We all need to be heard for a little while.

Pyxis

Tealover, FOH.....Formerly Other Half.....but pun with foe!:D







WaS, did you survive the window-men/doormen?

Waves_and_Smiles

It's 4am. It is silent, WaSp is asleep and I am sitting here in pj's drinking tea. It is bliss!

I eventually hid in bed yesterday, I couldn't take it anymore. At 6pm door and window men arrived and said they didn't have time for the work today and they would do it tomorrow instead. Argh! So we are in for a repeat performance of yesterday, hence I am awake really early to enjoy a few hours of silence when I know that no one is going to appear and there will be no building noises.

I reached a point yesterday of asking WaSp if we wouldn't do better to move into the hotel that is a short walk away, I am finding it so difficult to cope with this. But that would be expensive and silly and hopefully after today it will be all over. Poor WaSp ended up with a sandwich for dinner yesterday because people were still working in the hall until 8pm and I told him he couldn't cook because they would smell it and know what we were cooking, I got a tad hysterical about this. Daft I know, but that's how bad the paranoia is. My reaction to people even just being outside the front door is to hide in a corner covered in a blanket and not move a muscle until they are gone. Unfortunately this also extends to WaSp who gets glared at if he talks in a normal voice because I am scared that they will hear him. The poor man was trying to talk to me and I kept shushing him and not responding because I didn't want them to hear me speak. He was probably very relieved when I went to bed and left him alone. He was also able to remove the sofa which I had pushed up against the front door for double protection. WaSp is biting his tongue a lot and I know that I am being ridiculous. This doesn't stop me.

Contrary to normal it would almost be better if I was out when there are workmen outside the front door, at the windows and coming into the flat. I have a huge paranoia about people being in my space and judging me in my everyday life. This isn't possible however due to someone needing to be here to let them in and the car still being in the car hospital. The idea of a hotel room still has its appeal, particularly as they are replacing the bannisters on the stairs in the hallway, this will take longer than 2 days.

So I have 3 hours before it all starts again. I shall enjoy the complete silence and try to get brave enough to make it through day two.

Although now I'm bored. Anyone awake yet? Poke. Poke poke.

Wait what? It's 6am and the builders have started! Too early! *scrambles for blankets*

Pyxis

Hallo WaS!

Oh dear! What a horrid time for you!
Surely they haven't started work at 6am? I've never known builders start before 8.

But listen, the earlier they start, the sooner they finish!


Could WaSp have a word with them, explain you're unwell, (he doesn't have to specify), and ask them to keep the noise down outside the flat? And he could put a notice outside the front door to remind them! Also if they know you're unwell, they won't be surprised to find you 'in bed' or 'in blanket'. You could always say it's the migraines.

Will WaSp be there all day today? If so, then you won't have to deal with them.

It's such a shame you can't listen to music, to drown out noise!

Did they do any windows in your flat yesterday? Or just the door?

I know! Why not think of all this commotion, loud voices and clattering/drills as the vocalised birth pains of a brand new flat block! A lovely new block is being born!

Waves_and_Smiles

Good morning Pyxis!

They haven't started work yet but are all gathered on the landing chatting and are carrying tools in. They also haven't done any windows yet, apparently that starts today. I was contemplating asking WaSp to tell them that I am unwell, that way they may not gather outside the door and chat, they also play music on the landing which really isn't helping with the overall noise and my blind panic. The man upstairs is also dog-sitting for his friends dog for a week. Hence music goes on, the builders yell at each other from the bottom of the building to the top, hammering and drilling starts and the dog starts barking continuously so the man upstairs yells at it. I love dogs and normally wouldn't mind but the barking is just adding to the various noises which my brain is having a big problem filtering and the voices are shouting louder to be heard! I am the person who can't have the TV on most days because I can;t filter the sound properly.

WaSp will be in and out to the car hospital and hopefully bringing the car back this afternoon so some of the day will be me here alone. Hopefully that won't be during the part of the day where the windows are replaced. Milliefleur's television has stopped working, too and she wants WaSp to have a look at it (he used to repair tv's) but of course he can't because we have no car. He will go tomorrow if the car is fine which means a bunch of hours by myself with it all and panicccccc!

A lovely new block in the making is a good way to think about it. The previous landlord didn't look after the building well at all so the new landlord is having to do all of this just to get it up to insurance standards. Apparently they start on the roof in a few days, too.

I also need to cancel my carer again in case she clashes with the window replacement. Let's add a phone call to everything else, too!

I am staying in the duvet fort forever!

Pyxis

How come the man upstairs has a dog, albeit temporarily, when no pets are allowed?

Waves_and_Smiles

He is breaking the rules there, he isn't supposed to have pets on the premises at all. I have no doubt it is a lovely dog but it barks at the slightest noise, then he yells at it (which upsets me because I understand how the dog feels and I hate animals being yelled at) and it just adds to the general cacophony going on.

Waves_and_Smiles

Erm...this is random. Am I narcissistic? I have just read something that made me think I might be. I don't want to be, that's horrible! I am so sorry if I come over self-absorbed to anyone here, if I talk about me it is because I have had so much therapy looking at my own motivations and I monitor myself constantly to try and stay healthy. I try to put myself in others shoes so that I can understand how they feel which is why I compare others situations to my own. I honestly don't think that everything is about me all of the time and do care about others feelings. I am really sorry if I have ever come across that way.

On the other hand I am paranoid and panicking so might be anxious over nothing and seeing things that aren't there. Is worrying about being narcissistic, narcissistic in itself? I'll shut up before I dig a deeper hole. I am just really sorry if I have ever been selfish to anyone here, I never meant to be and do really care about all of you (Shut up, WaS!).

I'm a mess, can you tell? (Sorry).

elsien

Whizzing in to say that no WaS you are most definitely not narcissistic. That's the paranoia talking !!!!!!!!, so tell it and any stupid voices to go away.
You are kind, and lovely, and warm, and sharing. You think about others even when you're having a really bad day. This thread helps people and you are the main part of it. Don't even think about going away or it'll be wet fish time again!
It's one more day, that's all. You can do it. Think of all the reduced heating bills and better sound reduction from your shiny new windows. This too will pass.

tea_lover

WaS - I have no medical knowledge or owt like that but you don't come across as narcissistic at all to me. You certainly don't sound self-involved! We all talk about ourselves on here, guess that's just how a forum conversation works. You certainly show a great interest and care in everyone else and I'm sure that wouldn't be the case if you were narcissistic.

To a tiny degree I can understand some of your pain at the moment - I hate having people in my space, especially in my home. I could never cook with other people in the house! Hopefully them starting early means that it will all be over by the end of the day.... are you able to just stay in bed out of the way today? That would be my plan

Pyxis - I think FOH might be a winner!

Pyxis

I second everything Elsien said!
You are definitely not narcissistic; you are explaining and describing what you are feeling, which is what helps so many people, and, after all, is the whole point of this thread.... To be heard for a little while.

I know when I post about my worries and traumas, I am concerned that they may not seem like anything to other people, but to me they are huge, seemingly insurmountable problems at the time. I would not do that on any other thread but this, and I feel safe to do so here because I know deep down that people will understand my fear even if they don't see the 'problem' as a big one.

It is that understanding that is the best thing about this thread, the unconditional regard and acceptance of what others are feeling.

So let it all out, WaS, we understand what you are going through, and certainly don't see it as narcissistic or selfish. Quite the contrary. You took a big risk starting this thread, but luckily you met us lot! the bestest Team WaS you could imagine!