Two people didn't turn up to stag do and I'm out £100

Pollycat

Snakey wrote: »

It wouldn't happen. To start with they wouldn't organise it in the first place, but if they did they would automatically make everybody pay up front because they'd assume that everybody else is exactly like them. The OP is in this situation because it didn't occur to him for one second that any of these complete strangers could possibly let him down.

The only excuse the no-shows have is if the OP did not make it clear that it was being paid for in advance and that it wasn't refundable. And this does sometimes happen when the OP is naive as above and just assumes that everything will turn out exactly as planned and there'll be no issues. Most people don't do a lot of things like go-karting in their everyday lives and so it's not the case that everybody "ought to know" that there will be a non-refundable deposit. If the no-shows didn't know that anybody would be out of pocket, then they aren't guilty of anything worse than letting the groom down by not coming to his do.

I think most people learn this lesson at some point in their lives. Don't lend money to people unless you are happy to never see it again. You can try more e-mails, and of course it's possible that they intend to pay you but are disorganised/lazy (as we already know), but I suspect you'll find yourself in the position where you have to either chalk it up to experience or sour the wedding by making a thing about it (since I expect that will be your only chance to collect).

Where does it say that these 2 'no-shows' are complete strangers?

MSE_Joanne wrote: »

I recently arranged a stag do for a close friend, which started with a go-karting adventure. There were 10 of us and I made all the arrangements, getting RSVPs from everyone and paying the venue. Two of the guys who said they were coming didn't show up, so I'm £100 out of pocket. I've emailed both but received no response. Should I ask the friend who got married to get involved and ask them to pay me my money?

alggomas

About this boy who "missed" the party.
He did not miss. His parents decided to go to the other party. parents had double booked. Even so it appears they did not inform the organiser that the boy could not go and they did have contact details on the invite.
Coming back to this:
You should not organise something with your own money.

Liz3yy

It's downright rude if nothing else to simply not show up. A so called friend of ours bailed out of my hen do at the last minute - it was at a spa hotel and as we dipped under minimum numbers we could no longer have the spa suite to ourselves for the day. She then then proceeded not to bother coming to the wedding, both her and her boyfriend - no decline they simply didn't show. I was furious as we had set table plans at the reception, being two people down on one table was embarassing.

I don't need friends like that in my life so instead of worrying about the money they cost us I simply cut them out of my life, I heard later on through mutual friends that she was complaining about friends who bored her, and that it was time to block a few people on social media ....charming

mr-tom_2

I have a more evil suggestion.

Having already organised the do, you already have *everybody*'s contact details.

So / the £100 between the remaining people, and write a very nice email to everyone explaining that as 2 people (name them) didn't show up and are now refusing attempts at contact, you've been left out of pocket and ask whether the rest of the group would mind putting their hands in their pockets to cover the delinquent debt, which works out at £100/(n-2) per person.

Make the email as good natured as possible. If you can, try to make people laugh.

You might see a little money back, plus it'll be entertaining and best of all, everybody knows what they did, so that group of friends won't be trusting them again.

marich

Yes , the benefit of hindsight is great - if only you had asked for money up front...

The situation being as it is , you have had no response to your emails and everybody had a good time . I would be tempted to email them again asking for their shares , noting you have had no response as yet to your first request and remind them that , on behalf of the whole group , you booked the events in good faith and with their assurance .

I would also be telling them that if they don't pay their shares then you will be asking everybody else to pay extra to cover their unpaid contribution . The mail will be addressed to them but also 'bcc'ed to all of the others including the groom .

I don't know how many of the others these two knew but believe you will see group pressure at work , and they might not like it but they will have the spotlight on them and have to sort it out or lose face .

You will perhaps have to be prepared for their resentment , but if the money is significant to you then fair is fair .

happyinflorida

Yes - I'd want to know if two people I thought were friends had done the dirty like this!

In future learn from this. Never ever pay anything up front, ask for the money when people say they want to come and warn them that if they don't pay you by a certain date then they won't be booked.

gloriouslyhappy

jorok wrote: »

He was going to pay the money if they came, so it isn't a real loss, just disappointing that there was a no-show that HE had paid for in advance. Does he usually charge people for invitations to his events? If he does, get the money in advance. If he doesn't, he should stop wittering.

Of course it's a real loss! He wasn't going to pay the money for them, he only paid upfront as the organiser of his friend's stag do. Didn't you read this? He's now out of pocket for the two no-shows, those who bothered to turn up as agreed reimbursed him, and as for charging for invitations to his events, I repeat, he was the organiser of a stag do, not an individual hosting a party.

Wittering? Yes, but who's doing it?

pennypinchUK

If they committed to come to the stag do you should pursue them for the money. You did nothing wrong, they did.

Whether you get the money is a different matter, but this is one matter of honour I believe it really is worth falling out over, whatever the amount of money.

SmlSave

This is why you should always get the money first!

Don't let the wedding couple know about this - it will create stress for them and tarnish their wedding memory. Trust me, I know!

Continue to chase the guys who didn't turn up

PDC

Its all very well for everyone to say to the OP 'you should always get the money first', which I think every other person on the thread has posted, but in the real world, when you are organising an event for people who are friendly but not necessarily friends then waiting to book an event until you got the funds from everyone would see the event not go ahead.

I gather they do realise that getting the money before hand would have been more ideal given how things have turned out.

Not knowing the relationships between all the people its difficult knowing how best to proceeded.