Two people didn't turn up to stag do and I'm out £100

PenguinOfDeath

PDC wrote: »

Its all very well for everyone to say to the OP 'you should always get the money first', which I think every other person on the thread has posted, but in the real world, when you are organising an event for people who are friendly but not necessarily friends then waiting to book an event until you got the funds from everyone would see the event not go ahead..

Every hen do I have attended that required a pre-book has been like this, with strict deadlines for payment beforehand. I don't mind that at all as it leaves no room for ambiguity.
It helps that with most of these the bride had been involved in most of the planning so had a relationship with everyone.

I learnt my lesson when organising a trip with 4 of called friends, two of them paid straight away from overseas, the other two flaked out leaving me out of pocket and I've barely spoken to them since. Never again.

NobodysChild

PDC wrote: »

Its all very well for everyone to say to the OP 'you should always get the money first', which I think every other person on the thread has posted, but in the real world, when you are organising an event for people who are friendly but not necessarily friends then waiting to book an event until you got the funds from everyone would see the event not go ahead.

I disagree with this. I agree with penguin of death above me. I have never known an event be booked without having to pay upfront, and so it makes sense to get the money upfront from people. Why wouldn't you?

Each person coming would have to give me the money first. Otherwise, how can I book their place? The company who are taking the money for the meals or event, cannot book a place until money is received for it, so as I need the money first, I would take it from each individual person. Anyone who doesn't pay, doesn't get to come. Simples.

If for instance, I was booking the Christmas meal at work (10 of us) it is £15.50 each, and I would ask for the £15.50 from each person involved. I simply would not book a place for the person or persons who did not pay. There would be a deadline (say 6 weeks before,) and whoever hadn't paid didn't get to come. Its amazing how people suddenly find the money when they think they're going to be left out.

To the OP. I don't think there is much you can do legally, just learn by it, and get the money up front for things in future, which is the advice that most people here have given.

This isn't much help to you, but I would never pay for someone else, and then rely on them reimbursing me, or not turning up, and me wasting my money. It's just tantamount to lending people money really, and that is never a good idea! :cool:

Augustus_the_Strong

Live and learn. That's why I never organise these sort of things any more. Get the money up front, or else only organise things that don't require payment/deposits in advance.

Send them a firmly-worded reminder though (they did RSVP, so they can't say they didn't know about it), and see if there's anyone else you can share the debt with - your good friends may well be decent about it, no reason why you should have to take the full burden when you've done the organising job as well.

SanguineSteve

What a pi$$er. Organising any sort of group activity can become a poisoned challis.

The last stag i went on, the BM used a company that deals exclusively with stag-do packages etc and they had it setup that the BM provided names/email addresses of the invitees and then the company sent individual invoices. I think the BM probably had to pay a small deposit too though.

Of course, it's not to everyone's tastes and was rather inflexible/expensive but it took the burden away from the BM as i'm sure this is a very common occurrence.

With regards to getting your money back, don't bother the Groom with it. He won't appreciate you adding to his worries. I dunno, i fear you'll have to take it on the chin and chalk it up to experience.

NobodysChild

Yep, I think just tell everyone simply and concisely and politely, that you can't book their place without payment in full in advance. If they don't pay, then you can't book their place, and they will be left out. As I said earlier, it's funny how people suddenly come up with the money if they think they're going to be left out!

I mean, why should one single person be responsible for paying for everyone, and then have to go begging for their own money after the event?

Pollycat

Pollycat wrote: »

I would definitely let the groom and everybody else know that you are out of pocket because of the no-shows.

As I posted previously, I think the groom should know that his friend is out of pocket - but not until after the wedding.

TBagpuss

I think the Groom ought to know, and I would send a group mail to all of the stag party thanking those who have paid, and asking that [name] and [name] pay (confirm how much each owes) let you have the moeny they owe asap. Remind them that they confirmed they were coming and that you are currently personally out of pocket as a result of them having not attended (or cancelled) after confirming that they were definitely coming.

Peer pressure may result in them coughing up, and if it doesn't. the Groom and their other friends ought to know that they are the kind of people who are prepared to take advantage of others.

£100 is a lot to lose - and as you were organising it on behalf of the Groom I do not think it would be unreasonable for the Groom, to reimburse you if his friends do not.

Snakey

Pollycat wrote: »

Where does it say that these 2 'no-shows' are complete strangers?

You're quite right. They could be the OP's close friends, or brothers, or flat-mates, and he has chosen not to give us that information but to instead compose a post implying that the only way he has of contacting these guys is a) e-mailing them and b) asking the groom to get in touch with them.

(You do realise, don't you, that these things are invented by the MSE team and that there is not in fact an OP out there who's lost £100 on a go-karting event but felt unable to post about it in person? We can pretty much make whatever assumptions we like without it actually mattering to anybody.)

Pollycat

Snakey wrote: »

You're quite right.

It's OK, you could have just stopped at this point.

You may be happy making wild assumptions about posts but I like to base my replies on facts, not assumptions.

And if these posts are written by the MSE team, they might like to consider putting more information in to stop people making wild assumptions......

maman

roses wrote: »

This is like that article in the newspaper two weeks ago where the boy didn't go to a birthday party.

Exactly! It sounds like the mse person has done a variation on the theme to promote a thread. Akin to lazy journalism IMO.