Very mixed up, advice needed

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

I haven't worn my wedding ring since our wedding day. If people want to look pointedly at my hand when I talk about my 'husband', they are welcome to.

And are sad and nosey individuals to do so.

Mrs_Muckle

He still just says we will get married eventually, give it time, he does not want to be without me. He was looking at engagement rings last night!

Pollycat

Mrs_Muckle wrote: »

He still just says we will get married eventually, give it time, he does not want to be without me. He was looking at engagement rings last night!

So why all the fuss and all the rush?

Why won't you give it time?

Do you not believe him?
Although that doesn't explain why he's telling you he will marry you but telling his friends exactly the opposite, does it?
TBH, if it were me I'd want an answer to that question because he's either lying to you or lying to his friends. And that answer would have to be very plausible indeed.

And if he's telling his friends that he won't get married again, why is he looking at engagement rings?

You both sound like immature teenagers instead of the (probable) late 50s/early 60s that you actually are.

I'm beginning to wonder if he's messing with your head.

pollypenny

Mrs_Muckle wrote: »

He still just says we will get married eventually, give it time, he does not want to be without me. He was looking at engagement rings last night!

You left your husband in May 2014 and you jumped into another relationship immediately.

Were you seeing the new one before you left for the refuge?

It's seems a bit daft to jump into marriage number 4. Or are you addicted to weddings?

Mojisola

pollypenny wrote: »

Or are you addicted to weddings?

It sounds more as if 'being married' gives the OP a sense of security, even though the three failed relationship show that the security isn't permanent.

It would be better to work on feeling secure in herself and in the current relationship.

Mrs_Muckle

Pollycat there really is no need to be offensive.

Pollypenny I am not addicted to weddings, they have all been low key as I do not like tobe centre of attention.

As I have said thank you all for your input it has been helpful. Xx

Pollycat

Mrs_Muckle wrote: »

Pollycat there really is no need to be offensive.

I'm sorry if my opinion has offended you

It IS my honest opinion, based on the information you' ve posted.

meer53

I don't see any offensive comments, you need to understand that on a forum we can only judge by what you write. It does sound a bit immature on both your parts, you want to be married again, despite 3 failed ones, and your OH can't tell the truth about what he wants to do. I was thinking the same.

Mrs_Muckle

Just because you think the same meer53, it is one thing to say our behaviour maybe in your opinion immature but to say we act as teenagers is offensive.

The majority of people have been helpful and even if I have found something difficult to read I have tried to be objective. But I found this offensive.

Btw we are 51 and 58, I am the younger one.

Georgiegirl256

Mrs_Muckle wrote: »

He was looking at engagement rings last night!

Oh my! :wall:

If this was one of your friends, been married numerous times before, been with the new guy less than a year, then what would you be telling them if they asked for your advice?

I know you say you're not desperate (and I didn't mean any offence by that), but as an outsider looking in, that is how it appears.