Big age gap in relationship - experiences wanted

System

If I was the older woman I feel like I would have to apologise to his family and friends for the big age gap. The word 'Cougar' doesn't spring to mind but 'Cradle Snatcher' does.

I have to say, those are my own personal feelings. I applaud you who are in/have been in relationships with a big age gap that have worked successfully and I would never sit in judgement of someone elses relationship. Just my own.

AmyTurtle

duchy wrote: »

She maybe didn't expect forty good years with him either with his track record before his health failed.

Yes, they did have lots of good times, but the fact remains you are more likely to become a carer to your partner if they are significantly older than you. That may bother some people more than others. I have only admiration for those who do it, but having cared for my grandmother and mother over the years, I hope I never have to it for my partner (of course I would though, if necessary).

January20

Judi wrote: »

If I was the older woman I feel like I would have to apologise to his family and friends for the big age gap. The word 'Cougar' doesn't spring to mind but 'Cradle Snatcher' does.

I have to say, those are my own personal feelings. I applaud you who are in/have been in relationships with a big age gap that have worked successfully and I would never sit in judgement of someone elses relationship. Just my own.

Of course you would judge, Judi! Indeed you are judging in this post by using the very negative terminology of not only "cougar" but " Cradle Snatcher"! So horrible and designed to insult women in a very misogynistic and sexist way. I don't remember reading similar words towards men in this thread!

Apologise to his family! OMG, I've heard everything now! because an adult man cannot make his own mind up about the woman he dates, can he?

Interesting that you - and society in general - have such a problem with age gaps when it's the woman who is older! Wake up! It's the 21st century! Women live longer anyway! Usually take better care of themselves also, so look better longer! (my ex used to get really irritated as people always thought he looked older than me!)

kaya

I married a woman who was 12 years older than me when I left school, it lasted 18months but she couldn't keep her legs together, ten years ago I married my current wife who is 12 years younger than me , we have been together 16 years now , age is just a number in most cases although I was well below the age of consent(13) when my first "older wife" started getting involved with me which was about 30 years ago, nowadays she would be called a peadophile and groomer for what she did which I suppose is right, didn't seem that way to me at the time but with hindsight........l I suppose I could go to the law and begin prosecuting her but that wouldnt achieve anything, anyway as I said age is just a number so long as you are happy and share a few common Interests

System

Of course you would judge, Judi! Indeed you are judging in this post by using the very negative terminology of not only "cougar" and " Cradle Snatcher"! I don't remember reading such words towards men in this thread!

Apologise to his family! OMG, I've heard everything now! because an adult man cannot make his own mind up about the woman he dates, can he?

Its all about my own perception on life, how ive been bought up if you like. I suppose I'm stuck in the middle ages. I have some pretty old fashioned views but it doesn't mean to say I'm right about them.

Marshmallow82

How old are you OP? if you don't mind me asking

purpleshoes_2

A member of my family is in a relationship with someone 15 years older, long term. She has no apology to make to us, shes not a cougar, neither is she a cradle snatcher, sometimes people of different ages fall in love.

January20

justme111 wrote: »

January , just out of interest - you say you would not discount a relationship with a big age gap - what if the age gap was 30 years?

I'm 52, so that would mean a 22 year old (my daughter's age :eek:) or an 82 year old (older than my father).

When I put that comment, I hadn't thought in terms of 30 years, or any number of years actually.

If I'm thinking about in a sensible way, then the answer is no, I wouldn't because I would not want a relationship with somebody in their 20s or their 80s as, looking at my daughter's male friends, they are just little boys therefore I wouldn't have much in common with such a young man, and I can't ever think of an instance where I was attracted to an 80+year old!

If you insisted on a number, I would probably say 10-15 years either way. I do worry that I don't find older men attractive. I really do. Apart from one or two instances, all the men in my life have been younger.

However, this figure of 10-15 years would be a bit of a lie because in reality, I'm led much more led by my emotions than by reason. A person is much more to me than the sum of their years, so I could meet this irresistible 82 yo and be happy ever after :rotfl:

January20

Judi wrote: »

Its all about my own perception on life, how ive been bought up if you like. I suppose I'm stuck in the middle ages. I have some pretty old fashioned views but it doesn't mean to say I'm right about them.

If would be a boring world if we all agreed all the time and all thought the same thing, Judi!

System

purpleshoes wrote: »

A member of my family is in a relationship with someone 15 years older, long term. She has no apology to make to us, shes not a cougar, neither is she a cradle snatcher, sometimes people of different ages fall in love.

Of course they do.