We all need to be heard for a little while.

elsien

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Ok
Now officially worried about NVQ been looking at the modules for the last hour with a brain freeze

Panicking panicking panic

That's what assessors are for - to turn NVQ gibberish into manageable learning plans. Panic not - reading the outcomes for the first time makes everyone panic. It won't be as bad as it looks at first sight.

elsien

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Yes. You can't force them to be helped and there will be no incentive currently.

Would their medical team sort out a psych assessment?

No medical team except the GP. Hospital has basically said go home and get your life back. Subtext - stop wasting our time, we've tested everything there is to test. No previous mental health issues, so no other contacts to refer to.

mellymoo74

The legalese bit is fine plus point to HSE you spend a aaages reading gibberish it ends up making sense.

I don't even know how to do a storyboard I am officially an idiot.

Got an audit tomorrow yay (that was sarcasm)

mellymoo74

See if GP will refer for psych assessment they clearly need help understanding that it's not necessarily physical

elsien

That makes me an idiot as well then. I thought storyboards were for making films.

Waves_and_Smiles

Yes it does, elsien. They need to want to address the true reason. In my case I was lucky to have a very good psychotherapist at the time who continually told me that she was aware that I was manipulating people. She did this in a very gentle way and always said that she knew there was a reason why I was doing so and she knew that I was hurting very much but that no one could help me until I told my reasons. It took 3 years before I finally told my teacher friend what was truly happening. Everyone had guessed in my case long beforehand but they couldn't help me until I admitted it.

I fully admit that I drove people insane until then. I was giving everyone different stories and coming up with new dramatic scenarios on a weekly basis. Some people got very cross with me, understandably so. The reasons for attention seeking aren't always as big as mine but they still feel huge to the person who is doing it. Until the person is willing to admit what her real problem is things will go round in circles. Sadly, a lot of people who choose to do this end up driving people away which isn't what they want to do at all. But understandably people burn out from the constant drama.

Ultimately, the person has to admit why they feel that they constantly need attention, then everyone can work towards fixing the real problem. There are people who never do that and carry on the behaviours for their whole lives and it is very hard to help them.

mellymoo74

Thank god for that.

Do you do one for each module overall element of the module who knows.

It looks like it's a project plan I think.

Why did I think I could do this? Doesn't help that OH is not the most supportive had a call with a HSE Director today for a role within automotive that's walking distance OHs contribution 'I thought you liked the people where you are why would you mive' er cos I need to earn enough to keep both of us and 3 days a week won't cut it.

Waves_and_Smiles

Another trick is not to play into the drama. Always acknowledge that someone is pain but listen, tell them it must be hard for them, then discuss something else, preferably something positive. My psychotherapist used to take this a step further with me and tell me that I was being boring! She did know me well enough though to know that I would take it well.

It is important to tell the person that you can see that they are unhappy but don't get drawn into it. It protects you and might just force them into discussing the real reason behind their behaviour. It certainly worked for me because once the attention stopped all I was left with was the truth which I eventually admitted. Then all of my drama and manipulation stopped because I could finally say to people I am hurting because I was abused and didn't need to lie anymore. Much better for me because I found people wanted to support me for the real reason and much better for others because I didn't drive everyone mad with constant dramatic scenarios.

elsien

Just Googled storyboard. Sounds like a reflective account. If so, there might be some crossover between elements, and you could plan one storyboard to cover the relevant bits of the different elements. Unless I've completely misunderstood, in which case ignore me!

Edit -WaS, I'm geographically too far away to be of practical help. I'm just catching the flak from those who are there day to day. I'll pass the info on if I may though, and see if they are able to take step back - I suspect they will find it very hard to stick to consistently. Families can be too close sometimes to separate everything out. The person stayed with me for a couple of weeks and the constant negative thinking was very draining.

Waves_and_Smiles

I find it very draining to be around someone constantly negative. The person sounds very unhappy but they really aren't helping themselves. I would definitely say tell the people concerned to not play into the drama, acknowledge it and move on. It is hard to do that but if they don't they will just get burnt out and that isn't any good for the person involved or them. Also, as long as they go along with the behaviour there is no incentive for the person to stop doing it, I only stopped and admitted the truth when people stopped reacting to it so the only way for me for to gain the comfort I craved was to be honest.

I am going to guess here and may be wrong but it sounds to me as if the person is afraid of being well. Being well brings responsibility and the pressure of everyday life. They are possibly very scared of that and perhaps also of people stepping back from them, it can feel safe to be ill, it means you won;t have to do things for yourself or be forgotten. If that scenario was true I would opt for gentle encouragement to do more things and lots of reassurance that people will be standing with them during it. They will fight it because they are scared but ultimately it may give them more confidence and reduce the need for negative behaviour.