do i have to pay for childcare?

Jagraf

bradrock wrote: »

To clear things up a bit. Yes when she rings me and its not my time so to say yes i will have her of course if im not at work. She lives with her mother full time. I pay the 170 through csa and obviously when shes with me i feed her clothe her etc on top which is not a problem. It has not been anywhere near court. It was times she arranged me to have which i never agreed to i just never had a choice. I cannot possibly afford to pay for extra childcare

Why don't you say no next time, are you worried she will stop you seeing your daughter?

bradrock

She has stopped me on numerous occasions whenever she feels like it if i can have her i do. She knows what my jobs like she luved with it for 7 years.

Claire_A87

Maybe it's time you did start considering court then? This isn't an 'we're all out to get you' thread OP, but perhaps you didn't articulate the difficulties you've had with your ex as best as you could have done after your original post. Using a child as a weapon is reprehensible, & if that's your fear regarding saying no then you should look to get a more formal arrangement set up for your own peace of mind, and for stability for your DD.

Jagraf

Claire_A87 wrote: »

Maybe it's time you did start considering court then? This isn't an 'we're all out to get you thread' OP, but perhaps you didn't articulate the difficulties you've had with your ex as best as you could have done after your original post. Using a child as a weapon is reprehensible, & if that's your fear regarding saying no then you should look to get a more formal arrangement set up for your own peace of mind, and for stability for your DD.

I agree with this. If you are absolutely sure that you have been fair and that this is as one sided as you say,then I would go to court.

bradrock

Claire_A87 wrote: »

Maybe it's time you did start considering court then? This isn't an 'we're all out to get you thread' OP, but perhaps you didn't articulate the difficulties you've had with your ex as best as you could have done after your original post. Using a child as a weapon is reprehensible, & if that's your fear regarding saying no then you should look to get a more formal arrangement set up for your own peace of mind, and for stability for your DD.

Yeah i probably didnt explain the problems she makes etc just didnt want to start a slagging her off thread but she is difficult. Maybe court would be best i dont know all i care about is seeing her maybe legal route would be best.

Kynthia

If you have a reciprocal arrangement where you both look after the child at short notice when the other needs it then don't mess with this. However if you go to court to arrange visitation then your ex won't be able to prevent you having your child on your days but you will be expected to arrange childcare if you can't look after your child on your days.

Your ex may have put up with your unpredictable hours when you were a couple but there were a lot of things you both did as a couple that you don't have to do now.

Marisco

Kynthia wrote: »

If you have a reciprocal arrangement where you both look after the child at short notice when the other needs it then don't mess with this. However if you go to court to arrange visitation then your ex won't be able to prevent you having your child on your days but you will be expected to arrange childcare if you can't look after your child on your days.

Your ex may have put up with your unpredictable hours when you were a couple but there were a lot of things you both did as a couple that you don't have to do now.

He has to go to work though, and she knows what his work can be like, and that he's not doing it just to be awkward. He's not changed jobs, so why would she think his working arrangements would be any different from when they were together?

Jagraf

Marisco wrote: »

He has to go to work though, and she knows what his work can be like, and that he's not doing it just to be awkward. He's not changed jobs, so why would she think his working arrangements would be any different from when they were together?

Maybe her situation is changing ? Perhaps her self employed business isn't doing so well so she can't be as flexible any more?

FBaby

He has to go to work though, and she knows what his work can be like, and that he's not doing it just to be awkward. He's not changed jobs, so why would she think his working arrangements would be any different from when they were together?

Maybe he doesn't have to do these extra hours but choose to, which was fine when they were together, but not so much now. Maybe because because he used to get more notice and she doesn't believe that it is now at the last minute as he claims. Maybe because there has been an occasion or two when it wasn't because of work he decided he could have his daughter but because of something coming up with the new girlfriend. Who knows!

swingaloo

But if it goes to court the courts may set a schedule for the days he has his child. If he repeatedly has to work and this makes the schedule impossible to stick to then the court wont look favourably on him and going to court will have been a wasted exercise.