My son rules the roost?

n1guy

Right all, we had a good talk and have come to agreement that something needs to be done starting with the sleeping arrangements. We're gonna try again, confiscating items, its of to the doctors again for help. But it finally feels like we are on the same hymn sheet and are united for a change.

loveabargain13

Did your talk involve your children? I can't believe these days kids get away with so much. When I was younger if my Mum and Dad said no, they meant no. I never had an opinion, I just went with what they told me and knew I didn't have an option.
So if you are going to start implementing changes you have to stick by them. Your the one whose in charge not the child.

z.n

OP Glad you are working together- hopefully that in itself will settle things down a bit so you can get to the bottom of things. Maybe now you feel a little bit less stressed about it you could look at ways to improve on your relationship with your son as well. A bit of approachable kind Dad rather than scared stressed Dad will help your wife and girls too.

itsanne

n1guy wrote: »

Right all, we had a good talk and have come to agreement that something needs to be done starting with the sleeping arrangements. We're gonna try again, confiscating items, its of to the doctors again for help. But it finally feels like we are on the same hymn sheet and are united for a change.

I've not posted here as others have already said anything I would have, but I'm delighted that you've got this far. The advice about finding an activity to do with your son is well worth taking too. It won't be quick or easy, but things can get better. If / when your wife wavers, it might be worth showing her this thread so she sees the unanimity of response.

While your son needs so much, don't forget he's not the only child in the family and you won't have been the only one suffering as a result of his behaviour (regardless of its cause).

Good luck.

FrankRizzo

All the best. Hope your situation improves.

Primrose

Point out to your son that he will shortly be going to secondary school so you will now be treating him like a Big Boy. If he wants to continue behaving like a small child you will treat him like a small child, dress him like a small child and pit him back in nappies. And tiu will ask his school to put him back in the babies class. He,s ol enough now to know exactly what he,s doing. You and your wife need to agree to take back the reins before he gets completely beyond control and becomes a manipulative young adult

belfastgirl23

Just to add, this organisation (NI specific) has a good reputation and a lot of experience in helping parents. They run some interesting training courses. I think you and your wife need to spend a bit of time in a neutral environment to come to some agreements about what you both are prepared to do to support your son and manage his behavioral issues. A training course might be the place to do that.

http://www.parentingni.org/

ViolaLass

Primrose wrote: »

Point out to your son that he will shortly be going to secondary school so you will now be treating him like a Big Boy. If he wants to continue behaving like a small child you will treat him like a small child, dress him like a small child and pit him back in nappies. And tiu will ask his school to put him back in the babies class. He,s ol enough now to know exactly what he,s doing. You and your wife need to agree to take back the reins before he gets completely beyond control and becomes a manipulative young adult

This sound horrific! How will humiliating the child get him on side? Put in consequences and be firm, sure, but what would be the point of putting him in nappies? He'll just take them off! And the school will not agree to put him in a younger class just because you ask them to.

theoretica

Glad to read your last more promising post OP. A couple more thoughts, and reinforcements of what others have said.

How well do your wife and your mother get on? Your mother sounds like she might be a useful resource to draw on in some way - whether come and stay, or take one or more of the kids for a little.

As has been touched on, has your wife really though about the effect this is having on her daughters, and could have in the future? Not just in the family - at school being the little sisters of the boy who sleeps with his mummy may well be horrid.

itsanne

Primrose wrote: »

Point out to your son that he will shortly be going to secondary school so you will now be treating him like a Big Boy. If he wants to continue behaving like a small child you will treat him like a small child, dress him like a small child and pit him back in nappies. And tiu will ask his school to put him back in the babies class. He,s ol enough now to know exactly what he,s doing. You and your wife need to agree to take back the reins before he gets completely beyond control and becomes a manipulative young adult

Sorry, I don't like to be simply negative, but this is wrong on so many levels it would be scary to think of the OP contemplating making use of it.

Absolutely not.