"Her" money vs "my" money

CathA

[QUOTE=

If one of you got hit by a bus and ended up in a coma with separate accounts if you don't have power of attorney can you pay all the bills with one income and no access to other persons accounts? This isn't a way to just turn everything into a join account but just if something bad happens will make your lives a million times easier.[/QUOTE]

Another point to make, which I have mentioned on another thread, is that you need to think about the regular direct debits and standing orders.
If the household dd's and so's go out of a sole account, and that account holder dies, the bank account is frozen on production of a death certificate and all payments are cancelled. I asked my hubby, who was not keen on joint accounts, that if I died would he want to be organising my funeral, grieving over me dying AND phoning myriad companies to set up new direct debits to pay the bills? He and I have a joint account that the bills go out of, admittedly he has no idea what but if anything happens to me it would be one less thing to have to worry about straight away.

maman

pathtofreedom wrote: »

I am single but for all of you who said you have some separate accounts please look into power off attorney even if you're married. http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/power-of-attorney

If one of you got hit by a bus and ended up in a coma with separate accounts if you don't have power of attorney can you pay all the bills with one income and no access to other persons accounts? This isn't a way to just turn everything into a join account but just if something bad happens will make your lives a million times easier.

That's good advice. One of the reasons we have separate accounts is so that we can access money independently if needed. Thank You.

Gra76 wrote: »

I don't see the point in separate accounts once you're married. Aren't you supposed to be spending the rest of your life with the other person? Why would you not pool resources?

We had separate accounts all the way until we got married and that worked fine.

I'll admit when we got married I was quite keen to keep my own account separate as I earn a good 50-60% more than my wife but that's not really in the spirit of marriage as far as I'm concerned. In hindsight I think I was just being selfish!

Getting halfway through the month to be told by the wife that she's had to cancel a night out because she couldn't afford it was getting old so after much discussion we pooled the money and we've been doing that for the last 11-12 years. Seems to work fine.

I look after all the finances anyway as she was never good with money and panics at the mention of it.

I don't get what I want all the time now, that's the only downside. It used to be the case that we spent whatever money we had left over after paying the bills on whatever we wanted but that wasn't working out after a while as she never had any money left over and it caused resentment when I rolled up with a new TV/laptop/clothes etc. Once she'd covered her half of the bills she really didn't have an awful lot of money left and she'd spend half the time asking me for money anyway.

I find it far more simple to just chuck it all into the pot and pool it.

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

This. I don't know how anyone can see their partner struggling whilst they're treating themselves. Obviously it only really applies if there's a huge pay gap but still. What if one parent is a stay at home? How is it possible not to share then?

I'm assuming that's what gra meant but I wouldn't be sorry for my DH if he'd blown all his money part way through the month. As I posted earlier, our system works because we're both good with money. I suppose if one of us wasn't then all the more reason to limit the damage they can inflict on the family finances. If I had a partner who was extravagant I certainly wouldn't want them having free access to all the money.


I think in the case of one parent staying at home for a while to look after children then this needs to be a shared decision and both partners need to 'take the hit' financially. If I'd done this (only took minimum maternity leave so didn't crop up) then I'd have expected half of any 'surplus' family cash in my own account.


I think it is a state of mind as I know legally it's all 'our' money in a marriage. What I can't understand is anyone who looks at their partner as a meal ticket.

Gloomendoom

If one parent stays at home to look after the family, the other is earning money for the family, not themselves.

At least that's way it used to be done when it was the norm for the husband to work and the wife to stay at home.

Kynthia

After getting married we opened a joint account but never got round to using it. A couple of years later buying our new home in joint names prompted us to start using the account for mortgage and bills, and therefore getting our salaries paid in. This made life easier when I went on maternity leave as it was all family money when baby things needed buying and my salary stopped for a while.

bullarita

Since a large proportion of marriages do not last forever it seems obvious that some financial separation makes sense. A joint account for the boring stuff and the joint good stuff (holidays), fed into in proportion to earnings, makes sense.
If I had retained a feeling of financial independence (and thus equal importance) I might not have left my first husband. I felt patronised by being 'allowed' to treat myself from OUR money, and resentful about having to check with him before indulging an interest.

Faith177

Me and OH have been together 6 years and married nearly two we don't have a joint account just our own personal accounts.

I brought my house before being with OH so already had a seperate account in my name for all the household bills. He just transfers money into my account twice a month and I allocate it where is is needed.

If the other needs money the other will help where they can

catalunya

What a great thread OP! My now husband and I had many lengthy discussions about this exact issue once we got married.


Prior to getting married, I lived in his flat, so we got a joint account for bills and food which we transferred into each month. The rest of our money was kept in our separate accounts, however, he still paid the mortgage (I didn't contribute to save it getting messy) and I paid/saved for our impending wedding.


Once married, we debated heavily about a joint account. I liked the idea, he didn't. We even argued about it. However, we decided that we trusted each other enough in every other aspect of our lives to make that joint account our main account and now everything goes into it. It makes life so much easier. No, 'oh I'll pay for this one today' anymore.


We both have separate ISAs, which we transfer into and keep both at the same level of cash. So if we were desperate to run off and leave the other at least we have some cash to do so
We, like other posters, use credit cards at xmas to keep things a surprise.


I have found it really interesting reading everyone's view, thanks for sharing.

chemistrygem

Me and my partner have been together for 4 years and have finally moved in together.

I've spent the last year working abroad so have been able to save a large chunk, where as he has only just graduated from university after having a pretty tough time money-wise.

Ideally we'd have a joint account for bills, but as my credit rating is much better than is we decided against this. Instead, we both pay in x a month into a second account that's just in his name for bills, rent etc. This does get slightly frustrating as I'm the kind of person who likes being able to do things myself, rather than constantly having to aski him has a, b and c been paid, and do we have enough to cover x, y and z (of course I trust him to pay everything and keep an eye on things, I'd just much rather we could both do it!). The plan is once his credit rating is up to scratch then we'll open a joint account.

All other things (food, meals out, Saturday morning coffee) we tend to split about 80/20. I earn a fair bit more than him at the moment, and he's currently having to pay back short term university debts so this seems the best option for us.

It seems to work okay for us, but I can't wait to open an account with both our names on it.

astoryandasong

My other half and I have a joint account for all the bills and stuff, then seperate for things like my mobile, his car etc.

It works for us- we keep a little in it for date type things like going to the cinema etc. Although tbh he never uses the card as its me who does all the food shopping!:cool:

Elbow86

Like alot of other users, my partner and I opened a joint bank account when we took on a mortgage. We pay an equal amount in to it every month and all bills (monthly and yearly) come out of it.

We also have a joint savings account for holidays, home improvements and Christmas, but as I earn double the amount my partner does, I choose to put more into this account and leave myself with the same as he has each month.

It works well for us, as he is the spender and I am the saver, he pays for us when we go out together and behind the scenes I save every penny i can.