When should I stop buying presents for my friend's children?

Indie_Kid

I don't think we've ever had parents friends buy us presents. We do have sides of the family who don't buy us presents either and just send us cards and we do the same.

Cimscate

I stopped buying for nieces and nephews when they were 18 but still sent birthday cards, gradually stopping the cards as they never send me one and once they are adults I think 'do as you would be done by' is a good rule to follow.


I now have great nieces / nephews and do not buy for them unless I actually see them on their birthday / Xmas - I nephew always invites me to their parties so they get pressies! My other sisters always buy as they all have grandchildren (which I do not) so it is reciprocal.


However, it really is up to you to decide, maybe talk to the parent....

MrsGilbo

Last Christmas we realised that we'd missed the 18th birthday of the daughter of our friend. We had historically sent her and her younger brother a Christmas present. We sent her a cheque in a card apologising for missing her birthday and explaining that the cheque was the last present she would receive now that she was 18 but to put it towards something nice. We received a lovely email in reply, saying that she would put the money towards driving lessons and saying what her plans for the future were. We will do the same for her brother too.

elizabethhull

I had several of my parent's friends who stopped giving me presents when I was 21, but they still sent much-appreciated cards.
As the key age is 18 now, I give a double-value present (usually money) for the 18th and then stop.

I once gave a friend's son his 18th present of £30, which he put towards a motorbike, which he insured 3rd party only. It caught fire and he lost it all. Now there's a proper dilemma - do I send again ? I didn't but felt a bit mean even though it was his choice to under-insure.

enthusiasticsaver

I used to buy birthday and Christmas presents for my closest friends' children until they were 18 and now only do a token present if we are invited over to enjoy their birthday celebrations. I still do a card though. I still buy for my niece who is 18 this year but think I will stop for my nephew who is 22.

Barryfan

We have a rule that, once relatives (nieces, nephews) have reached their 18th birthday, presents stop, but they still get a card to acknowledge birthdays and Christmas. This will also apply to grandchildren once they reach 18. No-one should EXPECT you to buy presents for their children - surely that is entirely your choice. I am guessing that you really want to stop, hence the enquiry.

Jagraf

Tend to send them until they are at work - uni students appreciate money and usually need it!

My ex's nieces, who are my godchildren, I still send birthday and christmas presents but these stop at 18 as I think ive been rather generous!

In don't understand why people expect thank you cards. Maybe a text as it is free, but i don't give expecting anything back. I find it odd that you send someone a tenner and they spend a couple of quid sending a thank you back. I know its appreciated anyway and I would rather them spend the two quid themselves.

Pollycat

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I used to buy birthday and Christmas presents for my closest friends' children until they were 18 and now only do a token present if we are invited over to enjoy their birthday celebrations. I still do a card though. I still buy for my niece who is 18 this year but think I will stop for my nephew who is 22.

In the spirit of fairness, are you going to continue to buy for your niece until she's 22?

Jagraf

ruthb2008 wrote: »

Most of my extended family stopped when I turned 18. My mum's friend continues to buy me gifts to this day, but of course I buy for her in return now.

I think it's tricky when there are 3 daughters - I remember how gutted I was when suddenly no-one cared about my birthday - but my sister who is 4 years younger still got gifts.

The choice really is yours, and there's certainly no right or wrong answer, but if it were me I'd probably wait til all 3 had turned 18.

That is really unfair to the youngest as I see it. I had a neighbour who did this with her kids (pocket money wise). They were both savers and the oldest ended up with much more money.

pineapple123

Everyone is different and there are no rules what is right or wrong. I still buy birthday, christmas and even easter eggs for my twenty + year old nephews and nieces.

It does not have to be expensive at all. The easter eggs are just the small ones recently on offer 4 for £3 and Christmas/ birthday are just from offers or deals I collect during the year sometimes I make hampers which usually costs between £5- £8.

I see my nephews and nieces quite alot and I dont know when I will stop giving maybe when I become a nanny or great aunt, but until then I still enjoy giving to them.
However all my friends children I stopped a few years ago as I couldnt keep up with them all.