Two people didn't turn up to stag do and I'm out £100

littledrummergirl

As a mother of a son getting married in a few months time, and paying 50% of the cost (definately not minted!). I would have asked everyone to pay in full beforehand. I would still try to get them to pay up, but if no luck, sharing the cost would be a nice gesture, otherwise, sadly you would have to stand it, and it would be a lesson hard learned for the future.

tallgirld

The exact same thing happened to me and I ended up being out of pocket.

As a result I have never and will never organise anything like that again!!

Jagraf

We are all guilty to some degree of people paying for us, conferences employees don't attend, school events where there are refreshments and we don't show, it just isn't as obvious as this.

I remember my wedding dress fitter telling me about one lady who was supposed to go for a final fitting on a Sunday, she opened the shop just for her but the woman 'forgot'. All these people are out of pocket, you just put it down to experience.

Yes, get the money in advance.

When you have your own business and time is money, you pick up on it more. The delivery van who is blocking you because that companipy's delivery is more important than your time. The lady who is in front of you at the supermarket who wants a chat etc.

fairy_lights

I would send a group facebook message/email round to everyone invited to the event, reminding them that a few people haven't paid in full and you've been left out of pocket, and could they get the money to you as soon as possible. Then you're not naming and shaming anyone but everyone in the group will be aware of the situation, and maybe that will guilt the offenders in to coughing up?

Soleil_lune

Argh! This is so annoying! Whenever anything is organised at work or in a group of mates or with any social event (wedding/50th birthday party etc,) there is always someone who doesn't turn up, (and doesn't cough up, if it's is relevant!) A woman at work the other week hired 2 lanes of the bowling alley for a party for her daughter and 11 friends, and paid for meals for them all - it cost about £170. Well SIX of them didn't turn up! So there was just the six of them, and twelve meals had been made too. So the 3 sets of parents that had stayed scoffed some of that! But the point is, that the parents ended up wasting £85 on the six that didn't turn up! She couldn't do anything about that of course.

Then there was the art group in town near me; there was 10 who registered, and it was £3.50 each per session, because the teacher charged £15 for the 2 hours, and they had to pay £20 for the room for the 2 hours. So they needed the full £35 from all of the people. Every single week at least 3 or 4 didn't turn up, leaving the woman arranging it to pay the ten to fifteen pounds shortfall. Several times the art teacher waived her fee, so the woman would not have to pay anything, and several times, the 8 who DID turn up, paid a pound extra or so, to try and help make the money up too. In the end, the woman organising it said people need to pay 4 weekly in advance now, and about half the of ten dropped out! It was cancelled. Shame for the ones who always turned up and always paid.

But to the OP, yes, you need to get the money up front! Tell everyone that you can't book anything, until you have the money, so if you don't get the money off everyone, then you can't book it. But I fear you don't have a hope in hell of getting your money back.

Like I said, there's always SOMEONE isn't there?! :mad:

jorok

scotsbob wrote: »

Two lessons learned for the future. Let someone else take the risks involved in organising events.
Never book anything on behalf of someone else if you don't have their money first.


You could ask your friend to have a word but I don't see these guys paying £100 for something they didn't go to.

He was going to pay the money if they came, so it isn't a real loss, just disappointing that there was a no-show that HE had paid for in advance. Does he usually charge people for invitations to his events? If he does, get the money in advance. If he doesn't, he should stop wittering.

catkins

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Argh! This is so annoying! Whenever anything is organised at work or in a group of mates or with any social event (wedding/50th birthday party etc,) there is always someone who doesn't turn up, (and doesn't cough up, if it's is relevant!) A woman at work the other week hired 2 lanes of the bowling alley for a party for her daughter and 11 friends, and paid for meals for them all - it cost about £170. Well SIX of them didn't turn up! So there was just the six of them, and twelve meals had been made too. So the 3 sets of parents that had stayed scoffed some of that! But the point is, that the parents ended up wasting £85 on the six that didn't turn up! She couldn't do anything about that of course.

Then there was the art group in town near me; there was 10 who registered, and it was £3.50 each per session, because the teacher charged £15 for the 2 hours, and they had to pay £20 for the room for the 2 hours. So they needed the full £35 from all of the people. Every single week at least 3 or 4 didn't turn up, leaving the woman arranging it to pay the ten to fifteen pounds shortfall. Several times the art teacher waived her fee, so the woman would not have to pay anything, and several times, the 8 who DID turn up, paid a pound extra or so, to try and help make the money up too. In the end, the woman organising it said people need to pay 4 weekly in advance now, and about half the of ten dropped out! It was cancelled. Shame for the ones who always turned up and always paid.

But to the OP, yes, you need to get the money up front! Tell everyone that you can't book anything, until you have the money, so if you don't get the money off everyone, then you can't book it. But I fear you don't have a hope in hell of getting your money back.

Like I said, there's always SOMEONE isn't there?! :mad:

You would think that at my age (60) I would not be surprised at the selfishness of some people but, no, it never ceases to amaze and sadden me.

onesixfive

Take a couple of invoices to the wedding & make a point of handing them over when a couple of those who DID attend are around & make sure word gets around - name & shame them - although don't make a big issue of it & spoil the big day for the bride & groom.

19lottie82

Yes, I'd get the groom to have a quiet word. No need to put the thumb screws on, but maybe a little nudge will shame them into coughing up.

People like this really get on my wick. It's really easy (and polite) to let the organiser know that they can't / won't attend, but they choose not to. It's obvious that they don't like confrontation so decide just to stick their head in the sand, hoping it will disappear, rather than doing the right thing. Pretty pathetic really.

tain

I've got exactly this going on with my stag do, and YES I'd definitely want to be getting involved if someone is shirking on paying their subs.

As long as there was a clear 'verbal' contract spelling out exactly what the deal was - e.g. "it's £50 a head, reply YES if you can *definitely* come".


If I found out that two of my mates had done my best man over for £50 each, I'd tell them they're not welcome to the wedding until they pay him back. I don't want to be paying out money for them to enjoy my wedding when they're happy to do over my best man.