How would you feel? the same or do I need a kick up the rear?

Pollycat

SandC wrote: »

Gosh, well that's awful. Just awful. :mad:

It sure is.


I've read some horror stories about Mothers on this forum but this one is right up there vying for the #1 slot.

Izadora

Pollycat wrote: »

If my Mother had treated me with the same arrogance, disdain and lack of feeling as yours has done, I would not be having anything to do with her.

Me neither. Well, after having sent the invoice she'd mentioned that is...

Maz

Jeez, what a nasty thing to do and what an attitude!!!:mad::mad:

Bennifred

As your mother has chosen to damage your relationship with her actions/behaviour, I think you have nothing at all to lose by sending her the expected invoice. Plus interest! I hope it goes a fair way towards a deposit for your new home.

Mojisola

Elinore wrote: »

To those asking where the money came from it turns out the gentleman she divorced had a familial bereavement and had tried to hide the sizable inheritance until it came out in the very late stages of the proceedings. As they were married at the time it was half hers apparently.

Her argument for accepting money during the period she was aware of the windfall was sheer oversight ‘I am a busy person’. She was quite snippy about the whole thing and has now inferred that her suddenly having money has soured me to her and that jealousy is an ugly thing (and apparently it is my issue)

Any decent person would have been to see you as soon as she knew that she would be getting that unexpected lump sum and telling you how grateful she was that you had helped her out and that she would be repaying all the money you had given her (and a bit extra to show her gratitude) when the money was in her account.

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

Any decent person would have been to see you as soon as she knew that she would be getting that unexpected lump sum and telling you how grateful she was that you had helped her out and that she would be repaying all the money you had given her (and a bit extra to show her gratitude) when the money was in her account.

Would anybody think me a complete biatch if I said I wouldn't feel any sadness at all to see this patently not-decent excuse for a Mother living out the rest of her days in penury and loneliness?

onlyroz

So is this unusual or typical behaviour for your mum? And was the money you gave her meant to be a gift or a loan? And are we talking sizable sums (i.e. many thousands)? Depending on the answers to these questions, you might want to consider cutting her out your life for a bit and moving on.

Mojisola

Elinore wrote: »

So we have been paying some of her bills and bought her a car (only a cheap run around!)

He is baffled that I am this upset as in his eyes nothing changed, we had nothing before and we have nothing now.

You've got less now than you had because of the money you've given her!

mildredalien

Oh wow, so she's now pre-empting you asking for her to pay you back for paying her bills by saying that if you do it would be souring the relationship and petty? When she is the one who is choosing money over your relationships really, by not following through on her promise to gift you a substantial sum all the while happily accepting your financial help!

I'd be fuming!

To be honest I'm pretty sure I'd want to call the relationship quits altogether at least for a while. She sounds like the kind of person who will twist anything you try and say to make her seem good and you bad. Then again she's your mum and we don't know you or your relationship. No wonder you feel sad though.

raven83

No OP, you are right to feel pee'd off. What your mum has done is actually quite cruel, she dangled you a carrot and then withdrew with no reason. And with every thing you have done for her, just makes her actions even more mean.

I would be feeling very numb about it all too, I think I would have to confront her as to her reasons why, why get you so excited then dash your dream, I feel for you OP.