do i have to pay for childcare?

missprice

bradrock wrote: »

She pays nothing for childcare ever her mum has her.

Then she gets no money from tax credits towards childcare.
If the person ain't registered, no money.
Dead simple.
And as already mentioned maybe each time you cant have your child one or more person is put out. Your ex has to ask her mum, mum has to agree, child has to get to wherever. All this takes time out of ex's day off. And maybe, just maybe ex's mum doesn't want the child yet another day.

bradrock

These answers are laughable i ask a simple question and get a liad of !!!!. Like i said before obviously women answering dont bother i got the answer i thought was right thats all i need . thread closed

tea_lover

bradrock wrote: »

She pays nothing for childcare ever her mum has her.

Because that's the arrangement your ex has made to cover the times that a) your daughter is due to be with her and b) she needs to work.

When c) your daughter is due to be with you, and d) you have to work - that's for you to cover. Whether that's with paid childcare or the help of family/friends is up to you. But it is not your ex's responsibility to either arrange or pay for.

lulu_92

bradrock wrote: »

These answers are laughable i ask a simple question and get a liad of !!!!. Like i said before obviously women answering dont bother i got the answer i thought was right thats all i need . thread closed

"obviously women" - I'm guessing you know all of the posters personally then?

You asked a simple question but you can't post on a forum without people asking follow-up questions.

I wish you good luck, you'll need it when your ex gets tired of putting up with this arrangement.

quidsy

boo.. hoo..

saveallmymoney

(Background: I'm father and have a 50/50 shared care arrangement for my Son with his mother also I have 2 Stepdaughters who see their Dad regularly)

bradrock the advice you have been given on here is essentially correct even though you aren't liking it. I'm not sure if there is still some animosity between you and your ex which may be affecting your judgement.

You should arrange to have your daughter on a regular schedule. The regular schedule is important because it defines the appropriate maintenance you should pay to your ex, and as your daughter gets older and understands this schedule she will be hurt and disappointed if you let her down.

In the event something comes up and you cannot look after your Daughter on a scheduled day it is your responsibility to arrange childcare on those days, vice versa for your ex. This will allow you both to "have a life".

You may have to make adjustments to your life as you become a part time "single parent", some of these you may not like, but your children will one day recognise the sacrifices you have made.

Jagraf

bradrock wrote: »

These answers are laughable i ask a simple question and get a liad of !!!!. Like i said before obviously women answering dont bother i got the answer i thought was right thats all i need . thread closed

I feel that sometimes NRPs get a rough deal on forums, and NRPs tend to be men. But I have to say you're not doing anyone any favours here.

The fact that your ex has a babysitter in her mum is her business, not yours. You don't 'own' any part of your ex mother in law any more than she owns any of your relatives.

In my humble opinion you need to find a solution where you are not relying on the ex during your time with your daughter. By doing this you are creating an environment where your daughter will see you as reliant on her mum, creating an imbalance of responsibility.

You have split up, now its a business arrangement, with your only joint responsibility being your daughter. You both have to stick to the arrangements.

FBaby

In answer to the question, legally you don't have to pay anything more than the CSA tell you to, if the £170 is what they have deemed payable, then that is what you have to pay. Morally it's a different matter, what you choose to pay over and above that is up to yourself.

Actually, no offense to Marisco, but this is not in the context of your situation (since you seem that it does answer your question). Indeed, you don't have to pay anything more....when your child is not with you. It would be the same as saying that you pay maintenance so therefore her mother should pay for the meals she shares with you when she is staying with you! When your child is with you, all costs associated with your caring for her then are yours.

Now if you want to argue that you don't have set days and therefore she should pay for everything whatever days she is with you, then try that one in courts. Courts are in favours of children having routines and on this basis, would always support set days, unless you can provide a very good reason why this is not possible (doing extra hours is not going to cut it).

The reality is what you face is alienating your ex to the point where she will just act as if you don't exist. She will use you as a babysitter when it suits her, the moment she has a new man in her life who will take on your daughter too, she will probably come up with an excuse and assign blame on to you as to why your daughter can't come and visit you any longer. The ball will then be on your side to take her to courts to gain your rights. Selfish either side, but when you are faced with someone so self-centered they can't see further than their own needs, that's what often happens.

Marisco

Thing is though, if the mother phones up and asks him to have the child when it's not "his weekend", as she has to *insert reason*, does he do it? If not then the mother has a gripe. If he does, then I don't think she does have a gripe. That hasn't really been made clear. I'm a bit confused as well as to people saying he has to arrange the babysitting, is that after he has her and he's been called into work?

Or do people think he should arrange the babysitting remotely from his house/work? As for paying for it, unless I've totally misread the posts, her mother looks after the child, does the daughter pay her mother for this? If so then yes maybe he should pay something towards it, if not, then no. I'm also confused as to where holidays and paying for gf car comes into it??

bradrock

To clear things up a bit. Yes when she rings me and its not my time so to say yes i will have her of course if im not at work. She lives with her mother full time. I pay the 170 through csa and obviously when shes with me i feed her clothe her etc on top which is not a problem. It has not been anywhere near court. It was times she arranged me to have which i never agreed to i just never had a choice. I cannot possibly afford to pay for extra childcare