do i have to pay for childcare?

quidsy

So basically you want to see your child but only when it suits you & you want your ex to be flexible in her job & life to accommodate your?

How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

Babysitter or ad hoc child-minder is 30-50 a day for weekdays, god knows how much it would cost for weekends. Is your ex expected to pay for that too out of the measly £170 a month you are forced to pay?

Act like a parent, plan your work schedule around your childcare responsibilities like your ex has to do.

gayleygoo

Isn't there some employee protection regarding working overtime? You should be able to refuse to work so many hours. Or do you prefer working to seeing your daughter? You'll be missing out on so much at her age, and when you've retired you'll probably wish you hadn't worked quite so much. Do you have a good job, or are you being exploited for a low wage and ridiculous working hours?

I'd suggest that you need to have a chat with your boss and explain that your do need some sort of regularity or schedule so that you can care for your child some days during the week. You should then be able to agree set days with your ex so that she can have an actual life, with plans, as well. Then if you need to work on your days with your daughter you'll need to arrange and pay for childcare. If you can't find childcare for the days you need, then I think it would be fair to be giving the amount it would cost you to your ex, as she is simply not "free childcare" when it suits you.

I'm not sure, but you might be entitled to help with childcare through tax credits.

bradrock

I have a full time contact been working at same place 10 years 7 of which we were together so she kbows what its like. I do my best to her and regularly do and always will. I work away from home sometimes to. I can get to friday and be told im working weeken simple as that. I cant possibly afford to get childcare at that short notice .

She works self employed and picks her own hours .
Only 170 a month as some people are saying on here is a pittance is a lot of money considering my hourly rate is 6.80.

Yes i can earn more when i do overtime but a bare mobth i take home less then a 1000.

bradrock

notanewuser wrote: »

Something doesn't add up.

£170 maintenance per month implies a salary of around £17k per year. Which at 90 hours a week is the equivalent of £3.78 gross per hour.

:think:

I work up to 90 not 90 every week read my original post

bradrock

quidsy wrote: »

So basically you want to see your child but only when it suits you & you want your ex to be flexible in her job & life to accommodate your?

How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

Babysitter or ad hoc child-minder is 30-50 a day for weekdays, god knows how much it would cost for weekends. Is your ex expected to pay for that too out of the measly £170 a month you are forced to pay?

Act like a parent, plan your work schedule around your childcare responsibilities like your ex has to do.

Bit harsh really when u dont know all the facts.she can let her mum have whenever she wants i dont have parents on tap like that.
Measly 170 a month on nearly minimun wage is not measly is it

fairy_lights

If you're on the minimum wage and don't get told in advance when your shift are going to be, maybe you need to look for another job?

lulu_92

fairy_lights wrote: »

If you're on the minimum wage and don't get told in advance when your shift are going to be, maybe you need to look for another job?

I agree with this.

I was on the same wage as you this time last year and yeah it is rubbish if you don't do the overtime. But overtime should be optional.

I imagine the stress of working so much must make you quite unhappy, especially if it is time you could be spending with your child, so maybe a new job is the way to go.

Either that, or you are avoiding getting a new job with better pay and hours to get out of paying more maintenance. But I do agree with giving people the benefit of the doubt.

FBaby

fairy_lights wrote: »

If you're on the minimum wage and don't get told in advance when your shift are going to be, maybe you need to look for another job?

I was going to say that. It's not just your ex you are letting down as the result of such lack of flexibility, but your daughter. It must not be nice to think that she is going to see her daddy after 2 weeks to be let down and instead get to stay with a frustrated mum.

Of course, it is not a case of just doing it, but maybe if you showed your ex and your daughter that you are trying to find something else, it might go down a bit better in the meantime. Have you ever spoken to your boss about it and see whether there can be some flexibility? Are the week-end hours the extra ones? If so, can you tell your boss that you can't do them at all? At least tell him you are not available on the week-ends when your are ex something specifically planned (and you can ask her to tell you in advance).

Once again, if you looked at it from her point of view rather than just yours, she probably would be less annoyed about it.

bradrock

Why the hell would i look for another job when i enjoy mine and they are hardly easy to find. I never " let my daughter down " some weeks i see her more then her mother and very regular even on a week when i do do crazy hours. I have her 2 weeks in summer holidays and if im not working weekend will have her anyway.

A post earlier in this thread said legally i dont have to pay for extra childcare thats all i really needed to know as she earns a lot more then me and she gets my money on top which fine but i cant magic extra money can i.

fairy_lights

bradrock wrote: »

Why the hell would i look for another job when i enjoy mine and they are hardly easy to find.

Because you've already said it doesn't pay very much and makes it difficult to plan your life around?
You're right job's aren't easy to find but there's no harm in at least looking.