When should I stop buying presents for my friend's children?

dafp

Presents until they have left Education.

We started this many years ago when our parents were due to retire and us 'children' didn't want their money stretched to cover these occasions. Time spent with Grandparents has much more than monetary value

burnsguitarman

I bought presents for my friends 4 children, up to 16 and had left school, then for any milestone birthdays after that. Also Weddings, Engagements etc.
I dont think they are expected, and I see them all quite often, we get invited to any family events they have. I treat my Nieces and Nephews the same. Mrs B.

janiebquick

BigBananaFeet wrote: »

I give up to their 18th birthday, also a 21st present. Both are good stopping ages, also 16, otherwise you'll be buying them presents forever!

I did the same, they got an 18th present and then a 21st and that was it.

elsien

Until I forgot one year and no one noticed. It was only a token present anyway, so I reverted back to just sending cards.

Pollycat

You sound (I know this is a manufactured 'dilemma) as if you feel you have to do this.

You don't 'need' to buy presents for anyone.

You should not feel 'expected' to buy presents for anyone.

I will keep buying presents for my niece & nephew when they are adults (I actually give the eldest money & the youngest a budget so he can choose what he wants) - but that is because we have a very close relationship.
I do not feel I need or am expected to buy.

Do they say 'thank you' to you for the gifts?
I got thank you texts yesterday for the Easter eggs & money I left for my niece & nephew and they are always very appreciative of what I give them.

I might just re-evaluate things if I didn't get a 'thank you' - or at least mention it to my sister.

toptrout

I stopped buying for friends kids when I stopped getting thank yous. (And I hadn't seen the children for years.) But yes carrying on after 18 years set a president you may not want to continue.

Augustus_the_Strong

You don't 'need' to buy presents for any of them, it's your choice. Whether to carry on depends on what relationship you have with the recipient. If they've grown up to be a friend in their own right, carry on (if you like); if not, or if they don't thank you or register, ie if they're taking you for granted, stop.
I have a few nieces & nephews, now all adults. I buy presents for the ones I like or see regularly & don't bother about the rest.

forzaitalia

Not being mean. My husband and I have many grandchildren on both sides, but once they were earning we stopped buying. We are on a tight budget and it costs a fortune. The fact that we rarely even got a card back once they were adults also helped with our decision!

VT82

I used to get a card and a tenner from my god-mother. One year, I got a card and no tenner. I got over it fairly quickly lol, and still appreciate the card every year.

gloriouslyhappy

I agree with most posters here, 18 is a good cut-off point, with a present on special occasions like 21st birthday, wedding, graduation etc. For ourselves, we long ago agreed on a no-presents strategy for each other's children. A card was always sent, and when attending parties, a token present - sweets, loom bands, type thing - was acceptable to bring along. This helped all of us adults, and as most children get a lot anyway, a treat day out to the movies, Science museum or the park with icecreams meant a lot more as we actually spent time with them doing something we all enjoyed.