When should I stop buying presents for my friend's children?

tangowithcash

The real issue here is you are not actually giving a present to the child, but to your friend by proxy. So when the children reach adult age continuing to give presents does start to feel a little awkward.

18 is a reasonable cut off. I like the idea of giving a 'family' gift until all children reach adult status.

Jagraf

I have one child. What I don't understand is why people insist on giving her twice as much if they have two children that I give to! Why does it have to equal out? Each child is an individual, if I give ten pounds each to two siblings, why does my DD get £20? Not that she's complaining!

lulu_92

My mum's friend used to buy presents for my sister. I never once got a present or a card from her.

BadlyWrittenPoem

elsien wrote: »

Until I forgot one year and no one noticed. It was only a token present anyway, so I reverted back to just sending cards.

If someone who usually gives me a present doesn't, I notice but I am too polite to comment.

happyinflorida

Why are you even asking this?!

Have you stopped loving her for some reason because she's turned 18?!

I don't see why it's such an awful task to have to buy her presents.

Listen to yourself.

Are you suffering financially? No - then shut up and stop being such a meanie, skin flint, ungenerous, moaning etc, etc, etc

Fujiko

I do not have nieces, nephews or godchildren, just three grandchildren so perhaps my problem is not the same, not that I regard it as a problem! One is 23, the other two are 21 and 18 respectively this year. My solution is to give a fairly large cash sum on the 18th, a larger amount on the 21st but then carry on as usual, giving them presents of much smaller amounts but roughly the same to each (depending on what I can afford at the time!) for birthdays and Christmas as I always have done. In other words, I treat them all equally. I certainly would not stop giving once they had reached 18 or 21 even if it meant the presents got smaller.

Bex_123

My mum and my aunts had a conversation about it. They agreed the rules so everyone had the same. They agreed to stop children's presents at 18. It is a bit like Martin's Christmas present rule: if everyone is treated the same and knows the rules, no upset.

Do you have children of your own? How old are they? Do they get presents.

Ps once rule is made, remember to stick to it!

Talent

If stopping pressies embarrasses you, try a little subterfuge.... it's not entirely honest but it's also not bad!
I trust that you give to charity here and there. Next time you send a card (by all means send a free eCard if you can) tell them you have made a donation to charity in their name. The next time you give a little, you can say, just to yourself if needs must, this is from my (insert relationship). Job done.

tallgirld

I think it's an individual thing. At 18 she shouldn't 'expect' gifts anyway.

I have 5 god-children and once they reach 21 I stop buying presents.

Tiptaker

Personally I'd stop when they reach 18, by which time (unless they are really close in which case you'd probably not be asking the question) you are out of touch with what they'd like as a present. I would though, tell the parent that is what you intend doing - don't ask if they agree (if they don't it puts you in a difficult position) - and if it's the 18th birthday to come then I'd make it a larger present than usual as a sort of finale recognising they have 'come of age' and the end of expecting the treatment they got as a child.