do i have to pay for childcare?

lulu_92

bradrock wrote: »

Why the hell would i look for another job when i enjoy mine and they are hardly easy to find. I never " let my daughter down " some weeks i see her more then her mother and very regular even on a week when i do do crazy hours. I have her 2 weeks in summer holidays and if im not working weekend will have her anyway.

A post earlier in this thread said legally i dont have to pay for extra childcare thats all i really needed to know as she earns a lot more then me and she gets my money on top which fine but i cant magic extra money can i.

You don't legally have to pay more maintenance, but you should be paying for childcare arrangements on the days you see your daughter and you are at work. You can't pick and choose.

Why not apply for flexible working?

quidsy

So you posted as you hoiped everyone would pat you on the back & say poor you, what a cow your ex is?

Sorry. Doesn't work like that. Your replies also show how little you care about the inconvience you are putting your ex & now her mother through.

Why should her mum step in as free childcare when it is YOU who broke the visitation. The onus is on YOU to find alternate care when your job takes priority over the child.

Your ex is self employed & she may be able to chose her hours but maybe she works when the little one is at school so that she can have spare time on the weekends you are supposed to look after YOUR child. But you clearly resent her having that freedom. Your posts are very telling as to your attitude towards your ex.

FBaby

Ok, very clearly you are not prepared to appreciate how your choice of job puts your ex at your mercy to arrange her life, or maybe you actually do like it like this?

Just hope for you she doesn't lose patience and decides to only think of herself too. It could result in her meeting someone else and on the day before you are due to spend a nice week-end with your daughter, she announces that her new fellow and she are taking your daughter away for the week-end, so you'll have to wait until the next one to see her, if you're lucky.

bradrock

Obviously 99% of the replys are from women who dont live in the real world. I agreed to no set days its what she changes when she feels like so its same both ways.
Can never get a straight answer on this site.

quidsy

Ahh yes, the old, can't be me in the wrong, must be the women. Obvs you live in your own universe where you are king. Screw everyone else & what might inconvenience them right?

You have stated that it is you who cant do the agreed alternate weekends due to your job, you have a choice, either pay childcare when you are working instead of looking after the kid on agreed days or tell your boss you need every other weekend off.

Claire_A87

bradrock wrote: »

Can never get a straight answer on this site.

...or not the one you were looking for anyway.

Perhaps you just haven't articulated very well the ins and outs of the situation, but if you take a minute to read your posts back it does rather sound like you've been allowed to be flexible regarding when to have your DD because of your job, & now you're kicking off because your ex wants you to take responsibility for the days you're supposed to have her. That's how it reads, & that's why people have responded the way they have. Don't get petulant about it, just take it with a pinch of salt. If you wanted a straight legal answer don't post on an MSE relationships forum!

bradrock

I do have a choice yes and like it said in the post before legally i dont have to so i wont oretty simple really..

lulu_92

quidsy wrote: »

Ahh yes, the old, can't be me in the wrong, must be the women. Obvs you live in your own universe where you are king. Screw everyone else & what might inconvenience them right?

You have stated that it is you who cant do the agreed alternate weekends due to your job, you have a choice, either pay childcare when you are working instead of looking after the kid on agreed days or tell your boss you need every other weekend off.

I think you find it's the old "Nobody was agreeing with me so now I'm going to play the victim"

You have many options to make the situation better. The fact that you do not want to take these options is your problem and nobody else's.

If you think the option is to support your child with the absolute bare minimum and expect your ex to pick her up when you have to drop her for work reasons then you are the one who has no idea what the real world is like.

I obviously do not know the ins and outs of the relationship with your ex but when there's a child involved you can't just think about yourself, you can't be pointing the finger at your ex all the time and you need to take some of the responsibility.

bradrock

Marisco wrote: »

In answer to the question, legally you don't have to pay anything more than the CSA tell you to, if the £170 is what they have deemed payable, then that is what you have to pay. Morally it's a different matter, what you choose to pay over and above that is up to yourself.

This was the only post i needed cheers

quidsy

Well not really cause that is money for the child NOT for additional childcare when you cant be arsed to look after the kid. Your ex has every right to say sorry, I've got plans, find alternative arrangements.