do i have to pay for childcare?

Jagraf

I got to the point where I stopped thinking about it when making my plans. I just ensured all bases were covered so that I didn't have to rely on anything at all. Daughter never relies on him.

Marisco

Jagraf wrote: »

Can't your Girlfriend look after your daughter while you work?

Maybe the ex won't allow it. I remember offering one time when I was between jobs, to look after oh's kids, as his ex was having a problem with childcare. You'd think I said I was going to sell them into slavery!! :eek: She packed in work in the end and lived off benefits, all because she didn't want me to help!

ETA forgot to add, oh worked away a lot, and no, he couldn't have changed jobs

bradrock

My girlfriend would drop her off in the morning idmf i was working but she kicked off with her all the time so she wont do it anymore cant blame her really. Same with my parents they wont go near her coz she blows a fuse over nothing.

Last year she put my daughters car seat straight through my girlfriends back window and got arrested in front of my daughter. We had to pay for the window she got a night in the cells.

Shes burning her own bridges.

Jagraf

She's not burning her own bridges is she. How is she doing that?

Marisco

bradrock wrote: »

My girlfriend would drop her off in the morning idmf i was working but she kicked off with her all the time so she wont do it anymore cant blame her really. Same with my parents they wont go near her coz she blows a fuse over nothing.

Last year she put my daughters car seat straight through my girlfriends back window and got arrested in front of my daughter. We had to pay for the window she got a night in the cells.

Shes burning her own bridges.

Jagraf wrote: »

She's not burning her own bridges is she. How is she doing that?

Maybe because of the bolded bits above? People will help, but not if she behaves like that with them, so she's cutting off her nose to spite her face. She could be desperate for help one day but won't get it because of past behaviour.

bradrock

Marisco wrote: »

Maybe because of the bolded bits above? People will help, but not if she behaves like that with them, so she's cutting off her nose to spite her face. She could be desperate for help one day but won't get it because of past behaviour.

Exactly. Even her own mother has nearly had enough.

duchy

bradrock wrote: »

Exactly. Even her own mother has nearly had enough.

So you add to a difficult situation with her Mother by demanding granny babysits on "your" weekends ................and you seriously don't think you are part of the problem ?

I feel for your child- she;s just a pawn in the silly power game you are trying to play with her mother. Try putting the child 's needs first instead of your wants !

If she gets the message you are transient in her life now......as a teenager she may very well decide you aren't worth the bother- but if you are a stable part of her life now - odds are greater of her still wanting you around later when she's old enough to decide for herself.

FBaby

Sounds like this child has two parents who can't wait to get rid of her to get on with their lives without her. It's quite something when parents start arguing over NOT having their kids rather than the other way around.

liney

If you are designated responsible adult on X day, then you can't just go to work at the drop of a hat on that day. It's not that difficult to understand is it?

Gigglepig

Just because people disagree with you don't make them idiots.

You don't come across well at all, by refusing to take responsibility (including the logistical and financial responsibility of childcare on your days) for your child following a set routine. You are not a random babysitter, you are her dad.