Mediation

Guest101

So had my first appointment today, now waiting for them to get in touch with my ex. Probably another week or so for her to have the appointment. Then another week for the actual appointment. 4 weeks without seeing my son

I know it's busy, and I know it's unlikely anything would change, but it sucks that legally it takes so long.

I saw my ex today, as in we walked past on the same road. Seeing her brought up all my old feelings. Shame really.

Alchemilla

I wouldn't get your hopes up. Have tried this and the woman was a pillock.

What did you think of the mediator?

Guest101

Mediator seemed good, and she said she'd do mediation. I know things change. But what else can I do?

Currently, work, eat, few drinks and telly.

Need my son, need to hold him and cuddle him.

marisco_2

I hope that your ex will be receptive to mediation and approach it with as much willingness to talk things through and sort them out as you are bringing to it.

Guest101

marisco wrote: »

I hope that your ex will be receptive to mediation and approach it with as much willingness to talk things through and sort them out as you are bringing to it.

Fingers and toes crossed.

It's stupid, I genuinely think all we need is to actually speak, and listen.

Guest101

Just to update:

Heard today that she has accepted mediation. I dont know the date, but presumebly it's 2 weeks (i'm hoping less), for her first appointment

and another 2 for the joint appointment, so 6-7 weeks. its 3 weeks on sunday since i saw my son - it's been tough.

Apparently i've been out befriending and meeting up with "b!tches" thats a quote, and so i must be making up all my feelings for my child and she would've let me see my son if that wasnt the case.
- someone has been spreading porky pies, and cost me serious time with my son, especially around easter.

I swear if i find out who it is.... i'll do nothing, because i need to be there for him... but i've got a long memory.

fivetide

No one has been making up anything. It will be your ex who will simply be making excuses for her behaviour and is just being cruel. Trust me on that.

Guest101

fivetide wrote: »

No one has been making up anything. It will be your ex who will simply be making excuses for her behaviour and is just being cruel. Trust me on that.

I think that's a strong possibility.

Only reason I suspect otherwise is 2 days after we split she said the same to me: news travels fast, you've been befriending and meeting some b's.

Whether that was her testing out the waters, or someone saying something, or as u say her justifying herself. Not really an issue, I know I've not been. Just frustrating I guess

Guest101

Just realised something and wanted to get it down on paper.

We were together a while, and as often would happen we'd argue, occasionally split - briefly - generally just little things.

So her reasons for arguing, or taking a break, were constantly changing over the years.

My reasons always stayed the same.

I've realised that's because i'e changed alot in the last 4/5 years. And whilst the reason for breaking up this time is largely irrelevant in the grand scheme - it is just another in a long line of complaints. Started off seeing my mates too much, so i stopped seeing them, almost completely. Next was not enough housework doing, so i did my share, and more.

My reasons, largely the same. Wanted more us time - difficult with a wee one i accept. And i look back over the last 3 years and can count the proper 'dates' on one hand. Dont notice it day to day, but over 3 years...

Yet 'i never changed'...

- you can disagree with me if you wish, but in my head, this makes sense. (and its not to do with blaming her, as it is with stopping blaming myself)

RAS

Have you ever spoken to her previous partners? What was the reason for the break-down?

I recall someone describing a rant from her sister; "He was an utter s###, this one just wanted....and that one was a !!!!!! and so on.....

My friend eventually turned round and asked "And have you ever thought what the common denominator was in all those relationships?

Guest101

No, don't know previous partners.

She's never had a proper long term relationship- certainly we were the longest relationship either of us had.

She's now contacted my sister that she's going to CMS for payments. Ridiculous, I was happy to pay over the legal minimum. All she had to do was speak to me.

Don't know CMS procedure. Will have a google.