New relationship advice needed.

nearlyrich

Glad you posted the update, I am married but would be annoyed if my husband sent me loads of texts and made arrangements for every waking hour I wasn't at work. We do spend time together and do things but we consult each other and when I go away for work I usually call him once a day, I have a colleague who's wife called him 3 times in the time it took to eat a main course the other evening...no emergency just a bit needy, he got a bit cheesed off in the end and said he would call later..

pineapple

I think my previous partner and I managed so well because he worked shifts and I didn't You appreciated each others company all the more because it wasn't every evening. Plus you got to hog the bed and the remote once in a while..
That said some people seem to manage both living and working together. Horses for courses I guess.

pineapple

Indie_Kid wrote: »

I personally wouldn't have met him and do think you could be giving him the wrong idea.

Well it was either that or send a text (I know someone that happened to and it's not nice) or try it in a 'phone call - which is still a bit cowardly imo and which can also go pear shaped.

nearlyrich

pineapple wrote: »

I think my previous partner and I managed so well because he worked shifts and I didn't You appreciated each others company all the more because it wasn't every evening. Plus you got to hog the bed and the remote once in a while..
That said some people seem to manage both living and working together. Horses for courses I guess.

I work away usually a few times a month and I really appreciate a night in at home on my own. It's not that I don't like spending time with DH at all but it is nice to have some me time ..and it's not even about the remote as he rarely cares what's on the box..I do enjoy the bed to myself too.. and an omelette for my tea rather than something more elaborate.

rainygreyhound

pineapple wrote: »

Indeed but all of this 'stuff' just came out today. I think it's quite nice that someone was concerned. I promise now to stop boring people about it.

It wasn't yourself in particular but some posters seemed to be saying run a mile, you're going to end up under his patio! He's a bit self centered by ignoring what you told him but it doesn't mean he had sinister intentions. Glad you got it sorted it anyway.

Indie_Kid

Thanks for the update. It actually explains a lot. I did used to know someone who was similar. His wife had died. (I was kind of aware of this) He'd asked if we could meet for coffee and I thought nothing of it. He became really clingy towards me and wouldn't stop texting me. I then told him that under no terms were we to meet up for coffee. (he didn't know where I lived, thankfully)

Next thing I know, he's been sectioned, which he blamed me for.

And you're right - you're not his therapist. There's one thing being a friend and being there if he does need someone to talk to. But you can't replace any professional help he may need.

Brighton_belle

Indie_Kid wrote: »

And you're right - you're not his therapist. There's one thing being a friend and being there if he does need someone to talk to.

And of course , they weren't even friends at that level either - they had only just met, so needing emotional support of any kind would still be way too soon in this acquaintance.


Glad you untangled yourself OP - well done for doing the decent thing though by doing it face to face. I get why you felt bad driving away - I think would of too, but you really had no choice without spinning it out further and sending mixed messages. (You don't have anything to feel bad about though).