Mediation

evelynbarnaby

I am also sailing in the boat of divorce and its very painful and I really don't get how to deal with it.

Guest101

A proper update!!

Did mediation.

In defence of my ex ( Ye I know ?! ) she text this morning to say she was going to go. Which did make the morning more bearable.

Anyway got there. Started abit hit and miss. But walked away with 2 days a week. And a civil relationship with her.

Much better than expected.

marisco_2

Thank you for updating us. This is great news. I am so pleased for you. I hope you will have a lovely time when you see your son.

Mojisola

Guest101 wrote: »

Anyway got there. Started abit hit and miss. But walked away with 2 days a week. And a civil relationship with her.

Much better than expected.

I hope it lasts. It's not unknown to agree to things in mediation (in front of an observer) and then not to stick to the plans in real life.

I hope all goes well but don't be too disappointed if things don't go as smoothly as expected.

Alchemilla

Well done.

iammumtoone

Mojisola wrote: »

I hope it lasts. It's not unknown to agree to things in mediation (in front of an observer) and then not to stick to the plans in real life.

Which is exactly why I would recommend anyone who attends mediation makes sure they book and agree a follow up appointment in front of the mediator before they leave.

Guest101

iammumtoone wrote: »

Which is exactly why I would recommend anyone who attends mediation makes sure they book and agree a follow up appointment in front of the mediator before they leave.

Thanks Everyone

We did just this, for 6 weeks time. Might not be necessary then, but it's there if we need it.

Guest101

An update from my previous mediation thread, so I thought everything was going ok.

After mediation, it kind of escalated, we ended up sleeping together a couple of times, I was round a lot.

The problem was that we weren't in a relationship as such, but she still behaved as if I was there for her too. The old problems never been resolved.

We ended up having a few rows, because I was getting mixed messages from her. Almost playing happy families, but when i brought up what it meant and should I be trying to reconcile, she'd fly off the handle.

Most of the time it felt like just day-to-day life though. And i really didnt suspect anything. So my only clear memories are from really the last week when i noticed something was up.

But two - three weeks ago she started to say she wasnt available monday - wednesday/thursday. She had college work to do and I figured that was causing her some stress.

Fathers Day was ok, I spent some time there, then she disappeared to her parents for a while. And in the evening we had some tea and so forth (she treated me to a takeaway), i thought things were going ok, along the right lines.

Anyway, I know (ok im as certain as i can get without witnessing the act itself!) that she's started seeing someone. (i can give reasons, but i tried typing that and it got to a side and half of A4 - mind running abit at the moment.)

I feel so stupid for missing it. I know it's not cheating. But just feel so stupid.

I feel really betrayed. We'd been discussing summer plans for days out etc. And I want to know my son is safe.

I guess I just want some answers. I'm a bit sad, but mostly just feel a bit used.

She's always said in the past, if i meet someone, keep DS away from the person. That she'd want to know who it was etc.

I feel like i kind of deserve the same courtesy. Especially since he'd often get into bed with her.

FBaby

This is what happens when you evolve in an ambiguous situation ie. You're together but you're not but you are but you're not. In the end you both felt confused and used at different stages. It sounds like it is time to make it clear to each other where you both stand.

Ozzuk

It should be months before she considers introducing someone new to your son (you'd hope so anyway but situations are often different) so I doubt you have any right to know everyone she dates until it becomes serious/introduction to kid.

Sadly, she's used you to get over the break up and sounds like she is moving on. You should likely just move on yourself and just be there for your son.