How would you feel? the same or do I need a kick up the rear?

Elinore

Hi person one, we do want a lodger the money will help us over pay on the mortgage. It was always the plan as the house has almost a little flat'let attached.

Just read over your replies. Sorry i worried some of you that i reacted badly to your advice, i assure you that wasnt the case. As i have been a bit unwell all i have been doing is popping in and out.

Smodlet actually has a valid point - insomuch as it is something i constantly worry about. I worry that i will become my mother and in fact i swing so far from her, personality wise to try to counteract this that i think it makes it easier for her to manipulate me. lol

Oh and i will not make my OH the bad man in this and use him as an excuse - that is not fair to him so i just wont do it - Hes a sweet gentle man who i think the world of.

couple of things to clarify why her housing situation was so bad....

1. Most of the house sale money will go to pay bills and debt she will not have a significant sum left over.
2. My mother has no form of income except a small payment from two ex husbands as part of settlement relating to pensions. Most LL don't like this.
3. She has a shocking credit history (see 1. lol)
4. she also has CCjs (or similar - i am not sure) for non payment of rent and the repossession of the original fancy car.

When we spoke to local agencies regarding renting they just wouldn't take her on as she failed the credit check and doesn't have enough money to give the sum upfront they wanted. We also refused point blank to guarantor her. I believe we are the only people in the family with suitable credit so that was a dead end.

We looked at private rental but they were few and far between and at a standard that was not nice - even i baulked at a few of them and i was keen to find something for her!

Shes too fit and healthy for any government help (and lets be honest the system shouldn't be used for the likes of her! it should be used for genuine people with dire housing issues!)

Pollycat

Elinore wrote: »

Shes too fit and healthy for any government help (and lets be honest the system shouldn't be used for the likes of her! it should be used for genuine people with dire housing issues!)

So what is she doing to try to get a job?

That's what most people would have to do - especially if they are fit and healthy.

Primrose

Elinore wrote: »

Hi person one, we do want a lodger the money will help us over pay on the mortgage. It was always the plan as the house has almost a little flat'let attached.

Just read over your replies. Sorry i worried some of you that i reacted badly to your advice, i assure you that wasnt the case. As i have been a bit unwell all i have been doing is popping in and out.

Smodlet actually has a valid point - insomuch as it is something i constantly worry about. I worry that i will become my mother and in fact i swing so far from her, personality wise to try to counteract this that i think it makes it

couple of things to clarify why her housing situation was so bad....

1. Most of the house sale money will go to pay bills and debt she will not have a significant sum left over.
2. My mother has no form of income except a small payment from two ex husbands as part of settlement relating to pensions. Most LL don't like this.
3. She has a shocking credit history (see 1. lol)
4. she also has CCjs (or similar - i am not sure) for non payment of rent and the repossession of the original fancy car.

Shes too fit and healthy for any government help (and lets be honest the system shouldn't be used for the likes of her! it should be used for genuine people with dire housing issues!)

Then this genuinely has to be her lightbulb moment to get off her backside and start changing things. I believe you now have to pay NI contributions for ten years before you're entitled to any kind of state pension at all so she had better be prepared to get a job and work until her old age to make up for her years of leisure. Few people manage to get their cake and eat it.

You are very sensible to use the lodger opportunity to overpay your mortgage and I hope it works out for you.

LannieDuck

*phew!*

I hope your health is recovered now.

Primrose

Well if your mother's new relationship fails and she's back in the housing dilemma again, maybe you could persuade her to become a paid companion to an elderly person where she lives in. She probably wouldn't get paid much, but a roof would be provided over her head, until the elderly person died. There were often adverts for such positions in magazines like The Lady, if it still exists. She certainly needs to be thinking outside the box for opportunities to keep herself with such a bad financial record.

KxMx

I hope the rest of your relatives have been told your side of the story in that she never actually helped you with your house deposit.

Elinore

Thank you everyone that took the time.I really really appreciate you all saying NO in a multitude of different ways

Sadly i don't think this will be a 'light bulb' moment for her she just doesn't have the will or interest to try. I was talking to a old family friend once laughingly categorised my mother as wilfully self indulgent, terribly short sighted and with a smidgen of learned helplessness - all wrapped up in beguiling charm and fluttering eyelashes. What she said has kinda stuck with me lol

But that being said the pressure is off and i am marshalling the defences for when the redneck phase comes to its end. Phew!

gettingtheresometime

Primrose wrote: »

Well if your mother's new relationship fails and she's back in the housing dilemma again, maybe you could persuade her to become a paid companion to an elderly person where she lives in. She probably wouldn't get paid much, but a roof would be provided over her head, until the elderly person died. There were often adverts for such positions in magazines like The Lady, if it still exists. She certainly needs to be thinking outside the box for opportunities to keep herself with such a bad financial record.

I started to read your reply and immediately thought if The Lady magazine.

I skim through it occasionally (hubby has one of those digital mass magazine things) and look at the adverts - I think the going rate is more than you think when you consider beard & lodge is generally included.

Proxima_Centauri

Elinore wrote: »

Hi person one, we do want a lodger the money will help us over pay on the mortgage. It was always the plan as the house has almost a little flat'let attached.

Ah, that's what she had her eye on!

barbiedoll

Glad you're well and that the situation has resolved itself...for now!


Just one thought. Perhaps call your mother tomorrow and let her know that, unbeliveably, you have found a lovely lodger, who has paid a month's rent upfront, and a month's deposit, and who is going to move in on the day after your mother goes back home to her rich boyfriend.

Just in case rich boyfriend's family start to panic at the realisation that their inheritence is under threat.... tell her that, as you have already spent the lovely lodger's rent and deposit, (how irresponsible! ) you can't possibly cancel the contract and so mother will have to b**ger off after Christmas regardless of whether or not rich boyfriend is waiting for her.

It doesn't hurt to cover your backside!