We all need to be heard for a little while.

elsien

I think as long as they get a diagnosis of some sort they don't care what it is. They seem to need the validation of being ill, for some reason. Their world has shrunk so much through choices they've made (not through illness) that all that's left to think about is health, and the more they think about it the more dependent they become. It's a real vicious circle.
It's frustrating for those around them because there's also so much inconsistency it's hard to know how to deal with it without getting cross, and knowing what is really a problem and what is exaggerated because there is definitely exaggeration going on. I hate to say attention seeking because that sounds derogatory, but that does seem to be part of it as well.
Edit - this is not someone with long standing health problems, physical or otherwise, it's a comparatively new development.
I've advised the people closest to contact the GP with their concerns. Couldn't think what else to suggest.

Waves_and_Smiles

Having too much time to think can also make it much worse. It is possible that there is an element of them looking for attention by doing so but in that case there is a reason that they feel they need more attention, if that is addressed then the symptoms may ease.

It is a grey area between exaggerating symptoms to get people to realise that you are suffering and want help and really believing that you have the illnesses. What starts out as a way to get people to care for you can easily cross into believing you truly have the condition. In my case I don't do it for attention, I absolutely hate it and wish it would stop but I can convince myself that I am dying of almost anything and its horrid.

I have met people who exaggerate or create conditions for attention but there is always a reason why they feel the need to do that, be it they're lonely or unhappy about something else.

Something I did do while a very emotionally disturbed teenager was tell my classmates that I was terminally ill. I wanted them to like me rather than bully me and to my confused mind at the time I thought it would work (it didn't). After a few weeks however I began to believe that I really was terminally ill and became very afraid. If you believe it is for attention try to find out what their motivation is for doing this and address that if possible.

Whether they truly have the illnesses or not you were correct to inform their GP. It is a symptom that something is wrong whether they really believe it or not. The underlying cause needs to be dealt with. They are unhappy no matter what the cause.

elsien

Aaarghh, why is life so complicated sometimes. They say things come in threes, two down one to go.
Magic wand anyone?

Waves_and_Smiles

Oh dear, deep breath! Have a cuddle with Gitdog!

I'm on a roll now...

The problem with attention-seeking behaviours is they are so annoying for everyone else around the person. I get annoyed at it myself which I have no right to because a long time ago I did it an awful lot. I was brought up with it, my mother would overdose herself on insulin to get attention, as I have said my dad told me that we were going to play a game with my mother once when he pretended that he had been mugged. I copied this at the age of 16 and threw my bag over a wall and pretended too that I had been mugged.

The thing to remember is that is always a reason. In my dad's case he was under so much pressure caring for my mother and myself that no one ever considered him. In my case I was being abused but was too ashamed to tell anyone. I wanted to be rescued and looked after but I couldn't tell anyone why so I created scenarios so that people were forced to care for me and so that for a little while I could feel protected. Once I finally told the truth the behaviours stopped because I didn't have to pretend anymore and the reality of my situation was being addressed.

Attention seeking behaviour in itself is a symptom of a bigger problem, it just isn't always easy to find out what the real cause is.

elsien

I've told Gitdog he's under WaS's orders to be nice, don't gas me, and keep his elbows out of my bladder. On those conditions, cuddles may now commence.

tea_lover

Maybe there's a magic wand somewhere in the duvet fort? Get in here with gitdog and we'll have a look and a biscuit, of course.

Waves_and_Smiles

Perfectly correct, elsien! He needs to be a good doggie to his mummy!

elsien

WaS, completely agree about the annoying bit. Another example - Person won't do anything because they say they can't see (eyes are fine), so expect it all doing for them, but can still manage to find the tv remote and happily watch tv all day. So people around them are feeling manipulated, which is not conducive to trying to address underlying issues. I think they probably are very unhappy, but with no sign of wanting to identify and address reasons, it's all ground to a halt. Doesn't personal responsibility need to come into it somewhere as well, for things to get better?

mellymoo74

Ok
Now officially worried about NVQ been looking at the modules for the last hour with a brain freeze

Panicking panicking panic

mellymoo74

elsien wrote: »

WaS, completely agree about the annoying bit. Another example - Person won't do anything because they say they can't see (eyes are fine), so expect it all doing for them, but can still manage to find the tv remote and happily watch tv all day. So people around them are feeling manipulated, which is not conducive to trying to address underlying issues. I think they probably are very unhappy, but with no sign of wanting to identify and address reasons, it's all ground to a halt. Doesn't personal responsibility need to come into it somewhere as well, for things to get better?

Yes. You can't force them to be helped and there will be no incentive currently.

Would their medical team sort out a psych assessment?