We all need to be heard for a little while.

lostinrates

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Phew! Now onto me!

Be proud everyone(please?)! I got up at 8am and walked around the block with WaSp without a blanket! In the daylight! Granted I picked my day and time carefully because it is very quiet outside but I did it! I was very nervous but I kept my head up and didn't give in so I managed to stay out for 15 minutes exposed to the world where I could be seen! Then I got indoors and burst into tears but nevermind that. I am going to do it again soon!

This is probably the best thing I have read on this thread.

This excites me more than any outing you have done. I am happy and proud.

As others have said, its not that weird to hug trees at all. We have for particular hug worthy trees at home.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, thank you, LIR! Only here would people realise what a big thing this is for me to achieve. It has been years since I walked around the street without a blanket, nevermind lifted my head up and looked at my surroundings. I would say to everyone notice the air on your face and the breeze in your hair, it is the most wonderful feeling! I feel a bit like I'm choking in this flat now, the air feels way too still and musty. I have thrown windows open!

Wasp may laugh at me and cringe a lot but I liked hugging my tree. It is simple things like actually feeling the bark when I could only remember vaguely what it felt like. I was touching people's bushes in their front gardens, too. I have always loved plants.

I am actually looking forward to going out again right now which is a small miracle in itself!

whitewing

Oh WaS, what a wonderful post to log on to. I am so proud of us all!

I did have refresher driving lessons a few years ago. I know logically that I am a good driver (you peeps are right that I am better anyway because I am in control). It does affect my daily life - but I kind of don't mind - but it really affects DH as he is the one who has to do all the popping to the shops etc. I had decided that I was going to wait for driverless cars. My fear started with parking actually. I can't get my head around how to get the car into a perpendicular space. The point is that I don't need to get my head around it, I just need to do it.

Lol, maybe one day I'll get up at 8am and go for a drive around the block!

It could be our Easter holiday motto - a mental block around the block!

(Going to hide for a bit now to consider scary thoughts).

katsu

White wing. Park in other designs of spaces? drive to a big supermarket and park at the back of the car park with empty spaces you can practice in?

WaS, lovely news that you are doing so well. Many congratulations and best wishes. I know what you mean about the house feeling stuffy; when we come back from long days out side it feels so much less fresh indoors.

I can't wait to hear about your next trip outside for air. All the best.

whitewing

Borderline personality disorder person:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/brave-mum-reveals-how-battling-5450833

mellymoo74

Well done WaS

metalswan

:jThanks everyone, did not mean to steal any of WaS's thunder, just wanted to illustrate how much she inspires and energises everyone. Still very, very impressed and proud WaS!

Also, WaS you are not just accepted here, can't you feel the pride, unconditional love and support shining from every post?

Thanks for the welcome into team WaS Code, I know I mostly lurk but you may not get rid of me now:o

Hugs or warm handshakes whitewing, driving was a problem for me for a while. Spent the whole of my first time out as a new driver crying as we went round and round a quiet block at 5 miles an hour until my confidence grew. Could Dh drive you to somewhere quiet and swap seats so you can practice in a very low stress place for a bit? Sending you a bucket load of confidence and calm vibes:)

I'm on a roll now:j I'm just off to do a small part of something towards a different goal I set myself. I'm going to do 2 minutes on my pushbike before work. Will be on a 25 hour sleep-in shift, so don't worry that I've freaked out and disappeared.

Thanks everyone, you're all brilliant! Have a lovely day xx

Waves_and_Smiles

That's wonderful metalswan, you are doing so well! I hope work is bearable and you get a good sleep! I remember sleep-ins, I always developed insomnia so would sit up watching tv. The morning staff often came in to find me wrapped up in a blanket on the couch.

Don't spend too long with the scary thoughts, whitewing! Give DD a cuddle and do something nice together. Is littlewing looking forward to Easter?

WaSp is getting over-enthusiastic and suggested I go with him to Asda. Errr, no. Entering shops and other big buildings is a problem all of it's own. Another thing that is rarely mentioned about psychosis is sensory issues. As I have said I always sit in silence because sounds are extremely loud to me and more than one sound at once blends together into a terrifying roar and I can't differentiate between them. Lighting is the same and a supermarket with many sounds, bright lights and people will definitely take a while to work up to. Notice I am not saying impossible though, I hope to manage it eventually!

Solarjunkie

Well, you have managed to get to animal sanctuaries, Asda at 1am is a distinct future possibility! But maybe aim to start with your local Spar just after closing, one step at a time.

mellymoo74

4 hours sleep, cancelled driving lesson, spent last two hours cleaning yesterday I ate 3 potato wedges not even had smoothie yet.