Two people didn't turn up to stag do and I'm out £100

Teacher2

The wedding couple and one or both set of parents will be paying out thousands for the actual wedding and so to have to find another £100 at short notice would be a real financial blow. It would be a kindness not to mention it.

As with the above commenters, I agree that the lesson for the future is to get money up front.

In this case there are a couple of options. Firstly, you could e-mail the no-showers again for the money, several times if need be. This could be followed up by a phone call. They will be attending the wedding and so you can make it clear that, if they do not produce the money before then, then can give it to you when you see them at the event. Don't be confrontational, present it as a favour that you are prepared to wait until you see them.

Another approach might be to let those who did attend know and suggest that the attenders all try to cover the no-shows' contributions together and so you would all end up paying a couple of pounds each instead of your paying the whole £100. It isn't fair but it is one way round your not paying the whole bill yourself. (It also has the advantage of letting everyone know what the two no-showers did).

Finally, you could just let it go and count it as a contribution towards your friend's wedding present.

Don't let the situation completely sour your view of the trustworthiness of others since most of the attendees paid up honourably. In the future, however, be more cautious in your financial dealings with other people. Don't give them the opportunity to fleece you.

Pollycat

Teacher2 wrote: »

The wedding couple and one or both set of parents will be paying out thousands for the actual wedding and so to have to find another £100 at short notice would be a real financial blow. It would be a kindness not to mention it.

Teacher2 - do you know this for certain?
It may just be a low key wedding.
Or the people getting married or their parents may be minted.

Teacher2 wrote: »

As with the above commenters, I agree that the lesson for the future is to get money up front.

In this case there are a couple of options. Firstly, you could e-mail the no-showers again for the money, several times if need be. This could be followed up by a phone call. They will be attending the wedding and so you can make it clear that, if they do not produce the money before then, then can give it to you when you see them at the event. Don't be confrontational, present it as a favour that you are prepared to wait until you see them.

Always, always, always get money up front.
Sadly, the OP has learned that lesson the hard way.

If these 2 people confirmed they were coming - and if they were aware that a no-show would still mean they had to pay - I would definitely chase them up for the money.
By email and by phone.

Teacher2 - do you know for certain that these 2 people will be attending the wedding?

Teacher2 wrote: »

Another approach might be to let those who did attend know and suggest that the attenders all try to cover the no-shows' contributions together and so you would all end up paying a couple of pounds each instead of your paying the whole £100. It isn't fair but it is one way round your not paying the whole bill yourself. (It also has the advantage of letting everyone know what the two no-showers did).

I would definitely let the groom and everybody else know that you are out of pocket because of the no-shows.

Teacher2 wrote: »

Finally, you could just let it go and count it as a contribution towards your friend's wedding present.

Why should the OP do that?
The OP or the bride & groom come out losers in that scenario.
The losers should be the 2 people who committed to attend an even but didn't turn up.

sneekymum

I'd no idea people charge their guests to attend parties. When did this all begin? In my world you throw the party you can afford with all the hospitality you can muster, with no expectation that the guests will foot the bill. No wonder they didn't show up.

Pollycat

sneekymum wrote: »

I'd no idea people charge their guests to attend parties. When did this all begin? In my world you throw the party you can afford with all the hospitality you can muster, with no expectation that the guests will foot the bill. No wonder they didn't show up.

It wasn't a party - it was an event.

In my world, there's always been a charge for stuff like that.

Many years ago, when invited to hen parties, we often used to go to the nearest city to a nightclub.

The bride didn't pay for the bus for the whole party, the bride didn't pay the entrance fee for everybody to get into the nightclub - we paid for ourselves.

And to say they were going to attend - which the OP said they did - and not show up is just plain rude.

gayleygoo

Certainly ask them to pay up, pointing out that you wouldn't be out of pocket if they had declined the invitation in the first place. These things always cost money, they should have known that. However if they do refuse to pay for something they didn't go to, there isn't much you can do about it. That's why, as many others have pointed out, it's best to get the money first - they are more likely to make the effort to attend if they face financial loss if they don't!

I went to an event once where a large house had been booked for our group of the weekend. Some people didn't show up. One of them still paid her share of the house even though she couldn't stay, but the others didn't, which meant the rest of us had to pay more to cover the cost. We wouldn't have wanted the organiser to be out of pocket to over £200!

I wouldn't bring it up to your friend who is getting married though, it's not his fault at all.

catkins

Maybe when they were young they too had rude inconsiderate parents who thought it was ok for them not to turn up at parties etc and not let the party giver know like the child in the newspapers the other week!


I think it is extremely rude and I would be furious. If it were possible to get the money back then I would try and get it back. What if the OP cannot afford to be £100 out of pocket?

lulu_92

I wonder how the no-showers would feel if they were in the OP's shoes?

paul2louise

If u email them again make sure u copy the wedding couple and the other guests in the email.

wishus

Unlike the little boy who missed his friends party, this is a decision to take part in an event made by grown adults, who presumably were told they would have to pay their bit in advance of the day and how much that would be, even if you didn't take the money there and then (and you'll know for next time). So in that case, they should still pay. Send them a reminder text, but be nice.

... if perchance this is a scenario where you decided to pay for everyone, and were just miffed that they didn't show because you have paid for nothing (like where the little boy missed his party) then suck it up, silly.

c.cam108

I've been in this situation recently, organising a stag do where one person didn't turn up. I would have been £40 out of pocket since I paid the venue in advance, so everyone else just chipped in an extra few quid to cover it.

The good thing was, it was a clay pigeon shoot, so we each got a few extra shots since the cartridges were paid for.