"Her" money vs "my" money

fairy_lights

My OH and I each get paid in to our separate account but then transfer the cost of all our bills in to a joint account. We calculate how much to pay in to the joint account based on our salary - he currently earns more than me so pays more in to the bills account meaning we're both left with the same amount of disposable income in our separate accounts.
We put money from the joint account in to our joint savings, and money from our separate accounts in to our own savings.


After escaping from an abusive marriage my mother taught me that it's very important for both partners to always have some financial independence in case things go wrong. I've also got a friend who only had a joint account with her partner and lost everything when he developed a gambling problem and blew all of their money in amusement arcades. So although it might be easier to pool resources most of the time I think it's very important to keep something in your own name because you never know what the future will bring.

arbrighton

My parents will have been married for 40 years this year. THey have NEVER had a joint account.
OH and I have been together 10 years this year, own a house together and will be married this year. It is unlikely we will get joint accounts though- his finances are complicated and mine are less so. He does major bills as he earns more and i deal with the food shop, anything to do with the dog and day to day bits.
But neither of us hides anything and I would have had a credit card on his account had he not spelt my name wrong...

comeandgo

our finances are separate and that's the way I like it. My husband has wealth he took into our marriage and I don't look at this money as anything to do with me. We do have a joint account for household items otherwise we spend our own money and buy gifts to each other from our own money. I could never use someone else's money for my upkeep.

Stevie_Palimo

I don't have and have never held joint accounts with any partner I have been with and simply pay anything that is due, I do get nice things bought for me and sometimes ask what do with the money you earn as you have nothing to pay out for only to be told well make up, shoes, clothes and handbags cost a few quid each month lol, Perhaps I should tighten the rains and open one shorty - I think I will get told to do one.

Lunar_Eclipse

Different people have divided views on this one. I'm in the old school 'traditional' camp.

As soon as DH & I moved in together, we had a joint account, though we also had our (historical) own accounts too. I would say we were a team before this point, but financially everything became 'ours' when we moved in to our first flat. At that point I earnt significantly more than DH, not that it matters; we met young and effectively both brought little to the table financially, although I didn't feel that my £5k savings were nothing at the time (it was half the deposit for our first house!)

DH says he felt everything was 'ours' within a week of meeting, when we were only 18, which was prior to uni. We moved in to our own place when we graduated.

We're now married, and everything is joint.

19lottie82

I got married in July and we still have separate finances.

My DH gives me an amount totalling half the bills and I pay them.

We know how much each other earns though.

The two main reasons for the separate accounts, are

1) His credit rating is rotten (following his last relationship) and mine is pretty good, so don't want to join finances with him and drag mine down.

2) I had my own finances for 32 years, he spends more money on "stuff" and random Tesco trips that we don't need, than I do. if we had a joint account I'd end up with steam coming out of my ears on all the stuff he would be spending "our" money on.

Many people will say it shouldn't be this way if you're married but it works for us perfectly! Neither of us are generally short of money, but if we were the other would hand over their bank card without blinking an eye.

pearl123

I've still got an my ex name sitting on a savings account. I don't want the association and link to him anymore but without having his signature I still linked to him via an account.
Keep you accounts separate. It might feel a little less sharing but could saving a lot of grief.

thriftylass

We've been together 11 years, married for 6 months. We still have separate accounts and won't have a joint account any time soon either. Don't see the point. However we see it as our, his and my money. He pays the mortgage (both on it and on deeds), car and other bits for US, I pay childcare, groceries and save for US. It's equal proportional shares of bills and I know what he earns. Whatever works for us. I'm a bit more sensible with money hence I save as much as I can for us and he has more fixed bills. Even if we had a joint account I would still have my own account for personal spends and buying hubby presents etc. If he buys me a drink I still say thank you, just politeness.

his_missus

Hubby's wage goes into one account and covers all household bills and also leaves him a few quid spending money to use as he wishes. My wage goes into my account and covers the shopping, going out, holidays and savings and leaves me a few quid spending money to use as I wish.


We know exactly what each other earns and look at our finances together regularly.


It works for us. We consider the money as "our money", it's swings and roundabouts as to who has paid for what when we go out etc.


Do whatever suits you both.

CKgeordieinlondon

After 26 years we recently got a "Two Together Railcard" that is the only thing joint we've ever had.

The mortgage is in my name so I pay that and everything property related. He pays for utilities and food. Holidays are 50/50.
Christmas he buys for his relatives , I buy for mine.
That started off pretty equal when we met, but his family has expanded so much, he now has to buy for 20 while I have 6.
Any big purchases we call a "present for the house" and split 50/50

We used to argue a lot about, who paid what when we went out, but we solved tha by putting cash in a pot each week to cover drinks, meals ,cinema etc.

It works for us. If we had children I expect it would have been different , but we didn't .

We both know how much the other earns and most importantly owes.

Despite all this I still considor everthing to be "ours", I think he feels the same