the recipient to a particular retailer and can lose value, but universal gift vouchers (GBP)? I don't mind at all. I'd rather the couple bought something with the money that they actually like.

onlyroz

I give £30 for friends. My brother got £50.

Pollycat

juicygirl wrote: »

Thanks for all replies!

I can't believe people would ask for a minimum!! This was in the invitation too, but was worded nicely!

I think I will go somewhere around the £100-£120 mark.

I'm struggling to see how a wedding invitation asking for money towards the honeymoon could be 'worded nicely' at all.


I think it's extremely tacky to send a wedding invitation out and ask for money at the same time.

tom9980

How anyone can think it is rude to give guidelines for gifts is beyond me, it is very rude to expect anything of course and notes asking for a minimum are ridiculous.

40 or so guests gave us about £220 our card had a note asking for no gifts because we had everything we needed having lived together for 7 years already. We asked just for them to attend and if they wanted to give cash then ok but I think we set a maximum cash limit of £20 and politely asked for nothing if they could not afford it. Mother in law tried to give us larger sums because we paid for everything but this was returned. A few others gave us gifts such as frames which remain unused to this day, so honestly pay attention to the couples requests don't do what you like anyway, it's better to give nothing than not listening!

I would probably give £20 in the op's case.

Birdie85

We give £50/£60 for close friends and gave my brother (the only family wedding we've attended) about £150 - but that was pre-baby days when we had more money! All gifts were given in $$ form so that they could be spent on honeymoon (they all happened to be in the US/Mexico/Caribbean); I like the fact that you have to actually go to a little effort to get the currency (since I'm not shopping for a gift) and it isn't immediately obvious how much you've given them. Even when you go on an AI holiday there are still things to buy like days out and souvenirs. We like to be told what excursions our money contributed to when people get home, one friend showed us photos of them swimming with dolphins, another a boat trip... it's nice to know that you've paid for a memory.

Several years ago one friend did ask me rather rudely for money for her wedding... she got a popcorn maker as I didn't like her attitude!

As for the OP's particular case, I'd give £50.

Pollycat

Birdie85 wrote: »

We give £50/£60 for close friends and gave my brother (the only family wedding we've attended) about £150 - but that was pre-baby days when we had more money! All gifts were given in $$ form so that they could be spent on honeymoon (they all happened to be in the US/Mexico/Caribbean); I like the fact that you have to actually go to a little effort to get the currency (since I'm not shopping for a gift) and it isn't immediately obvious how much you've given them. Even when you go on an AI holiday there are still things to buy like days out and souvenirs. We like to be told what excursions our money contributed to when people get home, one friend showed us photos of them swimming with dolphins, another a boat trip... it's nice to know that you've paid for a memory.

Several years ago one friend did ask me rather rudely for money for her wedding... she got a popcorn maker as I didn't like her attitude!

As for the OP's particular case, I'd give £50.

Not only 'a little effort' but also expense because you either have to pay commission or get a poor rate of exchange when you're only changing a small amount.

My sister was shocked at the poor rate she was offered on euros for spending money for her daughter on a school trip because she was only buying a small amount.
We sold her some of our spare euros at the going rate so saved her some money.

purpleshoes_2

Give what you can afford. I don't have a spare 100 pounds knocking around often. I've never given 100 quid to anyone getting married. It's the gesture that's important, not the amount of cash spent.