New relationship advice needed.

itch_for_a_glitch

OP do you know what you want ?

If you do, tell him.

[Deleted User]

You've got to admit OP he is being too full on.

He's not respecting your boundaries. If you told him that you would text in the morning as you had an albeit imaginary friend coming round DONT reply to any texts tonight. And if he sends any sarcastic texts or texts like before deal with it tomorrow. Better still switch your phone off tonight.

I know this isn't me, but this has happened to me before and a phone call to him tomorrow explaining that you said you would text him tomorrow and not tonight will be better than a text which can be misconstrued. And it will put you in a better position about having your boundaries acknowledge. Because he sure isn't respecting your wishes now. And this can turn him into being controlling as he isn't listening to you at all.

purpleshoes_2

itch_for_a_glitch wrote: »

OP do you know what you want ?

If you do, tell him.

I agree, rather than sit on here and post how many texts shes had from him, why not just put him out of his misery and say I dont want to see you any more.

pineapple

Thanks folks
Part of me would like to see where this goes but we are in different head spaces I think and maybe he is just an all or nothing person. On that subject at least we haven't slept together yet!
He lives in a nearby village. Will suggest meeting today somewhere neutral and with our own cars so neither is relying on a lift from the other (something else he tries to engineer). Will then try to explain some of what I've said here.
Going to suggest at the very least going cold turkey till next week - so no contact at all. Can see him being sufficiently upset to say he can't do that. So permanent cold turkey probably! Bet I get a 'women don't like nice guys' speech.
If this is where we are at after just 2 weeks what would it be like further down the line? I realise it must sound ridiculous from outside.

Errata

It doesn't sound ridiculous, it simply sounds like you've unfortunately met up with someone who's not quite 'all there'.
Be an independant woman, have a quick coffee or drink with him because you're busy and you have a life, and tell him you'll give him a call. Ignore his texts, let his phone calls go to voicemail then call him when/if you want to.
If he is 'all there' he'll shrug to himself and wait until you contact him, any unwanted and uncalled for further contact he initiates is harassment.

Indie_Kid

Been there and done that. After telling him I didn't want to be with him, (it wasn't just how clingy he was - the age gap, he has kids closer to my age, how close he was to his "ex", etc) he would not stop texting me and insisted on meeting up.

Even after this, he would whinge because of how long I would take to respond to text messages. Or rather, I hadn't checked my phone for, um, 3 and a half hours. But apparently, him not replying for 4 days (and he quite clearly hadn't read my text) was ok.

We're not in contact any more. I couldn't be happier. I have a friend who I text and email quite a lot. He has apologised a few times for taking his time to reply (in his defence, I had sent an email at 11pm at night and he was away another time, which he had told me) and I'm kind of "fine, whatever. I understand that you're not glued to your phone / laptop". (and that Windows 8 is a pain in the backside)

Errata

I wish someone would invent a mobile phone that can't accept texts! They're simply the electronic version of leaving a scribbled note on someone's desk.

Indie_Kid

Errata wrote: »

I wish someone would invent a mobile phone that can't accept texts! They're simply the electronic version of leaving a scribbled note on someone's desk.

I think before he got an iphone, a friend had a mobile where you could only call him on, annoying. (I hate calling people!)

rainygreyhound

At least standard text messages can be read and you can reply in your own time. With Whatsapp etc, those blue tick read receipts are the devils tool

pineapple

Although it doesn't sound it, I'm not much into texting. I'm hopeless and very slow! Unlike someone I used to work with. She'd be receiving and sending messages from/to her mates the whole time - both at work and socially. Personally I think it's quite rude if you are out with someone and they spend half their time checking their 'phones and texting.