Mediation

marisco_2

It is such a shame that your ex cant think and act logically. Things could be worked out so easily and a lot of heartache, anxiety and unnecessary stress would be avoided.

Alchemilla

Its sounds as though she is all about drama.

Do your best to ignore the drama. Nothing will annoy her more.

Guest101

I'm literally not speaking to her at all.

Though I did notice she's unblocked me on Facebook ( I noticed because photos appeared where she had tagged me, not because I was checking ) - why? Not a clue, either she's obsessed or wants to check up on me

shoe*diva79

The CMS procedure:

She contacts them and pays a £20 fee for them to work out the assessment. They will use your most recent P60 info from the inland revenue to do this and tell you how much you will have to pay her. One child is 12% of gross salary as a guide but there are deductions for how often you have your child overnight.

You pay direct to her. She cannot make you may via the CMS to start with. If you miss a payment then she can ask the CMS to collect on her behalf. She will pay 4% admin charge for this which is deducted from the CM they collect from you. In addition, you will have to pay a 20% admin fee on top of the assessment.

Guest101

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

The CMS procedure:

She contacts them and pays a £20 fee for them to work out the assessment. They will use your most recent P60 info from the inland revenue to do this and tell you how much you will have to pay her. One child is 12% of gross salary as a guide but there are deductions for how often you have your child overnight.

You pay direct to her. She cannot make you may via the CMS to start with. If you miss a payment then she can ask the CMS to collect on her behalf. She will pay 4% admin charge for this which is deducted from the CM they collect from you. In addition, you will have to pay a 20% admin fee on top of the assessment.

Oh ok, well that's good news. I dont intend to miss any payments so i guess it will have no impact on me what so ever.

How someone can be so spiteful, no idea.

3 weeks since i last saw my son.

RAS

Has she now given you the bank account details into which to pay?

I would set up a DD that pay early if there is a bank holiday as these are the time a payment is most likely to be late.

Guest101

RAS wrote: »

Has she now given you the bank account details into which to pay?

I would set up a DD that pay early if there is a bank holiday as these are the time a payment is most likely to be late.

Nope, nothing.

I saw her for about 15 seconds yesterday - Was crossing road, waiting for the lights and looking at my phone, as it goes green i look up and there she is. - wierd, without being funny she obviously saw me there. Anyway i go to just walk past and she says, "are you not paying for X?" - i said of "course, talk to me and we can set it up and i can see him."

and she said no, and she was calling the police because i approached her?! - I just walked away.

My point though was A: she saw me waiting at the crossing and decided to stay and B: instigated the conversation with me - yet now i'm the bad guy.

I doubt she's actually called the police, but how mental!

RAS

Hi

Go to the police and ask them if you can write to her requesting details of the bank account to which you can pay CMS as she is currently refusing to provide that information; and if she tells CMS you refuse to pay, you get penalised an extra 20%.

Get their response in writing.

Guest101

RAS wrote: »

Hi

Go to the police and ask them if you can write to her requesting details of the bank account to which you can pay CMS as she is currently refusing to provide that information; and if she tells CMS you refuse to pay, you get penalised an extra 20%.

Get their response in writing.

Good idea thanks. I havent actually had anything from CMS (sorry i realise i didnt explain it properly) yet. She speaks to my sister alot, and my sister said that she's going through 'some company to do the maintenance'.

It will have been CMS, but my sister wouldnt know that.

I'm more than happy to pay, i just want it written down somewhere that i pay £x on Y date in Z account. So i dont get stung later.

iammumtoone

sorry to hear you are going through this.

Your ex will have her reasons she has stopped access, her reasons may not be fair, right or rational but to her at this moment they are. Until mediation there is nothing you can do to change that, you just have to work with it.

Have you asked if you can see your son in the presence of someone she trusts (her parents for example, maybe she will you let you spend time with him at your parents - does she get on well with them?)

Maybe send her a text along the line of

Really missing xxx, if you don't want me to see him alone at the moment would you consider letting me see him round yys house in their presence, or anywhere else you would be comfortable with?

You have nothing to lose, if she says no, keep a record of it and you can ask why in mediation. Just don't get into a row over it.

EDIT: if she trusts your sister would she let you see your son in her presence?