How much to give as wedding present?

purpleshoes_2

I still wouldn't be giving money to make someone's honeymoon special. I think it's really distasteful not to accept a present that someone has bought for you and insist on cash.

If people want their honeymoon paid for, close family should be asked and if they feel it's appropriate fair enough, no one else.

If people want to turn up with a money gift fine, but that should be their choice. There is nothing more off-putting than being told what you have to give a couple getting married.

It just smacks of bridezilla and we haven't budgeted for our own honeymoon so we'll ask our guests to pay it for us.

TheEffect

I'm going to a friend's wedding in a few months who asked for money in the invitation, and planned on giving £50.

After reading this, it seems that is on the lower side, so may increase it slightly. Or maybe I won't.

Pollycat

TheEffect wrote: »

I'm going to a friend's wedding in a few months who asked for money in the invitation, and planned on giving £50.

After reading this, it seems that is on the lower side, so may increase it slightly. Or maybe I won't.

Surely it all depends on how close you are to the bride/groom & what you can afford rather than what random posters on a public forum give?

That's why I think threads like this asking for advice are a bit 'odd'.

southoftheriver

I don't want anyone to be out of pocket for my wedding regardless of whether they buy a gift or give money. I don't think most people are bridezillas either. We haven't mentioned gifts or money and if we're asked we'll tell people that we have a small guest list. One of my friends has three children and i've invited them all. She's offered to cover their costs and I've refused. I'm inviting them because I want them there!

It would be a shame if people buy random things that are duplicates of what we have already, because it will be a waste of their money. I'd rather they didn't buy anything and just enjoy the day with us.

When I give money for friends it's usually around £60 because that is what I can afford. I don't feel offended by giving money either, at least they'll get something they want and it has never been asked for!

juicygirl

Pollycat wrote: »

That's why I think threads like this asking for advice are a bit 'odd'.

I think it's helpful to see what other people would do in a similar situation. I had no idea what to do and this has given me plenty to think about. Not sure why that's 'odd'.


Many thanks for all the replies. We've decided to go for a similar amount of money that we would normally spend on close friends rather than going higher, but are going to add in some sort of keepsake from our little boy.

Pollycat

juicygirl wrote: »

I think it's helpful to see what other people would do in a similar situation. I had no idea what to do and this has given me plenty to think about. Not sure why that's 'odd'.

The reason I said that I thought threads like this are 'odd' is because:

Pollycat wrote: »

No, it all depends how close you are to your cousin (or whatever relative is getting married).

That's why I think this question (and others like it) are exactly the same as asking 'how long is a piece of string?' - because the answer to that is 'it depends'.

And it depends how close you are, how much disposable money you have etc etc not on etiquette or what other people do or think.

If it were me I'd have made my own mind up what amount was appropriate, based on my own relationship with the bride & groom and my own financial circumstances - pretty much as you say you have done.

purpleshoes_2

I don't think all brides are bridezillas but some are. Ive been to weddings that cost a few quid but there wasn't all this fuss and nonsensical etiquette.

Seriously, etiquette about whether guests should help pay for the honeymoon?

Who writes this cobblers. The focus should be marrying the person, not all the rudiculous extras and people should be allowed to give a present within their budget without any hoo ha.

Some very spoiled princesses knocking around, you only need to look at the weddings boards to see that.

Jinx

I went to a wedding a few years back where cash was requested and it wasn't paying for extras it was paying for the honeymoon. To the point they said x amount of guests gifting us y money = a honeymoon worth £££. The guests didn't gift as much as they expected and the honeymoon nearly didn't happen!!


As a guest I'd give £50 for a gift, £100 for a close friend and would probably pay for an item like the cake for a relative so has been more.

BarryBlue

Poppops wrote: »

My son and his girlfriend were invited to a wedding last year. It was DS's gf's brother, who is a lot older and lives at the other end of the country.

They travelled all the way there, paid for a hotel and attended the small wedding. The reception was in a restaurant.

After the meal, the bride asked my son how many glasses of wine he and gf had drunk from the bottles on the table, scuttled away and came back with a bill for their meals and their share of the wine. The only thing they weren't expected to pay for was the champagne toast. They hadn't been warned in advance.

I'd never heard the like. DS and gf regret putting £100 in a card for the present. :rotfl:

I'd have simply told them to take it out of the £100 in the card. Job's a good 'un.:cool: