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My son rules the roost?

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  • n1guy
    n1guy Posts: 701 Forumite
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    Thanks for the advice all. Some food for thought.
  • kazwookie
    kazwookie Posts: 14,264 Forumite
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    I'd move the wife out for a week!

    As for the 11 year old, you as a parent are in charge, 11 year old is bad = no sleep overs / no games etc. end off.
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  • n1guy
    n1guy Posts: 701 Forumite
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    kazwookie wrote: »
    I'd move the wife out for a week!

    As for the 11 year old, you as a parent are in charge, 11 year old is bad = no sleep overs / no games etc. end off.

    Think this is the best option, of course all came home and I'm the bad guy as suspected. Can't win. And the thing is if we do split up who's fault will it be? Who will everyone side with? I'll still be the bad guy
  • Bennifred
    Bennifred Posts: 3,986 Forumite
    How about having your mother to stay for a while, OP? Maybe your wife will listen to her, or take note if your boy behaves whilst she is there!
    [
  • jess1974
    jess1974 Posts: 1,019 Forumite
    edited 17 March 2015 at 6:33PM
    I think the op's wife is enabling the behaviour....unless he gets her to change there is no hope for the kid...i had a friend like this whose boy was an out of control brat...he had never been told no by her....none of us invited him round to play and she was effectively ousted from our group as outings with her were such a nightmare.
    Not a popular view but if he was smashing up my house i'd have tanned his backside !!!
  • GwylimT
    GwylimT Posts: 6,530 Forumite
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    n1guy wrote: »
    Think this is the best option, of course all came home and I'm the bad guy as suspected. Can't win. And the thing is if we do split up who's fault will it be? Who will everyone side with? I'll still be the bad guy

    Do you not think that is quite a childish view you hold? Would you put how other people think before the needs of your children?
  • n1guy
    n1guy Posts: 701 Forumite
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    GwylimT wrote: »
    Do you not think that is quite a childish view you hold? Would you put how other people think before the needs of your children?

    No of course not but that is exactly how other will think.
  • GwylimT
    GwylimT Posts: 6,530 Forumite
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    n1guy wrote: »
    No of course not but that is exactly how other will think.

    And that is important because?
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
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    n1guy wrote: »
    No of course not but that is exactly how other will think.

    If what other people think concerns you, film your son the next couple of times he goes berserk.

    Show both grandmothers and his teachers the film and ask for help from them for you and your wife.
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    n1guy wrote: »
    Think this is the best option, of course all came home and I'm the bad guy as suspected. Can't win. And the thing is if we do split up who's fault will it be? Who will everyone side with? I'll still be the bad guy

    You are making this "all about me" - when the mature, adult concern is with your child.

    The priority of both you and your wife should be the behaviour of your son - and how you are enabling him to set up to fail as an adult because you two do not act as parents.

    For goodness sake, read what has been said. You and your wife are to blame for the state of affairs that exists in your home. You are not acting as one, you are both allowing your 11 year old son to dictate what happens. Don't put all the blame on your wife - you have to accept that you too are responsible for the way he behaves.
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