"Her" money vs "my" money

jp1964

We have been married for almost 26 years and together for 29 years, and have never had a joint account. I have never seen the point of it.

Before we started our businesses together and were working separately, both self employed, we always knew what each other earned, and each of us had a share of the bills, mortgage etc coming out of our account.

Now we both are paid equally from our companies, dividends and wages, and I pay a slightly larger proportion of the bills like food etc, council tax and the mortgage, as well as day to day costs for the kids and personal spending, simply because I work from home and organise all that side of things, if I run short, he transfers money into my account, or rather tells me to do it, as he can never remember all his online banking log in details!

If we buy things for each other we always thank each other, it may be 'our' money but we both put in equal effort in different ways to the businesses, household and family, and we each appreciate the other.

glasgowgirl80

pearl123 wrote: »

I've still got an my ex name sitting on a savings account. I don't want the association and link to him anymore but without having his signature I still linked to him via an account.
Keep you accounts separate. It might feel a little less sharing but could saving a lot of grief.

I had to fight and fight the bank to get my joint account with my ex husband closed after our divorce. I had no address for him or contact details so couldn't get his signature to do it and even though there had been no activity on the account for over a year they still wouldn't budge. They did close it eventually but only after a lot of calls and visits and I think they only did it then to shut me up!

Didn't stop me getting a joint account with my new husband though...

itsanne

Everybody's different, as the replies on here show.

We have various current accounts to maximise benefits (Santander 123 for the interest etc) - all are joint. We have ISAs - obviously they have to be individual, but they'd be joint otherwise. Each contains the same amount although I had time out of employment when we had children and my pension is smaller than OH's. We both have a credit card and the additional card for each other's account. That's so that if (when ) one of us dies the other isn't left without a credit card. We both mainly use OH's credit card because it has better benefits attached. Forty years together, that works fine for us, but it would be awkward for a couple with differing approaches to money.

ETA We thank each other for things too, despite them being paid for from our pooled money.

catkins

comeandgo wrote: »

our finances are separate and that's the way I like it. My husband has wealth he took into our marriage and I don't look at this money as anything to do with me. We do have a joint account for household items otherwise we spend our own money and buy gifts to each other from our own money. I could never use someone else's money for my upkeep.

What would happen then if you gave up work to have children or had to give up work because of illhealth?


I don't work, mainly because I would struggle to keep a job because of my health (lost 2 jobs because of it). I don't feel that my husband's money is keeping me. All money that has ever come into our house over our marriage has been OUR money, whether it was wages, some sort of win etc. Even a cheque for a birthday or Christmas present goes into the joint account.


When I buy my husband a present, whether for his birthday, Christmas or just as a surprise, neither of us feel that HE has bought it even though technically he has

borkid

catkins wrote: »

We got a joint account as soon as we got married. We have only ever had 1 joint account (no separate accounts) and it has worked for us for 34 years now.


All money that comes into the house is our money. Some of the time I was the higher wage earner, some of the time OH was and now he works full time and I don't work at all. That means really that when I buy him a present it's money he has earned that pays for it but neither of us think of it like that

We used to do this when I was a SAHM but it was difficult when I tried to buy him a present. Either I had to say 'I've just spent £x but don't ask where' or I had to squirrel away cash. When we were first married there was very little spare money and some months none at all. Once I started earning again he suggested that I kept all the money I earnt and he kept whatever was over at the end of the month ( by this time he had had a couple of promotions so more money coming in).

It wasn't about the money more that we like to surprise each other with gifts and as we keep meticulous accounts that is impossible with just a joint account.

Tomcatsmum

DH and I have been together for 18 years. We each have our own account where wages are paid. We also have joint account for food and bills. It may not work for everyone but it works for us. Things such as holidays are paid for by both of us - we have a joint account for this where we each pay a set amount per month into.

nearlyrich

We have been together 25 years and married for 17 years, we have a joint account for the bills and we pay 50% each for food and eating out etc. All other money is separate and we have never had a row about money ever...

System

nearlyrich wrote: »

We have been together 25 years and married for 17 years, we have a joint account for the bills and we pay 50% each for food and eating out etc. All other money is separate and we have never had a row about money ever...

I will have been married 30 years at the end of the month. Both of us have separate bank accounts. Out of those 30 years we only had a joint bank account for 6 months and we did nothing but row over it.

SeduLOUs

catkins wrote: »

I know lots of people do have a joint and separate accounts but I can't help wondering what happens if one person stops working (illhealth, baby etc) and is not earning any money at all

We do it by both getting paid into a joint account that all the bills go out of. Whatever is left after bills and savings goals gets split 50/50 into our personal accounts for us to do whatever we want with

If one of us lost our job/had a baby/became ill the "whatever is left" would just reduce accordingly, but would still be shared equally.

Happier_Me

Within a few weeks of meeting we treated the money we both earned as 'our' money but it was three years later, when we bought our first house, that we got our joint account. All earnings and bills go out of this account and it has worked for us for 16 years. We would have separate accounts but only to maximise interest rates on savings, for instance.

It helps that we met young with little to our names so had no assets to protect as such. For the majority of our time together I have earned more than my DH, other than during maternity leaves and stints of part time working when the children were younger. Even then, I contributed just a few thousand less most of the time.

It also helps that we have a similar attitude to money.